# Presidential Knife Fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 5, 2012, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768 "2012-10-05T02:16:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/41 "2012-10-05T23:21:24Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Learn something new everyday. > > I wouldn’t discount his father though, he was a _combat_ pilot. Well, yes, a failed one, in that he was shot down. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Imago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85e7bf/32.png) [@Imago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imago)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/42 "2012-10-06T00:18:23Z")
This thread is the most badass thing I have seen all week. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/43 "2012-10-06T00:32:51Z")
It is threads like these that make me proud to call myself a Straight Doper. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/44 "2012-10-06T00:33:32Z")
I’m seeing a scene where Teddy Roosevelt is breathing hard over the presidential bodies, his shirt torn in a Kirk-ian fashion as Clinton silently grasps him from behind and draws a blade across his throat, whispering, “Shhh… shhh… I know…” into his ear. That of course assumes that Hillary is elected before the battle begins. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/45 "2012-10-06T00:47:26Z")
I think we can all agree that Ford would have probably tripped on the rug and fallen on his knife before the fight began. Bush Sr. supposedly survived \*four \*plane crashes. He might not be the most agile or powerful knife fighter but he has a knack for survival. Jefferson, Garfield, Harding, Roosevelt, Kennedy, Johnson and Clinton all had extramarital affairs and this might have helped them develop quick defensive moves in close quarters while dodging heavy objects thrown at them at home. But Clinton, along with GW Bush and Cleveland were draft dodgers so there is no reason to believe they would have willingly joined the fray here either. All in all my pick is Jackson. He was the most experienced in direct deadly combat. Yes he used a pistol as weapon of choice in his frequent duels but he was mean, tough, violent, and would beat the living shit out of you with a hickory stick at the slightest provocation if a gun was not available. In one duel, with a man named Dickinson, Jackson gave his opponent the right to take first shot. A man who willingly offers to allow his opponent the first shot in a gun fight has cajones, and Dickinson was said to be a great shot. When Dickinson took his shot it broke two of Jackson’s ribs and lodged right next to his heart. This didn’t slow him down though. Clutching his chest, Jackson took his shot and Dickinson was not so lucky. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/46 "2012-10-06T23:00:01Z")
It seems as if the consensus is Jackson. To quote my professor: The only thing Jackson loved more than his wife was killing people. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/47 "2012-10-07T00:53:43Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > Jefferson, Garfield, Harding, Roosevelt, Kennedy, Johnson and Clinton all had extramarital affairs and this might have helped them develop quick defensive moves in close quarters while dodging heavy objects thrown at them at home. Jefferson? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/48 "2012-10-07T01:17:20Z")
Now basketball, I think we’d have to give that to Obama. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/49 "2012-10-07T11:44:17Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Now basketball, I think we’d have to give that to Obama. I don’t know. Had it been invented, Lincoln probably would have been quite the baller. He was very athletic for his size and apparently had impressive hops ([article](http://www.abrahamlincolnsclassroom.org/Library/newsletter.asp?ID=19&CRLI=96), 14th paragraph). ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/50 "2012-10-08T19:51:18Z")
Is FDR allowed to make steampunk modifications to his wheelchair? If so, then FDR. If not, then FDR because fuck your rules. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/51 "2012-10-08T19:55:51Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Now basketball, I think we’d have to give that to Obama. [Bill Bradley] Dammit! [/BB] ---
**Author:** ![Bouncer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@Bouncer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bouncer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768/52 "2012-10-08T21:33:11Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > Harry Truman would end this melee lickety split. I’m also backing Truman as a contender. Worked on a railroad, lied to get INTO the military, WWI vet, all around bad-ass. Regards, -Bouncer- [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-knife-fight/636768.md?page=2)