# Product/Company Aliases **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 14, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865 "2000-10-14T02:38:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/1 "2000-10-14T02:38:21Z")
We all make up aliases for products and companies (don’t we?). I have some favorites that I always use instead of the real names. Among them: Virginia Slims = Vagina Slimes Harris Teeter (grocery store) = Hairy Tweeter First Citizen Bank = First Criminal News & Observer = News & Disturber Anybody else got any favorites they’d like to share? ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/2 "2000-10-14T02:50:42Z")
For me, Harris Teeter is the Teeter Totter. JCPenney is Jacque’s and ya know…what with the strep and the antibiotics…I can’t think of anymore…though I know I do it. ---
**Author:** ![User\_10K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@User\_10K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/User_10K)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/3 "2000-10-14T03:21:34Z")
We pronounce chimichangas like a Russian word: chamichkas ---
**Author:** ![Baglady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Baglady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baglady)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/4 "2000-10-14T04:19:56Z")
Home Depot = Home Despot Burger King = Booger King Kinko’s = Kinky’s ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/5 "2000-10-14T04:59:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lsura \* > \*\*and ya know…what with the strep and the antibiotics…I can’t think of anymore…though I know I do it. \*\* I feel your pain. I’ve got the strep too. I’m in a wedding tomorrow, and the little bottle of Chloraseptic I brought to the rehearsal today drew big laffs. I didn’t laugh though; I can’t. Actually I can barely swallow. I call 7Eleven Slev. Taco Bell is Taco Hell. Pepsi Cola is Peppi cola, while 7up is 11 up (another 7Eleven reference. Must be the work of the illuminati.) ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/6 "2000-10-14T05:04:21Z")
Taco Bell = Taco Hell Pizza Hut = Pizza Slut Pizza Ranch = Pizza Snatch Hardee’s = Hard-on’s Kum & Go (Convenience store chain in the midwest) = Jerk & Squirt, Jizz & Leave, Ejaculate & Evacuate ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/7 "2000-10-14T06:48:42Z")
Taco Bell= Taco Hell (mentioned earlier) Safeway= DangerWay Schmidt Beer= Animal Brew (for the animals on the 12-pack cardboard and for the quality of the beer) America Online= Amerika Offline And a few Seattle-area-specific references: Rainier Beer= Reindeer Beer Dick’s Drive-In (cheap/popular burger chain)= Chez Richard’s QFC (“Quality Food Center”)= QuickFuck Boeing= The Lazy B (for its tendency to foster slothful workers) (this is a very common reference, not just mine) Microsoft= The Evil Empire (I think this one’s the most common of them all) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/8 "2000-10-14T15:03:26Z")
Back in New England … Shop ‘n’ Save = Shoplift ‘n’ Save. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/9 "2000-10-14T15:04:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mishell \* > \*\*Kum & Go (Convenience store chain in the midwest) = Jerk & Squirt, Jizz & Leave, Ejaculate & Evacuate > \*\* Kum & Go is hilarious enough for a company name, and the others you have ‘kum’ up with are funnier yet. Is there really a store called Kum & Go? Too funny. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/10 "2000-10-14T15:39:47Z")
hmmm. we do Taco Bell = Tacky Bell Burger Kings et al = Burger Whop Target = tar-jay’ local newspaper State Journal = Stale Journal (clever, aren’t we?) ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/11 "2000-10-14T16:50:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xizor \* > Is there really a store called Kum & Go? Too funny. \*\* Aye…there is, I worked there for 4 years. [http://www.kumandgo.com](http://www.kumandgo.com) ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/12 "2000-10-16T14:01:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > \*\*Target = tar-jay’ > \*\* Ah yes, the faux frenchinizing of a name. This is also a running gag in my family. The other one we do often is ‘JC pen-NAY’ ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/13 "2000-10-16T15:59:24Z")
Montgomery Ward = Monkey Ward McDonald’s = Mac’s Supper Club Hardee’s = Har-DAY’S Also, near our house is a gas station/convenience store with signs above the windows telling what it sells: CHICKEN DONUTS DELI etc. We call it the Chicken Donuts place. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/14 "2000-10-16T16:57:33Z")
7 Eleven = Eighteen Kroger = The Kroj or K-Roger K Mart = Kmart (rhymes with Smart) Courier-Journal = Curious-Journal King’s Daughter’s Hospital = King’s Slaughters ---
**Author:** ![Gabz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/838e76/32.png) [@Gabz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gabz)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/15 "2000-10-16T17:18:05Z")
America On Line - A-O-hell ACME (supermarket) - ASK-ME (they rearrange the aisles about one a month) ---
**Author:** ![Gabz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/838e76/32.png) [@Gabz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gabz)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/16 "2000-10-16T17:20:41Z")
America On Line - A-O-hell ACME (supermarket) - ASK-ME (they rearrange the aisles about one a month) Delaware State News (local paper) The SNOOZE ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/17 "2000-10-16T17:44:18Z")
A bunch of people do the Tar-Jay thing, and amongst my friends, McDonald’s is Chez Clown. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/18 "2000-10-16T17:59:18Z")
Local Small Town Newspaper: The Enterprise = The _Empty_prise Standard: Target = Tar-'zhay Taco Bell = Taco Hell And around here, where family owned stores have been bought and renamed by major chains in succumbing to urban sprawl, virtually everything is refered to by its old departed name, confusing all the new transplants. Its truely amazing how many people know that when you say “Pride” you mean the Phillips 76 station on the corner…it hasn’t been named Pride for at least 12 years. _You know when I started this reply it seemed like I had so many more crude and funny ones…_ ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/19 "2000-10-16T18:01:38Z")
One more from college: Parliment Cigarettes = P-Funks ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865/20 "2000-10-16T18:03:05Z")
Another College one: Milwaukee’s Best Beer = The Beast [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-company-aliases/36865.md?page=2)