# President Scylla and the SDMB Cabinet! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065 "2002-06-26T17:22:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/61 "2002-07-03T22:54:18Z")
Personally, I think that I have the correct credentials for media scheduling. So that’s my job. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/62 "2002-07-04T12:31:23Z")
The Happy Fun Squad _is_ part of an unnamed, unheard of Scylla Government Agency. Secret service? Maybe. **lno** , I have to kill you now. You know too much. ::: smothers lno with a smooch-of-death to keep him quiet ::: Scylla, Mr. President sir, I’d be honoured to serve in your Secret Police. Elly, adjusting her signature to reflect the changes in policy. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/63 "2002-07-04T12:36:51Z")
Your secret governmental powers have no effect on me. I shall never be silenced. The truth shall set me free. Sic semper tyrannis! [sub]Well, maybe they have a LITTLE effect. A cumulative one.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/64 "2002-07-04T12:42:29Z")
\*\* lno \*\*, I know where you live. E. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/65 "2002-07-04T12:46:04Z")
You know the address for the SDMB Popular People’s Front. Little do you know that it’s just a front for the People’s Front of the SDMB. And that’s just a front for the SDMB People’s Front. We’re like a matruskha doll, we are, and you’ll never track us down. Well, unless you look in the phone book … we didn’t pay extra to be unlisted. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/66 "2002-07-04T14:00:42Z")
Hmm, he presents an interesting conundrum. Since I have no phonebook handy I conclude the only other option is to kill everyone and let God sort it out. … :eek: Oh my! Power really does corrupt. Good thing I’m just the Sec. of Ag. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/67 "2002-07-05T05:18:40Z")
I humbly accept this assignment. For the next few years, I shall wear many Laminated ID Cards, carry copious credentials and be seen festooned with 4 or 5 camera bodies around my neck at all times. I’ll not shave regularly, and my photographs will become the standard by which all White House Photographers shall be judged. I will win the Pulitzer Prize and donate my winnings to UNICEF. I will take sensitive and kindly portraits. I will rarely exploit situations. I will shoot both color and black & white. I will attempt to document the humane as well as human side of the Administration. I will avoid the obvious trap of falling in love with my Laboratory Administrator, and instead maintain decorum at all times. I will not wear plaid bowties. I will not remove my earring. I will not tattoo the White House Seal on my buttocks. I will serve my President as best as I can, and fulfill all of his/her image-creating needs. Sincerely, Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Necris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e47c2d/32.png) [@Necris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necris)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/68 "2002-07-05T06:12:14Z")
Hey it looks like Scylla won’t be having a cabinet after all…we just had a coup…Splutter declared himself supreme ruler: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=123958](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=123958) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/69 "2002-07-05T09:39:05Z")
Grim… > [@](#): > > there’s the classic 3-Underpants Monte test… > > Ok… so which one am I wearing? NONE, you silly goose. Don’tcha think I haven’t pulled the same exact trick myself? Bosda… > [@](#): > > SPOOFE—You ain’t qualified. We all know that, not only do you run around without underpants, you don’t wear any pants at all! A spurious lie if I ever heard one. EVERYONE knows that, A: I enjoy the comfy feeling of lacey thong panties, and B: I ALWAYS go out in public with at least a garbage bag over my loins… Err… I mean… I was drunk? ---
**Author:** ![Chance\_the\_Gardener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@Chance\_the\_Gardener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chance_the_Gardener)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/70 "2002-07-05T16:54:57Z")
I hereby submit my résumé for the **Chief White House Plumber** position. I will do my job well, and assure you reëlection. I’m looking forward to my brief stint in prison and the radio talk show I’ll get after that. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/71 "2002-07-05T21:46:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big Kahuna Burger \* > \*\ ***President Scylla** > Well, we still have to fill the CIA and FBI spots, so I believe **TVeblen** and **Elenfair** So what does that make me? ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/72 "2002-07-06T03:06:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\* > > So what does that make me? \*\* Four words: White House Travel Office ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/73 "2002-07-06T06:29:27Z")
Can’t I get a top level FBI job instead? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/74 "2002-07-06T07:50:34Z")
I can’t believe I didn’t see this thread earlier. I am _so_ in line for the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Tripler Four stars? Better make it 6. . . ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/75 "2002-07-06T10:17:01Z")
Oh, god, Tripler as one of the Joint Chiefs? You might as well just nuke the planet now and save all the hassle… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/76 "2002-07-06T16:30:34Z")
Doesn’t it make sense for the Drug Czar to also be one of the Joint Chiefs? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/77 "2002-07-06T18:19:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Czarcasm \* > \*\*Doesn’t it make sense for the Drug Czar to also be one of the Joint Chiefs? 😃 \*\* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA ----wheeze---- 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/78 "2002-07-06T21:21:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > \*\*I will not wear plaid bowties. I will not remove my earring. I will not tattoo the White House Seal on my buttocks. \*\* “No news at 11.” ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/79 "2002-07-06T23:09:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TV time \* > \*\*“No news at 11.” \*\* Damned straight, skippy. 😉 You want access to the archives??? Huh??? Talk to **Eve**!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065/80 "2002-07-07T05:49:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*Oh, god, Tripler as one of the Joint Chiefs? You might as well just nuke the planet now and save all the hassle… > > 😃 \*\* Give me your tired, your poor, your yearning to break free intercontinental ballistic missiles that have endured the shackles and chains of a Cold War. . . Give me 30 minutes, and I’ll give you a cold, frosty/hot, dusty world. Tripler Temperature dependant on whether you are at a target location. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/president-scylla-and-the-sdmb-cabinet/116065.md?page=5)