Well, since my first picks of Zig-zags and EZ-Whip have already been taken, I’m going to have to skate out of this one with “Graffix Bongs”…
Coil vibrator muscle massagers. DO NOT USE ON OR NEAR GENITALS.
Gee, Rue, if you are in an approved manor, I’m sure you’re quite comfortable…
A humorless reply.
I can’t believe that I always dumped a capful of bleach in my dishwater when washing dishes.
Ever read the lable of most dishwashing liquids? “Don’t mix with bleach.”
It contains ammonia, which makes a fairly nasty gas when you add bleach.
Nobody ever reads the lable.
Nobody has mentioned the most abused product line in the U.S., over the counter drugs. Who hasn’t taken 2 instead 3 pain relievers to get rid of a headache or wait 6 instead of 8 hours till you take your next dose of a cold pill?
Water pipes. Use for tobacco only.
Refer to them as “bongs”, and suddenly they’re illegal (at least is California). Now, I wonder how many “water pipes” are used for tabacco, as opposed to how many of them are the illegal bongs.
When I was in college in the early 70s I had a water pipe which I did use to smoke tobacco (I also smoked a pipe and the occasional cigar, but never really got into smoking cigarettes). Every so often one of my friends would borrow my water pipe; I didn’t mind lending it out, because it always came back thoroughly cleaned out.
Wait…you don’t suppose that my friends were using it to smoke illegal substances???
Oh, the shame, the horror… 
Q-Tips are probably #1, and over-the-counter drugs are probably #2, but #3, without question, is charcoal-briquet lighter fluid. The instructions say, essentially, “Open cap and show container to stack of briquets. Wave hand above open container to transfer two micrograms of vapor to briquets.” Whereas in real life we just upend that bastard and squirt until there’s a puddle in the bottom of the grill.
Napster and other file-sharing systems. They are not for sharing copyrighted material.
This shows what a rule-follower I am. Before I opened the thread, my biggest idea was the fact that most people probably don’t test an area and then wait 24 hours before using Nair or highlighter or stuff like that.
You guys really live on the edge!
First thing I thought of was insecticides.
You can’t use them on an insect if it doesn’t say on the label that it can be used to kill that insect. Even if it does, in fact, kill that insect.
Furthermore, if you read the label on a can of insecticide, you will discover it is a Federal offense to use that product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Thus, when you kill a wasp with cockroach spray, you become a candidate for prosecution by the Feddle Gummint.
And I’m telling.
Q-Tips in the ears! :eek:
What’s wrong with you people? Why would you use something soft and fluffy, when a bobbie pin works soooooo much better?
And … it…feeeeeeeeels…soooo…GOOOOOOOD!
[[orgasmic shudder]]
I never use Qtips inside my ears-I’ve tried, and oh my god, it bloody HURTS!!!
I prefer to just have the doctor flush them out if they get bad.
I always thought that “may act adversely with alcohol” was more of a serving suggestion, anyway;)
Personally, my most misused product is my bottle of Thai Kitchen lemongrass salad splash. Sure, they may say it’s for salad or vegetables, but if you mix enough of it into a bowl of soup, you can turn Campbell’s into a passable imitation of Thai noodle soup.
Mustard Oil is sold as “not for human consumption”, but humans do consume it. I guess you could use it for massaging or something, but really it is a cooking oil.
Similar thing with file powder - “not for consumption” (in Canada at least), but it doesn’t have any other purpose.
Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. The sandpaper thing is now on the BACK of the matchbook. Darn it.
Hello Kitty neck massager.
Screwdrivers. C’mon, fess up. How many people never use them to pry open paint cans and the like?
Tang.
Or any kind of powdered drink mix.
Do you ever actually mix the recommended amount of powder with the recommended amount of water? It’s approximately half as much powder as you need to use to make the drink actually TASTE like anything. If you follow what they say, you’re going to have a flavorless concoction with a pronounced orange tint, that’s all.