# Pro bono bullshit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 9, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132 "2010-09-09T02:43:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 70
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1381 "2010-10-08T14:38:32Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > We’re only trying to teach a pig to sing at this point, though. Except that, contrary to Mark Twain’s teachings, the pig appears to be enjoying it. Witness his continued sociopathic insistence that the term “moral obligation” has no actual meaning. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1382 "2010-10-08T14:44:29Z")
Hey Rand Rover I’m sorry your prestigious job at a legal firm forces you to help those poor unfortunates who didn’t have all the systemic advantages you had throughout your education. It sucks having to talk to those damn poor people who couldn’t pull themselves up by the family bootstraps, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1383 "2010-10-08T14:46:49Z")
Oh, wait, that’s not what I meant to say. Sorry. My actual post should’ve been the following: **Go get lost in a hurricane and never heard from again** \*\*, you elitist piece of shit.\*\* My apologies for any confusion this might have caused. ---
**Author:** ![Any\_Other\_Name](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Any\_Other\_Name](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Any_Other_Name)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1384 "2010-10-08T15:00:43Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > M–if you think that spotting an ambiguity in a question is weaselling, then so be it. You’re looking pretty stupid here though. You’ve participated in 28 pages of a thread to defend that you have no obligation or responsibility to provide services pro bono, and you can say with a straight face that another poster is looking stupid here? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1385 "2010-10-08T15:01:30Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > **Go get lost in a hurricane and never heard from again** I sent a cease and desist fax to a rogue collection agency operating out of New Orleans. The next day Katrina struck, and the collection agency was never heard from again. It was then I realized that lawyers are gods who have the power to control the weather, and of course have no moral obligation to mere mortals. ---
**Author:** ![Any\_Other\_Name](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Any\_Other\_Name](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Any_Other_Name)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1386 "2010-10-08T15:05:42Z")
From your OP: > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > So one of the senior partners in my section sent around an email today reminding everyone of the firm’s goal of having every lawyer work 20 pro bono hours each year. Apparently our section wasn’t doing so hot compared to the rest of the firm. So honestly, grow a pair. Next time a senior partner sends out an email about pro bono, respond by email. Copy the entire firm. Tell him/her you have NO responsibility or obligation to do pro bono work. Include a link to this thread. Stand behind the strength of your convictions. Certainly your arguments here will sway him to your point of view. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1387 "2010-10-08T15:20:56Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Apparently our section wasn’t doing so hot compared to the rest of the firm. Which means that either the rest of the section is doing OK but being dragged down by RR, or there is a nest of RRs scurrying about in his section. Ever watch the movie [Them!](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-828076470184247942#) – I wonder how far RR’s office is from Chicago Pile-1? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1388 "2010-10-08T15:22:41Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > I think people just don’t like SFG dragging your daughter into this, not because anyone disagrees with what SFG is saying. Here’s what I don’t get: my ridiculous accusations against \*\*Rand \*\*in no way reflect poorly on his daughter, unless you’re the kind of person who thinks a rape victim is in some way responsible for the crime committed against them. Raping your toddler makes \*you \*a bad person; it doesn’t say anything about the kind of person the kid is. > [@elucidator](#): > > Its that part of a walk that precedes the amble, which may or may not proceed to strolling. If we’re really lucky, we may even approach a saunter. > [@Muffin](#): > > I sent a cease and desist fax to a rogue collection agency operating out of New Orleans. The next day Katrina struck, and the collection agency was never heard from again. It was then I realized that lawyers are gods who have the power to control the weather, and of course have no moral obligation to mere mortals. Psh. The \*correct \*conslusion was \*clearly \*that the PTB disapprove of rogue collection agencies and desire to see them wiped from the face of the earth. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1389 "2010-10-08T15:28:59Z")
> [@Any\_Other\_Name](#): > > From your OP: > > > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > > > So one of the senior partners in my section sent around an email today reminding everyone of the firm’s goal of having every lawyer work 20 pro bono hours each year. Apparently our section wasn’t doing so hot compared to the rest of the firm. > > So honestly, grow a pair. Next time a senior partner sends out an email about pro bono, respond by email. Copy the entire firm. Tell him/her you have NO responsibility or obligation to do pro bono work. Include a link to this thread. > > Stand behind the strength of your convictions. Certainly your arguments here will sway him to your point of view. But… this would make him publicly identifiable as an asshole. By bitching about his firm’s decision semi-anonymously on the internet, he maintains a public fiction of not being a contemptible fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1390 "2010-10-08T16:07:08Z")
