# Pro-choice man must decide whether his pro-life wife has an abortion or dies. What should he do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275 "2010-12-15T20:03:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![InterestedObserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@InterestedObserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InterestedObserver)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275/101 "2010-12-19T20:12:23Z")
He should allow the termination to save the life of his wife and the mother of their children. I know it is part of the “hypothetical” situation, but I seriously doubt the choice would be his to make regardless…she is unconscious, has left no advance directive, and will die unless the surgery is performed. I can’t think of a scenario in which a Dr. would need permission from the spouse or anyone else, under those circumstances, to do what she/he is bound to do and save the life of the patient. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275/102 "2010-12-20T23:04:12Z")
> [@InterestedObserver](#): > > I know it is part of the “hypothetical” situation, but I seriously doubt the choice would be his to make regardless… Why did you put _hypothetical_ in question marks? ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275/103 "2010-12-20T23:27:50Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Why did you put _hypothetical_ in question marks? Because we all know you are in fact Wash, miraculously surviving your injuries in the film, and that you are trying to decide what to do about Zoe’s situation. I commend you for coming here to help make your decision. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275/104 "2010-12-20T23:29:03Z")
> [@Peeta\_Mellark](#): > > Because we all know you are in fact Wash, miraculously surviving your injuries in the film, and that you are trying to decide what to do about Zoe’s situation. I commend you for coming here to help make your decision. :: works action on shotgun :: You didn’t mean to imply that I was on the side of the good guys, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275/105 "2010-12-20T23:30:46Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > :: works action on shotgun :: > > You didn’t mean to imply that I was on the side of the good guys, did you? Of course not. I meant to imply you’re undead. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275/106 "2010-12-20T23:33:03Z")
> [@Peeta\_Mellark](#): > > Of course not. I meant to imply you’re undead. Fool of a Browncoat! Everybody knows vampires cannot father children! ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275/107 "2010-12-21T22:23:14Z")
I’m very pro-choice. My wife is fairly neutral. She doesn’t have an issue with any other woman having an abortion, but would feel it would be wrong for her to have one. When we were discussing possibly having kids early on when our relationship got serious she asked me this exact question. I told her in that instance she didn’t have a vote. She lives. Period. Full stop. She asked, “But what about all the time and thought we put into the kid, all the dreams we would have started for him or her, etc.” I said, “That’s all hypothetical until the kid is actually in the room. There’s nothing hypothetical about my love for you. If the fetus needs to die, I need to die or that guy over there on the other side of the room nursing a beer needs to die so that you live, then that’s what’s happening.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pro-choice-man-must-decide-whether-his-pro-life-wife-has-an-abortion-or-dies-what-should-he-do/564275.md?page=5)