# President Scylla and the SDMB Cabinet! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065 "2002-06-26T17:22:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/21 "2002-06-27T01:19:10Z")
And nobody is better at regulating and tasting, er testing, them than me. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/22 "2002-06-27T01:33:34Z")
Can I get National Security Advisor? Can I? HUH?!?!?! ---
**Author:** ![bristlesage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@bristlesage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bristlesage)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/23 "2002-06-27T05:15:37Z")
Hey, I live in Nevada, you know, the nationā€™s nuclear wasteland and home to long-time above-ground nuclear testing. (My grandmother used to ditch school and go watch the tests.) So, who could make a better head of the NRC? Okay, maybe someone with a degree in nuclear physics. So, can I head up the The Library of Congress? Dibs! Oh, and I would say the President desperately needs a Chief of Staff and a couple of Joint Chiefs (of the Armed Forces). Without a Chief of Staff, I donā€™t know who will run the country when heā€™s not around. And what about the VP? We might want to find someone for that job, cabinet position or no. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/24 "2002-06-27T10:48:34Z")
Can I be Secretary of Underpants? ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/25 "2002-06-27T11:09:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big Kahuna Burger \* > \*\*I looked through GQ for farming questions and I found [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=119431&highlight=farming). **Osiris** seems to be knowledgeable enough to be Ag Secretary. \*\* Excellent! And since I have never hired any illegal immigrants to clean my house I should be able to ā€¦ um ā€¦ able to ā€¦ Hey! Who put a pubic hair on my coke?! ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/26 "2002-06-27T11:13:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*Can I be Secretary of Underpants? \*\* You know last night I was watching this video with Long Dong Silver and not only was he not wearing any underpants but neither was Princess Seka. What are your views on that? Hey any of you broads can feel free to shakes your tits up to the bar and offer your own opinons on Long Dong Silver as well. You know, Iā€™m as long as he is. Although I have more girth. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/27 "2002-06-27T14:32:12Z")
Interesting. I suspect I would be soon the equivalent of Oā€™Neill. De facto persona non-grata. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Grim\_Beaker \* > **President Scylla and the SDMB Cabinet!** > Collounsbury - U.S. Trade Representative@ And of course Iā€™d resign should idiocy like the steel thing be forced through. Poor Z-boy, he knows better. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/28 "2002-06-27T15:19:59Z")
Iā€™m grateful for the honor, **GrimBeaker** , but I think my regime would be too Draconianā€“algebra for middle school, Shakespeare appreciation classes, and, of course, making all **Straight Dope** books required reading. Iā€™d offer to be the Minister for Silly Walks, but I suspect **Esprix** would beat me to it. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/29 "2002-06-27T17:05:47Z")
Put me down for Secretary of Interior Decoration. ā€œThe Hoover Dam? This whole wall _has_ to goā€¦ā€ Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Grim\_Beaker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Grim\_Beaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grim_Beaker)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/30 "2002-06-27T17:16:21Z")
\*wring[i/] > [@](#): > > Iā€™d like to say for the record that I could take on Tommy Thompson w/one arm tied behind my back! New TV show! Instead of Celebrity Deathmatch we could have Cabinet Deathmatch! Iā€™d watch it! \*Big Kahuna Burger[i/] > [@](#): > > We have a bunch of vets on the boards, David Simmons is one and heā€™s pretty smart, I say you give it to him. I looked through GQ for farming questions and I found this thread. Osiris seems to be knowledgeable enough to be Ag Secretary. Also, Iā€™d rather see Captain Amazing or minty green as Housing Secretary instead of DPWhite. David Simmons as vet Secretary and Osiris as Ag Secretary is perfect (although someone needs to investigate that pubic hair in the cokeā€¦ any takers? Wha-? No! Of course itā€™s not mine!.. sheeshā€¦). Rather see Captain Amazing or minty green as Housing Secretary eh? Could it be? Is this the beginning of Cabinet Deathmatch? šŸ™‚ \*gobear[i/] > [@](#): > > I think my regime would be too Draconian Nonsense. Straight Dope books will become a ā€œmust readā€? Youā€™re just what this country needs. Your decision to not accept the position has been vetoed. You start on Monday. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/31 "2002-06-27T17:44:58Z")
I propose we analyze that tie of Scyllaā€™s. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/32 "2002-06-28T02:08:47Z")
Could I be the chief assassin and ā€œenforcer,ā€ Like G. Gordon Liddy? Iā€™m good at lurking, AND killing threads, and I think those could cross over well into the field of counter-intelligence. Here, to prove my loyalty, Iā€™ll burn my arm with a cigarette lighter, so you can-YOW! That smarts! They should put a warning on these darn things! Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/33 "2002-06-28T04:48:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > **Iā€™d like to be the White House Cat, please. As such, I will of course be in charge of maintaining honor and decorum among all the governmental pets.** Darn! Then I wanna be Vice White House Cat, okay with you? I promise I wonā€™t hog the catnip or anything like thatā€¦ _Holds up a paw_ Catā€™s honor! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/34 "2002-06-28T13:46:48Z")
Ainā€™t this cliche? He gets elected to some big whig job and now he doesnā€™t even have time to come around and even say ā€œhiā€ to his old friends anymore. Guess weā€™re just the the ā€œlittle peopleā€ now. Bastard. Iā€™d withdraw my nomination to be Ambassadrix to Bermuda if I had any scruples. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/35 "2002-06-28T14:53:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cougarfang \* > \*\* > > Darn! Then I wanna be Vice White House Cat, okay with you? I promise I wonā€™t hog the catnip or anything like thatā€¦ _Holds up a paw_ Catā€™s honor! \*\* Weeelllllā€¦ okay. But first time you donā€™t clean the litterbox, youā€™re out. šŸ˜‰ And **Punditā€™s** got a pointā€¦ where the hell IS our commander-in-chief? How are we supposed to carry out his every whim if we donā€™t know what it is? Iā€™ve got a lot of pets here wondering what theyā€™re mission isā€¦ sure, we got the whole ā€œNazi Groundhogs=Evilā€ thing, but how about a little direction??? ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/36 "2002-06-28T15:26:53Z")
Can I be the Secretary of Meteorology, Cold Weather Bureau? ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/37 "2002-06-29T01:42:54Z")
Also, **Fenris** would be an excellent Vice President. Scylla-Fenris, thatā€™s a ticket you canā€™t turn down. **Airman Doors** , you should be the guy who carries the ā€œfootballā€ around. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/38 "2002-06-29T01:48:28Z")
Can I be Secretary in Charge of Inter-American Affairs? That way, I my ramblings about Latin America can be put to GOOD USE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/39 "2002-06-29T06:36:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big Kahuna Burger \* > **Airman Doors** , you should be the guy who carries the ā€œfootballā€ around. \*\* I can live with that. I can do the intimidating look very well. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/40 "2002-06-29T10:14:17Z")
> [@](#): > > You know last night I was watching this video with Long Dong Silver and not only was he not wearing any underpants but neither was Princess Seka. What are your views on that? I would need to view the video in question over and over - and over and over and over and over and over (and over) - before I can make a statement in that regard. But I will say this muchā€¦ when I do make a statement, it will most definitely be a statement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065.md?page=3)