I love to see you guys flail about. You get so pissy when you can’t get your way. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1391 "2010-10-08T16:13:10Z")
> [@Any\_Other\_Name](#): > > You’ve participated in 28 pages of a thread to defend that you have no obligation or responsibility to provide services pro bono, and you can say with a straight face that another poster is looking stupid here? How may hours has **Rand Rover** spent on this thread? Let me know when we’re up to 20 so I can quit poking him with a stick. ETA: Get back to work **RR** , you glorious bastard! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1392 "2010-10-08T16:23:10Z")
Poking him with a stick? I think you mean feeding him carrots. 😉 I’d be happy just to know which client is being billed for his SDMB hours. The senior partners (who are among those many of us out here in the hive mind of society with no concept of the meaning of “moral obligation”) might want to know about that, too. > [@Randy](#): > > You get so pissy when you can’t get your way. Says the guy who’s proud of getting his way in regard to his bosses’ instructions. 😉 So far. Not for long, though, I’d wager. Meanwhile, shine on, you crazy diamond. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1393 "2010-10-08T16:35:19Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I love to see you guys flail about. You get so pissy when you can’t get your way. Is EXACTLY what your “Reply All” response to your employer’s email should say. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1394 "2010-10-08T16:37:25Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I love to see you guys flail about. You get so pissy when you can’t get your way. Yes, having my way with you would be to know your real name and real firm, so I could forward this entire thread to the senior partner you’re pitting in so cowardly a fashion here. But since you insist on bitching to us rather than to the source of your frustration, we have little recourse but to get pissy with you. I suppose we could forward this thread to the Illinois Bar Association, and ask them to look into your complaint for you, in hopes of getting some meaningful responses, i.e. responses that have some real life consequences for you, which you might feel bound to honor. Would that be okay with you, either to tell us your real law firm, or to authorize our contacting the Illinois Bar Association for a ruling, since you have zero respect for anyone who doesn’t actually wield power over you, you cowardly shit? If not, mind explaining why it wouldn’t be okay? After all, you’re proud of the position you’re taking, aren’t you? Hello? Hello? Is this thing ON? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1395 "2010-10-08T16:39:34Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > But… this would make him publicly identifiable as an asshole. I’m gonna take a wild stab and say this is already one of his office’s worst-kept secrets. There’s only so much concealment a pair of Clark Kent glasses can offer. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1396 "2010-10-08T16:48:40Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > > > I love to see you guys flail about. You get so pissy when you can’t get your way. > > Is EXACTLY what your “Reply All” response to your employer’s email should say. A much better answer than mine. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1397 "2010-10-08T17:02:58Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > > > But… this would make him publicly identifiable as an asshole. > > I’m gonna take a wild stab and say this is already one of his office’s worst-kept secrets. There’s only so much concealment a pair of Clark Kent glasses can offer. Especially since most lawyers, in my experience, actually _enjoy_ their pro bono work, and talk about it rather freely. So **Rand Rover’s** cover would be blown pretty quickly: Coworker: Hey, I spent last weekend judging a moot court competition for high school students - those kids are nuts! I think one of them is going to the national competition. Coworker 2: Sweet! Yah, I did the tax law clinic on Saturday - they brought in free falafel for the volunteers. Coworker: Damnit, we only got donuts at our thing. **Rand** , what’d they feed you? **Rand Rover** : _crickets chirp_ ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1398 "2010-10-08T17:16:19Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I love to see you guys flail about. You get so pissy when you can’t get your way. You’re a horrible elitist fuck who doesn’t deserve the benefits he gets from the social contract. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1399 "2010-10-08T18:05:40Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I love to see you guys flail about. You get so pissy when you can’t get your way. Says the guy who’s whining that someone senior to him in his organization dared to remind him that he has a responsibility both as a member of his profession and an employee of his firm. It’s my firm and sincere wish that someday soon you will grow up and spend the time you would otherwise be posting reviewing every single thing you’ve ever said here and weeping in obscene embarassment. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132/1400 "2010-10-08T18:11:15Z")
Wole lotta butthurt in here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132.md?page=69) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-bono-bullshit/553132.md?page=71)