# Pro bono bullshit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 9, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132 "2010-09-09T02:43:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 43
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/841 "2010-09-23T01:54:22Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Well that proves it. Bricker is a liberal douche. I’ve made a note of that. Just in case. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/842 "2010-09-23T02:02:33Z")
> [@moejoe](#): > > > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > > > Fucking hell. Do you know I had to go \*look up \*what a god damned villanelle is? Okay, fine, here we go: > > > > \*\*Rand \*\*is a fucking tard > > To anyone that’s clear > > Being human is hard > > > > His mind a tub of lard > > Logic is nowhere near > > \*\*Rand \*\*is a fucking tard > > > > At those been dealt a card > > Of poverty he jeers > > Being human is hard > > > > His recollection scarred > > By chugging Everclear > > \*\*Rand \*\*is a fucking tard > > > > He could defend a ward > > Of state, his daughter’s peer > > Being human is hard > > > > He’d rather do the yard > > And cower home in fear > > \*\*Rand \*\*is a fucking tard > > Being human is hard > > > > What may seem to us > > to be self-evident– > > to those granted great power > > responsibility is also given– > > somehow elude this thing. > > (I shall not name him man > > for that implies a level of maturity > > that he has not attained.) > > We might wish to offer pity, > > but that would be neglectful > > of his own neglect > > of his own oaths, > > freely given. > > The benefit without the payment; > > A hoarder of justice. > > > > Obligations denied > > He claims it doesn’t count > > We can all see he lied > > > > Relentless as the tide > > \*\*Rand \*\*runs off at the mouth > > Obligations denied > > > > With any shyster tied > > In equivocation’s amount > > We can all see he lied > > > > Excuses, they have vied > > To overtop the mount > > Obligations denied > > > > How long can we abide > > The way we’re being wound? > > We can all see he lied > > > > His vows he’ll override > > With a juvenile pout > > Obligations denied > > We can all see he lied > > You know, (and I say this only because I’m quite sure it won’t bother you a bit) I’ve never really liked you. I have no idea why either, just didn’t. > > But this has completely changed my mind. > > I…I love you man. Man? No man has thighs like these (and believe me, I’ve checked): [ImageShack - Best place for all of your image hosting and image sharing needs](http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/169/anniebrackett.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/843 "2010-09-23T02:22:19Z")
Add creep to the list. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/844 "2010-09-23T02:29:40Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Add creep to the list. Done long ago. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/845 "2010-09-23T13:45:34Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Everyone I work with knows therezks no actual requirement to do pro bono, so I wouldn’t be telling them anything they don’t know. You really shouldn’t take SDMB liberal douche thinking as reflecting actual reality or the mainstream on any issue. This liberal douche thinks the \*real \*reason you won’t say anything is because you know they won’t agree with you, because you know down deep that you’re wrong, and because you’d rather be a whiny, passive-aggressive pussy than risk rattling the cage. And near as I can tell, this theory reflects actual reality and is pretty much the mainstream opinion on this issue. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/846 "2010-09-23T14:29:31Z")
Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/847 "2010-09-23T14:33:00Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > However, your repeated insistence of “BUT YOU PROMISED” sounds much more childish to me. 1.) Do you think a good parent makes promises and breaks them? 2.) The childish phrasing is \*your \*representation of our position. You’re a lawyer–if someone is prosecuted for breaking a contract, what is that but a grown-up version of “BUT YOU PROMISED”? > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Also, the email referenced in my OP shows that my firm recognizes that pro bono isn’t a requurement. There you go with that fucking strawman again. **Nobody here is saying it’s a requirement, in the sense that if you don’t do it there will be some concrete sanction.** It’s pissing me off so much that every time you continue to make that claim, I’m going to ask you if you’ve stoped raping your daughter yet. > [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Oh, and kudos to everyone here for the extremely high quality of the poetry, as well as the amazing restraint shown by the relative paucity of boner jokes. Shit, I \*knew \*I was forgetting something! > [@moejoe](#): > > You know, (and I say this only because I’m quite sure it won’t bother you a bit) I’ve never really liked you. I have no idea why either, just didn’t. Probably because I’m often arrogant and abrasive. > [@](#): > > But this has completely changed my mind. Huzzah! Better living through poetry. > [@](#): > > I…I love you man. Not a man. But I appreciate the sentiment. > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Man? No man has thighs like these (and believe me, I’ve checked) You’re fooling no one, **Rand**. Everyone can see that as soon as you saw that picture, you had your tongue jammed so far up my ass you could taste what I was still chewing. You didn’t start blustering about fat thighs until considerably after I’d cut you off at the knees. In fact, let’s use the magic of the internet to