# Product Descriptions that Make you go Whaaaaaa? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2020, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259 "2020-12-05T02:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/1 "2020-12-05T02:54:13Z")
So a friend shared this with me, and now, I must share this with you. As it is the season for shopping, you too may find wonderful, possibly thrice translated or otherwise amusingly inaccurate product descriptions you may want to share. [https://www.walmart.com/ip/Round-Iron-Korean-BBQ-Grill-Plate-Barbecue-Non-stick-Pan-Set-with-Holder-Set/260364259?athcpid=260364259&athpgid=athenaItemPage&athcgid=null&athznid=PWVAV&athieid=v0&athstid=CS004&athguid=b1fc44a4-007-1762b496d98b67&athancid=null&athena=true](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Round-Iron-Korean-BBQ-Grill-Plate-Barbecue-Non-stick-Pan-Set-with-Holder-Set/260364259?athcpid=260364259&athpgid=athenaItemPage&athcgid=null&athznid=PWVAV&athieid=v0&athstid=CS004&athguid=b1fc44a4-007-1762b496d98b67&athancid=null&athena=true) If you don’t want to read the description, here’s the part that makes you want to go whaaaaa? \* Manual measurement, please allow 0 ~ 2489cm error, thank you. For those who don’t think in metric, that means the measurement error is between 0 - 81.6 feet. That’s going to be hard to plan for in your kitchen! ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/2 "2020-12-05T05:16:38Z")
I see where it say what you posted, but just above that it says “Please allow 1-3cm error due to manual measurement and make sure you do not mind before ordering.” Maybe the part you posted was supposed to be MM, not CM? But even then it’s not too sensible. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/3 "2020-12-05T05:24:38Z")
It’s got 3 sections where it describes the “manual measurement error”. The first in the product headlight where it has the Whaaaa? measurements, the second is the one you mention under ‘features’ and then the third, in the bulleted list further down in features repeats the first. And yes, even in mm that is a silly amount of variance. ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/4 "2020-12-05T14:32:44Z")
The whole description doesn’t make sense… ### Product Highlights - Best price, Easy transaction, Excellent buying experience. - Manual measurement, please allow 0 ~ 2489cm error, thank you. - A great and economical way to clean or decorate your room. - Low carbon, Environmental protection, No pollution and durable. - Due to I would think a product highlight does not include the buying experience. The “thank you” at the end of the manual measurement doesn’t make sense. Does a grill “clean or decorate your room”? “No pollution and durable”. Is that no pollution and no durable? And pollution and durable doesn’t fit. “Due to”… what? ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/5 "2020-12-05T15:16:12Z")
> [@Author\_Balk](#): > > Due to”… what? You need to click where it says “See more info” on the line below. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/6 "2020-12-05T18:23:19Z")
We have a container of Kirkland brand Himalayan pink salt. There’s a paragraph of marketing-style description on the label that starts out “Referred to as the purest salt in the world…” and ends by saying the pink color is due to the salt’s “…rich and varying mineral content.” Uh, whaaaa? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2020, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/7 "2020-12-05T20:46:18Z")
> [@solost](#): > > … > "Referred to as the purest salt in the world…” and ends by saying the pink color is due to the salt’s “…rich and varying mineral content.” Uh, whaaaa? Woo is as woo does. It is not our place to question the power of woo. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2020, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/8 "2020-12-06T03:23:21Z")
> [@solost](#): > > We have a container of Kirkland brand Himalayan pink salt. There’s a paragraph of marketing-style description on the label that starts out “Referred to as the purest salt in the world…” and ends by saying the pink color is due to the salt’s “…rich and varying mineral content.” Uh, whaaaa? Never get that type of pink Himalayan salt - it’s not certified non-GMO like other brands. By the way, the “rich and varied mineral content” includes contaminants like mercury, arsenic, thallium and lead, plus radioactive goodies like plutonium. Yum! > **[Pink Himalayan Sea Salt: An Update](https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/pink-himalayan-sea-salt-an-update/)** > > The claims of health benefits from pink Himalayan sea salt are not supported by a shred of evidence. In fact, its vaunted “84 trace minerals and elements” include several poisons and many radioact ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2020, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/9 "2020-12-06T15:33:48Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > By the way, the “rich and varied mineral content” includes contaminants like mercury, arsenic, thallium and lead, plus radioactive goodies like plutonium. Yum! Damn, thanks for the heads-up on that. No more pink salt for this household. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2020, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/10 "2020-12-06T18:48:52Z")
Along the same lines as the non-GMO salt, I’ve always been amused by how Trader Joe’s pickles used to say “no preservatives” on the label.\* I thought the whole point of pickling things was to preserve them. \*Apparently they no longer do; at least the ones in my fridge don’t. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2020, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/11 "2020-12-06T19:54:31Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > … Trader Joe’s pickles used to say “no preservatives” on the label.\* … What they mean (meant?) is no icky scary _chemical_ preservatives. We just use good old CH3COOH and NaCl. No chemicals there. Here, try the two buck Chuck made with gawd knows how much artificial crappola in it. It’ll take your mind off those scary _scary_ preservatives. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2020, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/12 "2020-12-07T01:00:55Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Here, try the two buck Chuck made with gawd knows how much artificial crappola in it. Maybe, but I’d bet it’s no worse on that score than much more expensive wines. Besides, Trader Joe’s is now offering _organic_ Charles Shaw wines. And they say all of the Chucks are non-GMO, so you don’t have to worry about those nasty, nonexistent genetically modified grapes. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2020, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/13 "2020-12-07T18:41:08Z")
> [@Author\_Balk](#): > > Does a grill “clean or decorate your room”? Yes, in a great and economical way. Says so right there in the ad copy. ---
**Author:** ![Courk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Courk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Courk)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2020, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/product-descriptions-that-make-you-go-whaaaaaa/927259/14 "2020-12-07T23:22:03Z")
The portion in spoiler tags is not what I expected to see. I thought it’d be the name of the product. Try saying it out loud. All together now, “Round Iron Korean BBQ Grill Plate Barbecue Non-stick Pan Set with Holder Set”