# Preventing family and friends from "following" what I comment on Facebook **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2016, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756 "2016-06-30T03:09:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/1 "2016-06-30T03:09:17Z")
I like to comment on political or sports things on Facebook as much as anyone else, unfortunately, my family and/or friends occasionally will see that I posted a political comment and then they will jump in to comment on my comment, or click “like” or whatnot. This makes me uncomfortable. If I am discussing politics with someone on Facebook, I would prefer for my family and friends to not tag along behind me and comment on my comments about politics. I would prefer to be able to comment on elections in Virginia, political parties, immigration policy, etc., without feeling “stalked” (no other way to put it) by family. Is there any way in the Facebook settings to prevent this from happening? ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/2 "2016-06-30T06:55:30Z")
I wish I knew. I hope someone has an answer. Just today my mom messaged me to find out why I was so angry about some article and I should not let things get me angry. I had to explain to her that I wasn’t really _angry_, but that the angry face was my best reaction to what was said. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/3 "2016-06-30T11:50:08Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > I wish I knew. I hope someone has an answer. Just today my mom messaged me to find out why I was so angry about some article and I should not let things get me angry. I had to explain to her that I wasn’t really _angry_, but that the angry face was my best reaction to what was said. I once wrote LOL when in reality I was quietly grinning because QG isn’t recognizable by most people. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/4 "2016-06-30T11:51:43Z")
You can create groups on facebook (look into that). What you need to do is create two groups. One for people you want to discuss politics with, one for everyone else. In the box to create a post, you’ll see a button that says Public (or it may say Friends or something else, but it’ll be next to the ‘post’ button). You use that to choose which group of people your post will go to . Political posts go to your set group of friends, regular posts go to everyone. ETA, I think I meant ‘lists’ not ‘groups’. Look into ‘lists’. [https://www.facebook.com/help/search/?q=lists](https://www.facebook.com/help/search/?q=lists) ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/5 "2016-06-30T12:04:58Z")
The OP is talking about posts he’s making on news articles or OTHER people’s posts, not his own. Separating your own posts into viewable/not viewable by population won’t help. It’s why random news posts or individual posts show up on your news feed- one of your friends commented on/liked/whatever it. I also wish I know, but for the opposite reason- I don’t want my posts showing up on “friends of friends’” feeds when my friends comment on my post. It’s invasive, particularly in situations where the friend is friends with someone I don’t want tracking my life. This kind of thing just bit a coworker in the ass- he posted about accepting a new job, his friends commented on it, and it his supervisor wound up seeing it because she’s friends with one of his friends. Ooopsy. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/6 "2016-06-30T12:18:33Z")
I think the OP needs to clarify then, since he never mentioned anything about articles or other people’s posts. If he’s just making posts on his wall, my method should work. Unfortunately, what you post on someone elses wall or as a reply to something someone else posts is totally (as far as I know) up to them and their privacy settings (and in some cases their privacy settings on that specific posts). Basically, if you don’t want other people seeing it, don’t post it. I don’t post anything, even a product review, if next to the comment box, I see my facebook profile picture. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/7 "2016-06-30T12:24:47Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > I also wish I know, but for the opposite reason- I don’t want my posts showing up on “friends of friends’” feeds when my friends comment on my post. It’s invasive, particularly in situations where the friend is friends with someone I don’t want tracking my life. This kind of thing just bit a coworker in the ass- he posted about accepting a new job, his friends commented on it, and it his supervisor wound up seeing it because she’s friends with one of his friends. Ooopsy. In the Privacy\>Timeline\>Who Can See Things On My Timeline settings, there’s one called Who can see things on my timeline? You might see if it’s set to “Friends of Friends” and change it to friends". ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/8 "2016-06-30T14:57:31Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > The OP is talking about posts he’s making on news articles or OTHER people’s posts, not his own. Yes, this is exactly what I mean, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/9 "2016-06-30T15:02:10Z")
The secret is to never “like” or comment on a post that is set to “Public.” This to me is pretty much the most annoying thing about Facebook - I don’t need to see that so-and-so “liked” someone else’s photos or commented on a news article or whatever and I definitely don’t want all my Friends knowing when I “liked” or commented on something, yet this is what shows up in the Newsfeed. If everybody set their privacy to “Friends Only” I think the problem would be partly solved. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/10 "2016-06-30T17:32:25Z")
