# President Scylla and the SDMB Cabinet!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 26, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065 "2002-06-26T17:22:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Grim\_Beaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grim_Beaker)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/1 "2002-06-26T17:22:52Z")
**President Scylla and the SDMB Cabinet!**
Yes, it is truly now only a matter of time before our very own Scylla is the central figure in the U.S. Presidential inauguration in the not too distant future. It is assured. Yea. Verily.
Given that this is so (no big leap of logic here IMHO) who do you think would be ideal candidates for Scylla’s presidential cabinet? I have composed my own preliminary list of those people who I thought would do a good job and posted them here for your perusal.
Anthracite - Secretary of Energy@
SuaSponte - Attorney General@
CalMeacham - Secretary of Labor@
Maeglin - Secretary of Commerce@
DPWhite - Housing Secretary@
sailor - Secretary of Transportation@
Geobabe - Secretary of the Interior@
Tomndebb - Treasury Secretary@
gobear - Secretary of Education@
Sam Stone - Secretary of State@
? - Secretary of Veterans Affairs@
BluePony - U.S. Homeland Security Director@
ExTank - Secretary of Defense@
wring - Health and Human Services Secretary@
? - Secretary of Agriculture@
RTFirefly - EPA Administrator@
Collounsbury - U.S. Trade Representative@
John Corrado - U.S. National Security Advisor@
For comparison the current presidential cabinet is:
Abraham, Spencer - Secretary of Energy@
Ashcroft, John - Attorney General@
Chao, Elaine - Secretary of Labor@
Evans, Donald - Secretary of Commerce@
Martinez, Mel - Housing Secretary@
Mineta, Norman - Secretary of Transportation@
Norton, Gale - Secretary of the Interior@
O’Neill, Paul - Treasury Secretary@
Paige, Rod - Secretary of Education@
Powell, Colin - Secretary of State@
Principi, Anthony - Secretary of Veterans Affairs@
Ridge, Tom - U.S. Homeland Security Director@
Rumsfeld, Donald - Secretary of Defense@
Thompson, Tommy - Health and Human Services Secretary@
Veneman, Ann - Secretary of Agriculture@
Whitman, Christine Todd - EPA Administrator@
Zoellick, Robert - U.S. Trade Representative@
Rice, Condoleeza - U.S. National Security Advisor@
Teeming millions! What say you? Is the list good? The epitome of American values and prosperity? If not feel free to suggest modifications (or post your own list entirely). In addition, if those nominated wish to post an acceptance speech (or denial… the horror!) then I’m sure Scylla… er, I mean… the President, will be magnanimous in allocating Internet resources for your disposal.
**Grim\_Beaker**
Town Crier
Announcer of News
Whitehouse Coffee Boy
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### Author:  [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/2 "2002-06-26T17:48:54Z")
I demand a Re-count!!!
Everyone knows that Fenris, Cecil II won that election!
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### Author:  [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/3 "2002-06-26T17:51:53Z")
Oh, I’m fine not being listed. I’ll just continue running the shadow government from the bunker while everyone thinks that their vote matters.
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### Author:  [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/4 "2002-06-26T17:59:14Z")
**Don’t blame me, _I_ voted for Kodos.**
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### Author:  [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/5 "2002-06-26T19:08:05Z")
I’d like to be the White House Cat, please. As such, I will of course be in charge of maintaining honor and decorum among all the governmental pets.
Oh, and **'Toon** could be the Official White House Photographer. And **Rue** should be the White House Press Secretary/Spokesperson. Can you just imagine those press conferences? 😃
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/6 "2002-06-26T20:05:06Z")
May I be the First Lady’s social secretary? Your Letitia Baldrige?
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### Author:  [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/7 "2002-06-26T21:30:47Z")
I nominate myself to be the new administration’s Drug Czar. :D:D
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### Author:  [@Grim\_Beaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grim_Beaker)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/8 "2002-06-26T21:33:34Z")
::Looks around, notices no dissents in proposed SDMB cabinet holders::
Is there truly no disagreement in my cabinet selections? Did I just hit a home run on my first try? Sheesh… I never expected such malaise regarding a _political_ thread! The future policies and actions of the American government are at stake here people! Voice your opinion! Or, I, the coffee boy, will exercise my ability to act without opposition and will now obtain HBO and DSL for free!
Ahem. Toon would be a perfect WH Photographer and Rue would be an… aaahh… entertaining addition. Eve, you can be whatever you want, I’m sure Scylla’s wife could not do choose someone better for the position.
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### Author:  [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/9 "2002-06-26T22:12:50Z")
Everybody knows that the election was ‘stolen’ in MPSIMS. The clique refused to allow all the votes to be counted. If the recount had been allowed, the votes clearly would have been in favor of **JDT** running on the ‘Uncut We Stand’ platform.
Our so-called ‘President’s’ plan for tax cuts for many-headed monsters will bring this board into ruin.
But the pressing question - What is Scylla’s definition of “is”?
Supreme executive power should come from a mandate from the people, not some farsical aquatic ceremony.
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### Author:  [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/10 "2002-06-26T23:18:37Z")
We have a bunch of vets on the boards, **David Simmons** is one and he’s pretty smart, I say you give it to him. I looked through GQ for farming questions and I found [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=119431&highlight=farming). **Osiris** seems to be knowledgeable enough to be Ag Secretary. Also, I’d rather see **Captain Amazing** or **minty green** as Housing Secretary instead of **DPWhite**.
Since I’m starting college next year I’ll be looking for internships. Can I be the first intern hired, President Scylla? (No, not one of the Lewinsky types. Quit your snickering. Yeah, you.)
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/11 "2002-06-26T23:20:41Z")
The only (potential) disagreement I might have would be with the Secretary of Transportation.
**matt\_mcl**
Of course, then he’d get us out of our cars and onto the metro. And us car lovin’ Americans wouldn’t have that! 😃
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### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/12 "2002-06-26T23:26:44Z")
well, **matt’s** Canadian, and IIRC, that’d put him out of the running pretty much for a Cabinet Post (the commute alone would be murder).
and I’d like to say for the record that I could take on Tommy Thompson w/one arm tied behind my back!
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/13 "2002-06-26T23:30:21Z")
Just put me in charge of the ATF 😃
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/14 "2002-06-26T23:35:25Z")
Dibs on the Technology Advisor job! 🙂
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/15 "2002-06-26T23:36:35Z")
Secretary Of Locating Hollywood Starlets To Have Wild & Uninhibited Sex With— that universally revered Doper **Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor**
**December** –Secretary of Annoyance.
**Ed Zotti** –Secretary Of Government Cheese.
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### Author:  [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2002, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/16 "2002-06-27T00:22:53Z")
I humbly nominate myself to be Ambassador (Ambassadrix?) to Bermuda.
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2002, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/17 "2002-06-27T00:32:25Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by The Peyote Coyote \*
> \*\*I nominate myself to be the new administration’s Drug Czar. :D:D \*\*
Excuse _me_, but:
1. I already have the right name for the job, and
2. Doesn’t my current position on this board show that I qualify for the position?
😃
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### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/18 "2002-06-27T00:36:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Czarcasm \*
> \*\*2. Doesn’t my current position on this board show that I qualify for the position?
>
> 😃 \*\*
and that position would be???
Prone?
Seated?
Missionary ( 😃 ) ??
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### Author:  [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/19 "2002-06-27T00:36:55Z")
Yes, Czarcasm, but what do you know about illegal drugs?:D:D
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/20 "2002-06-27T00:46:41Z")
I feel that they should be regulated and tasted…err, I mean _tested_ for safety.
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