OK, average age of a sailor on board IKE is 19 years, 2 months.
Majority of my shipmates are male, but there’re 700 women aboard.
Average wait to see the one of the dentist: 45 minutes.
Available reading material: The New Yorker, Cigar Aficionado, The War College Review (graduate theses from the Naval War College), Esquire and some yachting magazine.
What the fuck, over?
Where’s Sports Illustrated? Where’s Time? Where’s People? Hell, for that matter, where’s Seventeen?
Doc, I’m impressed. Your selection of reading material has awed me to the extent that I shall never feel comfortable questioning you. But as you smoke your 6"-Cubano, contemplating the purchase of a 50’-lobster launch as you chortle over this month’s hilarious NYer cartoon, I must ask you?
"Who the fuck do you think your kidding? You’re in the Navy, asswipe! If you could afford a yacht, you’d have a practice in the States, not 25 miles off the coast off Iraq!
“So get your boot camp, two and a half years-removed-from-college attitude in gear, and fix my mouth, sir. And the next time I come back, there better be a SI swimsuit edition in your waiting room… putz.”
Why do these fuckwads do this? And why am I the only one who’ll bitch to their faces?
I must confess that when I was young, I only read New Yorker for the cartoon, avoided Smithsonian like then plague, etc.
Then one day, when I was in my 20’s, I was stuck working in the hospital on a slow long weekend, and hot damn I discovered I loved those magazines.
I don’t subscribe to them anymore, but I’m tempted to start again. (Any SD’er would love Smithsonian, and there’s some darn fine writing in New Yorker, even if you have to ignore all the local NYC stuff, as I do)
But cigar mags? I took cigars up as a serious hobby recently, and I still think they’re pompous beyond belief. Last month I xeroxed off a set of panel reviews, cut the panelists rating apart from each other, and made a party game of having people guess which reviews went together. (i.e. which people were describing the same cigar). The winning score is usually 1-2 correct pairings (out of ten cigars rated by five panelists = 100 possible pairs) In short… the reviews are far more arbitrary than anyone admits. [And the ‘lifestyle’ stuff is just insufferable]
