# presidential necrophilia: yay or nay?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 7, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739 "2005-02-07T01:50:15Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 10\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/21 "2005-02-08T01:48:16Z")

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> [@Flander](#):
>
> Don’t forget a few condoms and some KY.

I’ve always thought we should have hot dog flavored gel.

We could call it Frankfort, KY.

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**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/22 "2005-02-08T03:05:37Z")

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When I saw the title, I was sure it was about the “rumor” of LBJ actually doing this to Kennedy via neck wound. (I swear, that was a “rumor”) 🆒

That said, Duh Cow deserves a medal of some sort for putting the visual image of a dead naked reagan in everyones minds. :eek:

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**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/23 "2005-02-08T03:35:07Z")

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Didn’t California just recently pass a law against necrophilia? It wasn’t against the law directly before. If you screwed the Gipper a year ago, you might have been Ok except for some vandalism charges or something. That is just more proof that the nanny state intends to outlaw everything enjoyable.

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/24 "2005-02-08T03:43:39Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> Didn’t California just recently pass a law against necrophilia? It wasn’t against the law directly before. If you screwed the Gipper a year ago, you might have been Ok except for some vandalism charges or something. That is just more proof that the nanny state intends to outlaw everything enjoyable.

And, of course, if the person “making the beast with the double back” with Ronnie’s corpse was a woman, zombi Ronnie would be the first to decry the government’s intrusion into people’s private lives.

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**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/25 "2005-02-08T03:50:40Z")

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> [@DuhCow](#):
>
> This is a bipartisan two-part question. My friend and I were watching the halftime show and remembering the wardrobe malfunction from last year. First question: if Ronald Reagan were still alive and physically able to perform something at the halftime show and his genitalia were exposed, would he get in trouble? Since he had Alzheimer’s and was a former President, would any legal action be taken? Second part. If someone mentally and morally depraved went to Reagan’s Presidential Library and molested his corpse, would they get in more trouble than if they just disturbed the body of a “regular” dead person? Thanks.

And what if someone who _wasn’t_ mentally and morally depraved molested his corpse, would they get in less trouble than the mentally and morally depraved person?

What if Reagan consented?

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**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/26 "2005-02-08T05:02:55Z")

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> [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](#):
>
> And what if someone who _wasn’t_ mentally and morally depraved molested his corpse, would they get in less trouble than the mentally and morally depraved person?
> 
> What if Reagan consented?

I’ll be sure to write that into my will. “Feel free to perform sexual acts on my corpse.”

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**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/27 "2005-02-08T06:10:14Z")

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Bahah!!

Thank you **Snarky\_Kong** for making this thread a worthwhile experience! 😃

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**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/28 "2005-02-08T06:14:53Z")

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Augustus Henry Murray was a Scots lexicographer who,like most scholars of his time was an ordained clergyman, and so offers one of my favorite turns of phrase: _“my sermons are like the penis of a jackass; long and vigorous.”_

Which recalls our 40th president, not apropos his penis (the virtues of which must be left to the recollections of a few B-movie starlets and Rock River bathing beauties who may or may not be available for testimonials at this late date), but rather by virtue of “The Speech,” originally given on behalf of an electrical conglomerate; then transmogrified to the benefit of Barry Goldwater; finally for the primal quest of the bestoewing or first-ladyship upon Nancy Reagan, with Ron himself incidentally in the coziest sleeping-chair in Washington DC.

(since _you knew_ any thread mentioning Ronald Reagan would attract Reagan-bashers.)

My grandmother worked in B-movies in the 1940’s, and I grew up on the same river life-guarded by young Ronald Reagan, and yet, uniquely positioned though my ears were, I had never heard any Song of Solomon verses regarding Ronald Reagan’s penis, so I can only conjecture as to its virtues as follows:

FDR, though sticken with polio, still enjoyed an active libido, despite the subliminated lesbianism of his wife who believed in offering up such energies for the sake of social activism. According to his last wishes, FDR was buried in a casket with one open side, so as to blend his essence in with the natural elements as soon as possible. _By contrast_ Ronald Reagan, as we remember from last summer, required himself to be sealed in a coffin of fine wood encasing an inner coffin of marble (as one esteemed wag on the SDMB posted “so he can’t rise from the dead and feast on our tasty brains”) , requiring the lifting powers of 8 enlisted (“I didn’t sign on for this shit!” is not only uttered in battle) personnel. Given what we know about Mercedes Benzes/penes corealtions in the menopausal male, what then are we to make of the penis inadequacy/catafalque connection?

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**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/29 "2005-02-08T13:27:44Z")

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What if the necrophilia was passive in nature?

You never do hear about the passive necrophiliacs anymore. Why, back in my day…

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**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/presidential-necrophilia-yay-or-nay/288739/30 "2005-02-08T14:01:49Z")

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> [@Eutychus](#):
>
> I’ve always thought we should have hot dog flavored gel.
> 
> We could call it Frankfort, KY.

_dies from silly pun or whatever it is_  
I am not and have never been president. So, stay away from my corpse.

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