see exactly how hard you were slobbering: > [@Heeeeeeeeey FATTIES](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heeeeeeeeey-fatties/531465/215): > > Holy shit SfG, I had no idea you were a female person (and an attractive one based on one odd-angled costumed picture). > > I think I may be in love with you. > > How do you feel about liberal douches? Maybe we could get together and raise a horde of babies that are rude to fatties and liberal douches on the internet. (I’m married, and olygamy is not yet legal in my state, but I’m sure we can find a way to make it work). > [@Heeeeeeeeey FATTIES](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heeeeeeeeey-fatties/531465/388): > > Nah, for me it was the personality–the pic was just icing on the cake. And then after I unequivocably expressed that the very idea of you being attracted to me was nauseous, you launched into further pleading: > [@Heeeeeeeeey FATTIES](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heeeeeeeeey-fatties/531465/647): > > ☹ > > Don’t you realize we are two peas in the very same pod? You yell at and about fatties who whine without taking personal responsibility, and I yell at and about poor people who whine without taking personal responsibility. People think you hate fatties just for being fatties, and they think I hate poor people just for being poor. > > We should join together for the greater good of humanity! We could find whiny irresponsible poor fatties and give them a double dose of dis pimpin’! ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/848 "2010-09-23T14:41:26Z")
Sfg, you still haven’t shown how I promised to do pro bono. Therefore, I have no obligation to do pro bono. I can do it if I want to or not do it if I don’t want to, and either course of actin is perfectly OK. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/849 "2010-09-23T14:44:58Z")
Randy, you still haven’t addressed how butthurt you were from Sfg. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/850 "2010-09-23T14:49:18Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Sfg, you still haven’t shown how I promised to do pro bono. Therefore, I have no obligation to do pro bono. I can do it if I want to or not do it if I don’t want to, and either course of actin is perfectly OK. You might as well just start posting “I know you are, but what am I?” It has about the same level of substance and maturity. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/851 "2010-09-23T15:21:27Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > > > Sfg, you still haven’t shown how I promised to do pro bono. Therefore, I have no obligation to do pro bono. I can do it if I want to or not do it if I don’t want to, and either course of actin is perfectly OK. > > You might as well just start posting “I know you are, but what am I?” It has about the same level of substance and maturity. What about the people who keep insiting that I have an obligation without actually demonstrating how? That has less substance even. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/852 "2010-09-23T15:21:36Z")
“I know you are, but what am I?” at least has a certain panache. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/853 "2010-09-23T15:34:28Z")
More familiar to lawyers as _teneo quisnam vos es, quod quis sum Ego_\*… \*\* Brought to you via five minutes of Googling - for entertainment purposes only\* ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/854 "2010-09-23T15:39:37Z")
_Ego sum purgamentum quod vos es gluten._ ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/855 "2010-09-23T16:11:34Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > What about the people who keep insiting that I have an obligation without actually demonstrating how? That has less substance even. A number of people have been patiently trying to help you understand what an obligation actually is, on a non-childish level. Your refusal to pay attention is no one else’s problem. Hell, even **Bricker** , hyperliteralist that he is, understands the concept and has been trying to help you. But then there are also those of us who just enjoy laughing at you. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/856 "2010-09-23T16:35:19Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > A number of people have been patiently trying to help you understand what an obligation actually is, on a non-childish level. Your refusal to pay attention is no one else’s problem. > … > But then there are also those of us who just enjoy laughing at you. Can’t I be in both camps? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/857 "2010-09-23T16:38:12Z")
E, you are simply still showing that you aren’t able to follow the conversation. Bricker was arguing that the rules require a lawyer to aspire to do pro bono. Sfg was arguing that I promised to do pro bono and it doesn’t matter what the rules require. I’ve responded to both of their arguments, and they haven’t addressed my responses. Other posters are saying I have the obligation to do pro bono without specifying what they are arguing exactly. So, no one is “patiently explaining” anything to me. They are either making crappy arguments that I easily shot down or just making bare assertions. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/858 "2010-09-23T16:41:10Z")
I guess when you’re a legend in your own mind all of that impotent flailing and whining looks like shooting down arguments… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/859 "2010-09-23T16:51:49Z")
Page 22. He’s still got it. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/860 "2010-09-23T16:58:25Z")
Does he have it, or does it have him? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132.md?page=42) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132.md?page=44)