# Produce the SILMARILLION trilogy (or miniseries) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** middle-earth\ **Created:** [June 19, 2011, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040 "2011-06-19T16:07:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/61 "2011-06-23T01:13:29Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > “Remember Fiiiiinwe?” > > I’m insanely jealous! It was one of her three or four final Farewell concert tours. Wonderful! I’m trying to work up a joke about Turin meeting the only woman in his life who wasn’t his aunt, but I’m not quite getting it… ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/62 "2011-06-23T01:32:20Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > I’m trying to work up a joke about Turin meeting the only woman in his life who wasn’t his aunt, but I’m not quite getting it… That would appear to be a structural problem with the source material, considering… ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/63 "2011-06-23T15:16:11Z")
[QUOTE=BrotherCadfael] I’m trying to work up a joke about Turin meeting the only woman in his life who wasn’t his aunt, but I’m not quite getting it… [/QUOTE] I noticed that Turin changed his name every time he moved to a new venue, and each of his names “meant” something in either elven, or some old mannish tongue. So, here he is introducing himself to some new hill chieftain (that he will eventually displace): Chief: What is your name, stranger? What do we call you? Turin: I am… uhh… podsfjos… which means “friend slayer” in elven. Chief: ??!? Turin: alright, how about udhfvidf, “He whom doom follows”? Chief: Uhh… doom? Turin: “Sister buggerer”? Chief: Are you sure you want to live here? Look, I hear there’s a fine, secluded valley only a weeks march to the west… ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/64 "2011-06-23T20:18:44Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > All the characters can be part of the same high school! Except Luthien. She goes to a different school, which is what really drives the romantic tension. Hahaha, I can just see Morgoth now with his dark emo black hair and baggy pants. Well, despite **Skald** ’s obvious disapprobation I think this idea might have legs… Would you have the Valar as teachers? They’d teach different subjects… which would fit with the idea of each only understanding part of the mind of Ilúvatar… ohh… would that make Ilúvatar the principal? And perhaps the Maiar as seniors / upperclassmen… at first I thought the Valar would be the school choir for obvious reasons, but teachers might work better… and the teachers and students would all have super-powers… it would end up a bit like [Gakuen Alice](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gakuen_Alice)the more I think about it… ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/65 "2011-06-23T20:22:11Z")
Ugh. Glee, the Silmarillion Edition. No thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/66 "2011-06-23T22:13:32Z")
Just to be clear on the motivations of this thread: Are we intentionally trying to give **Skald** aneurisms, or is that just a side effect? Maybe this should become a standard method for dealing with supervillains. Much safer than trying to invade a volcanic lair. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/67 "2011-06-23T22:22:23Z")
Ooh! Magical Girl Luthien! Bishonen Beren! And everyone’s a chibi! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/68 "2011-06-23T22:24:29Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Just to be clear on the motivations of this thread: Are we intentionally trying to give **Skald** aneurisms, or is that just a side effect? I have taken the precaution of installing a small anti-matter bomb in – well, it’s not necessary to specify the city, is it? – set to go off when I die and/or when Ann Coulter appears nude in _Playboy_. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/69 "2011-06-23T23:41:20Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Ooh! Magical Girl Luthien! Bishonen Beren! And everyone’s a chibi! SQUEE!! (I believe that’s the officially-mandated response, right?) ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/70 "2011-06-24T02:29:52Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Except Luthien. She goes to a different school, which is what really drives the romantic tension. Hahaha, I can just see Morgoth now with his dark emo black hair and baggy pants. This is more or less the story told in [Sauron’s Blog](http://www.sauronsblog.com/). Read it from the [beginning](http://www.sauronsblog.com/?p=3). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040/71 "2011-06-24T21:33:45Z")
> [@](#): > > I have taken the precaution of installing a small anti-matter bomb in – well, it’s not necessary to specify the city, is it? I’d say it’s necessary. If, say, it’s in Los Angeles, then it might be time to start sending the photographers over to Coulter’s place. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/produce-the-silmarillion-trilogy-or-miniseries/586040.md?page=3)