# Priceless... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553 "2001-01-31T13:50:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/1 "2001-01-31T13:50:43Z")
Tickets to the big play… $170 1800’s costume rental… $stolen 500 writer’s pads full of your scribble… $500 Handgun… $225 Proving insanity as your defense in the trial… priceless (nyuck nyuck nyuck 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/2 "2001-01-31T14:01:49Z")
Am I missing something here? ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/3 "2001-01-31T14:51:30Z")
nah… it’s juts broccoli. Please see sig for explanation ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/4 "2001-01-31T15:27:09Z")
Y’know something? I saw **pez** had posted, and I thought, “hey, someone’s got my back so I don’t have to explain this joke to anyone”. I open the thread, and what do I get? Revenge of the arch-nemesis. Well, I’m still not explaining it, and here’s another one… Nice suit for tech support job interview… $500 Khaki’s and button-downs for work everyday… $270 Commute to work (per week)… $20 Lunches (per week)… $30 Doing a reverse lookup of some asshole who gives you shit because they can’t read what’s printed on your product’s box, finding his address, going to the post office in another city, and changing said asshole’s address… Priceless… ---
**Author:** ![Jukeball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@Jukeball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jukeball)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/5 "2001-01-31T15:35:48Z")
Someones lost it here!!! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/6 "2001-01-31T15:41:42Z")
I get the second one, but not the first. They are jokes one the credit card commercial. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/7 "2001-01-31T17:28:18Z")
> [@](#): > > Doing a reverse lookup of some asshole who gives you shit because they can’t read what’s printed on your product’s box, finding his address, going to the post office in another city, and changing said asshole’s address… Priceless… And also a federal offense. I hope this was anecdotal and not something you actually DID. ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/8 "2001-01-31T18:18:54Z")
All in jest my friend, all in jest… An amusing thought we had one day while at work. Dr. Demento CD… $18 200 feet of audio patch cable… $450 Signal Pirate Audio equipment… $530 Key to the supply closet… $2 The look on the PETA member’s faces as their convention opens to the tune of “Dead Puppies”… Priceless… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/9 "2001-01-31T21:52:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by broccoli! \* > \*\*The look on the PETA member’s faces as their convention opens to the tune of “Dead Puppies”… Priceless… \*\* Now THAT is funny! ---
**Author:** ![pythonzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@pythonzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pythonzzz)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/10 "2001-02-01T01:43:43Z")
Dead puppies aren’t much fun… They don’t come, when you call, They don’t chase squirrels at alllll… ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/11 "2001-02-01T17:05:57Z")
(with apologies to **Fenris** ) Black Cherry Jello, one box… $0.97 Medium Tupperware container… $4.80 Boiling water… $0.02 (gas for stove) Finding a new way to decorate for Halloween… Priceless… (Sorry to hear about your bad day, but you gotta admit it is kinda funny. Think of the “I’m so dumb” story you’ll have…) ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Silly\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/12 "2001-02-01T17:22:41Z")
**broccoli!**!! You’re warped!! I love you!! Don’t stop… these are great. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/13 "2001-02-02T03:28:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by broccoli! \* > \*\*(with apologies to **Fenris** ) > \ > > (Sorry to hear about your bad day, but you gotta admit it is kinda funny. Think of the “I’m so dumb” story you’ll have…) \*\* No prob. It _was_ funny in retrospect. And I got a few laughs at work retelling the incident, with the Foghorn Leghorn voice and everything. So it wasn’t all bad. I like this artform you’ve invented. Like Haiku meets Jackie Chan. Hope you don’t mind if I give it a try: How much this caller says he’s losing per minute without his computer…$200 What I’d have if I got a nickel for every time he said “Fuck you! I _know_ what’s wrong with my system”…$1.20 How much his computer knowledge is worth on the open market…$0.01 Suddenly realizing that he’s ignored my instructions and erased his hard drive…Priceless… Hmmm…too wordy. This is harder than it looks. Keep these coming **broccoli!** , they’re great. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/14 "2001-02-02T03:46:04Z")
Strip club cover charge - $20 7 rounds of drinks - $95 Paying to have a stripper go home with you - $100 Paying for sex with the stripper - $200 Sending the stripper on her way after sex and going to sleep without having to discuss your feelings - priceless ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/15 "2001-02-02T03:46:18Z")
Lighten up **Drain** , Jesus. Bottle of Zinc … $6.49 Perscription of Valium … $5 Trazodone … $5 Spending a week at Langley Porter? Priceless. and on another note Used Suit … $20 10 pairs of dress shoes … $100 Sign calling for impeaching Clinton and 12 zegatronic galaxies … $15 Wandering around SF for yeats like a fucking lunatic? … Priceless and Bridge toll on the Golden Gate … $ 3 Gas for the car … $10 Rope … $20 Hanging yourself from the most famous bridge in the world? … Priceless ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/16 "2001-02-02T04:43:49Z")
**Crunchy Frog** , I was thinking more on the lines of… Red leather ‘snakeskin’ jacket… $200 Cool shoes… $85 3-pack of condoms… $4.95 Cover for the club… $20 Three drinks to get’cha started… $12 Three drinks to get _her_ started… $12 Cab fare… $20 Realizing ‘she’ is a ‘he’ before things get too friendly and booting his ass out the cab in the middle of nowhere fast… Priceless… ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/17 "2001-02-02T04:47:38Z")
oooh! got another one! Bottle of vitamin B complex, 150mg… $5 Bottle of Aspirin… $3 16 oz. plastic cup… $1.50 Remembering to take two Aspirin, a B complex, and drink a huge glass of water before bed after a long night drinking… Priceless… (there are some things money just can’t buy, for everything else there’s the change in your couch cushions) ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/priceless/52553/18 "2001-02-03T03:08:30Z")
(this one is not funny, I just had to post it after a discussion) One way ticket to Memphis… $200 Ticket to Graceland, platinum tour… $25 Ninja suit… $60 Shovel… $20 Proof that the King is dead… Priceless… \