I mentioned to my daughter once that I noticed she commented on a certain post. She was surprised, and asked me how I knew. I told her Facebook put it on my newsfeed. Sometimes you don’t do anything, and the place you posted doesn’t do anything. Facebook itself decides to put it on your friends’ newsfeeds, and they all get to see it. I’m always seeing other people’s likes and comments, and I’m sure they have no idea. Very little is private online, and I don’t think I’d trust anything to stay private on facebook. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/11 "2016-06-30T18:15:38Z")
My family members posting and arguing over stuff on my was the main reason I shut down my account. The other was total strangers who seemed to appear out of the blue wanting to be my “friends” – creeped me out. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/12 "2016-06-30T20:20:41Z")
My best friend keeps posting awful things on awful political threads that are a total 180 from my political views. I would have continued to be blissfully unaware that he even had political opinions, until Facebook laid it all out on the table for us. It’s been a contentious year. The first time I noticed this feature of Facebook was when a somewhat naughty post from a Hot Black Lesbians page showed up in my feed. One of my friends - who is a hot black lesbian herself - had liked the post and Facebook was telling me. I immediately felt bad for her because, well, who does she know that might get super mad at that? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/13 "2016-06-30T20:34:52Z")
So, you are liking pages and commenting on posts on a public social media site, one that is designed so your friends and family can see your likes and comments, and then you are mad because your friends and family can see your likes and comments? I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/14 "2016-06-30T20:41:24Z")
The only way I figured out was to have two IDs. One for my friends and family and the other so I can comment on politics (rare, no point), local news and guilty pleasure TV shows. It’s not my real name and no one except my SO knows me on that ID. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/15 "2016-06-30T21:38:39Z")
There a big fat basic rule for this. If you are worried about **everybody** seeing what you put on the internet, **don’t put it there.** The most embarrassing thing you ever put out into the ether is capable of being seen by everyone. You can’t take it back. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/16 "2016-06-30T21:57:36Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > So, you are liking pages and commenting on posts on a public social media site, one that is designed so your friends and family can see your likes and comments, and then you are mad because your friends and family can see your likes and comments? I don’t get it. It’s a new feature (in the past year or so). When we signed up it didn’t work like this. Most people don’t even realize it happens. Also most things are configurable so it is frustrating that this feature is not. Nobody’s mad in this thread. We just wish there was better control. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/17 "2016-07-01T03:04:42Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > There a big fat basic rule for this. If you are worried about **everybody** seeing what you put on the internet, **don’t put it there.** The most embarrassing thing you ever put out into the ether is capable of being seen by everyone. You can’t take it back. I’m not embarrassed. I just don’t want to deal with crap from my conservative friends and relatives. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/18 "2016-07-01T13:47:13Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > It’s a new feature (in the past year or so). When we signed up it didn’t work like this. Most people don’t even realize it happens. > > Also most things are configurable so it is frustrating that this feature is not. > > Nobody’s mad in this thread. We just wish there was better control. Fair enough, mad might have been too strong of a term. Still can’t figure out why someone would be upset because friends and family saw a posting on a site that allows you to share postings with friends and family, but whatever. Don’t post stuff you wouldn’t want your friends and family to see seems like a good alternative. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/19 "2016-07-01T14:44:36Z")
If I want to post in solidarity on an LGBTQ page, or “like” a Planned Parenthood post, or respond to a local news story, I want to be able to do so without my friends/family who aren’t as supportive being able to read it. And I don’t think asking FB to not randomly share things I post _outside of my own timeline_ on other people’s newsfeed is all that big of a deal. I’m not mad about it, but I am annoyed that I have to weigh my interest in commenting “HELL YEAH!!!” on the recent Supreme Court abortion decision against my non-interest in having yet another argument over reproduction rights with my hard-right-leaning friends. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756/20 "2016-07-01T15:43:44Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > If I want to post in solidarity on an LGBTQ page, or “like” a Planned Parenthood post, or respond to a local news story, I want to be able to do so without my friends/family who aren’t as supportive being able to read it. And I don’t think asking FB to not randomly share things I post _outside of my own timeline_ on other people’s newsfeed is all that big of a deal. I’m not mad about it, but I am annoyed that I have to weigh my interest in commenting “HELL YEAH!!!” on the recent Supreme Court abortion decision against my non-interest in having yet another argument over reproduction rights with my hard-right-leaning friends. Well, that’s what I don’t get. WHY are you commenting on these things if you don’t want anybody to see it? Everyone in the entire world can see your comment on the LGBTQ page, but somehow having people who are family and who are supposed to be your friends see your comments is somehow making you annoyed? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/preventing-family-and-friends-from-following-what-i-comment-on-facebook/758756.md?page=2)