# President Scylla and the SDMB Cabinet! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065 "2002-06-26T17:22:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Bad\_Astronomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@The\_Bad\_Astronomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bad_Astronomer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/41 "2002-06-30T22:41:56Z")
Would **Scylla** need a Science Advisor? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2002, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/42 "2002-06-30T22:57:53Z")
I wanna be Ambassador to Bulungi. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2002, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/43 "2002-06-30T23:47:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Collounsbury \* > \*\* > And of course Iā€™d resign should idiocy like the steel thing be forced through. Poor Z-boy, he knows better. \*\* Interesting. It sounds eerily like the pissed off, sideways-pissant Sherman disclaimerā€¦'If nominated I will not run" etc. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Osiris_ > > **Hey! Who put a pubic hair on my coke?!** Pending excrutiating and invasive DNA tests, which involve plucking pubic hairs from any federal employee within the hemisphere, we can prudently assume it was **Czarcasm**. (Generally prone w/ random wiry movements, shameless stroking movements, _signficant_ ::koff, koff:: follicle evidenceā€¦) Iā€™d be HURT at being overlooked for crucial State Dept. assignments, were it not for my carefully nurtured Stealth Hammer guise. [Self-indulgent tanget]: Damn it all, you yowling, drug-addled extroverts, ya think itā€™s EASY being the drab, blah, ā€œpart of the wallpaperā€ designated pissant? Who do ya think actually makes stuff work? It ainā€™t Jedi, Spidey or dubious pseudo-oriental chop-sockey posers, bay-bee. Itā€™s bland, water-dripping-on-stone, annoying, persistent _twerps_ who get real work done. [/end self-indulgent hijack] Not that Iā€™m hinting for a lead State Dept. posting, yā€™understand.(Festering ingrates!) Sinister presence, Veb ---
**Author:** ![HerMajestyLorna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7cd45c/32.png) [@HerMajestyLorna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerMajestyLorna)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/44 "2002-07-01T00:30:44Z")
Can I be the queen of the USA? What? There isnā€™t royalty here? Ah. Well, exceptions can be made, can they not? Iā€™ll just be like the queen of England, only lots younger and even less powerful. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/45 "2002-07-01T01:24:23Z")
Well, look at this. I go on vacation, and come back to find Iā€™ve been called to service. Hopefully the colonoscopy will go ok and my services wonā€™t be needed for a while, but, who know what depths of degeneracy might be plumbed in that procedure, and who knows what will come out in the end? If the worst should pass, itā€™s good to know we have a contingency in place. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/46 "2002-07-01T10:09:19Z")
[secā€™y of Ag hat on] I subscribe to the theory that if all world leaders had sex with each other and then cuddled afterwards things would be a whole lot better. So for your first foreign trip might I suggest you visit [Jiang Zemin](http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/leaders/jzm/jzmhome.htm) over in China. I bet he has real nice red silk sheets. [hat off] ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/47 "2002-07-01T16:22:11Z")
Cuddle? Bah! I canā€™t even get them to call me the next day! ā˜¹ Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/48 "2002-07-01T18:54:49Z")
Can I be a Presidential intern? I just bought a new thong! ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/49 "2002-07-01T19:19:30Z")
I have to give **Elenfair** a job. Is there a Secretary of Secret Police? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/50 "2002-07-01T19:36:29Z")
The Happy Fun Squad is the Secret Police? That does explain a lot. ā€¦no, no! Iā€™m happy! Iā€™m happy! Let me go! I swear Iā€™ll stop fretting and smile some more! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/51 "2002-07-02T01:28:51Z")
Oh boy. I want in on this. Interior, State, NSAā€“heck. I could do Energy. Yup yup. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/52 "2002-07-02T03:05:43Z")
**President Scylla** Well, we still have to fill the CIA and FBI spots, so I believe **TVeblen** and **Elenfair** should fill those spots respectively. . Also, in the interests of mod appeasement, **Czarcasm** should be made Drug Czar. Any other spots that need to be filled? Big Kahuna Burger Intern in charge of plugging holes. PS Hamlet, we get to be interns together! We can eat ramen together in my efficiency apartment I share with 2 other guys in a moderately bad part of the city! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/53 "2002-07-02T10:38:04Z")
Dammit, I want to be officially declared Secretary of Underpants! Then I can get down to business on this crucial Long Dong Silver issue. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/54 "2002-07-02T13:19:24Z")
TO: **Grim Beaker** FROM: **celestina, Executive Director, DETA** DATE: July 2, 2002 RE: SDMB Cabinet List Correction I am really upset with you for leaving me out of the cabinet! Anyone whoā€™s anyone knows that Iā€™m the Executive Director of the **Department of Extra Terrestrial Affairs (DETA)** šŸ†’. True, my Department isnā€™t as well known and high profile as some of the others, but it is rapidly growing and is essential if Earth is going to get anywhere in this galaxy, let alone in this universe at the very least. Iā€™ll thank you to correct your list of cabinet members accordingly to compensate for this glaring error. ---
**Author:** ![Grim\_Beaker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Grim\_Beaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grim_Beaker)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/55 "2002-07-02T16:19:58Z")
SPOOFIE, SPOOFIE, SPOOFIEā€¦ no one getā€™s to be Secretary of Underpants just by asking. You have to pay your duesā€¦ pass the testsā€¦ you have to _prove_ that youā€™re the right one for the job. For instanceā€¦ \ thereā€™s the classic 3-Underpants Monte test. \ ::pant::pant:: Okā€¦ so which one am I wearing? **Celestina** Your missive has been received by my Coffee gnomes. The gnomes are preparing a reply (In President Scyllaā€™s name of courseā€¦ all hail President Scylla!). Your request will be handled shortly ::shuffles 5 foot high stack of memos in inbox:: šŸ™‚ Grim ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/56 "2002-07-02T19:06:45Z")
Dibs on being the Under Secretary of International Trade!!! Heck, given my near-obscurity on this board, Iā€™d take the Jucge of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/57 "2002-07-03T02:04:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big Kahuna Burger \* > **. . Also, in the interests of mod appeasement, Czarcasm should be made Drug Czar.** If nominated, I will accept. If elected, I will serve. If _not_ elected, yā€™all will pay in ways you can never imagine!šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/58 "2002-07-03T08:04:44Z")
Iā€™m Secretary of State? Wow. Iā€™m taking bets now for how long until weā€™re in our first nuclear war. The line is starting at 5 years, 11 gets you 10. ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/59 "2002-07-03T14:39:07Z")
Sam- Iā€™ll take the underā€¦ /aside However, anyone named after a John Prine song is ok in my book. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/60 "2002-07-03T19:50:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*Dammit, I want to be officially declared Secretary of Underpants! Then I can get down to business on this crucial Long Dong Silver issue. \*\* **SPOOFE** ā€”You ainā€™t qualified. We all know that, not only do you run around without underpants, you donā€™t wear any pants at all! :eek: Or, at least not in public. Instead, why donā€™t you try out for **Secretary Of Streaking**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065.md?page=4)