# Profanity: What are the best five unusual curses, (cuss-words)? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 14, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989 "2003-02-14T03:15:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![pZott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pZott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pZott)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/61 "2003-02-18T20:56:01Z")
I think **fuckwit** is great. Other faves are **butt-munch** and **ass-bite**. My all-time favorite (for now) has got to be **ass-clown**. The only problem I have with that one is, I find it SO funny that any time I want to use it I end up busting out laughing. (But since that usually cures me of whatever I was mad about, maybe that still makes it a good one.) And come on, guys, I **can’t believe** nobody has mentioned the unmentionable, that most appropriate of inappropriate curses, I shudder even to offer it, – wait for it!! – _ **BARBRA STREISAND!!!** _ 🙂 :: D&R :: ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/62 "2003-02-18T21:31:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Incubus \* > \*\* > > \ > > My friend and I also established our own lignuistic rules for expletives. For example, we consider it a no-no to say “That is a big ass fucking bruise” because it implies ass fucking, while individually “big ass” can mean really big and “fucking” can mean “very/really/extremely” but the two combined together don’t work. \*\* Actually… 1. [big ass] + [fucking] + [bruise] = BIG ass FUCKing BRUISE has a completely different stress pattern (and interpretation) than 1. [big] + [ass fucking] + [bruise] = BIG ASS fucking BRUISE With the first case, you get a primary stress on big and a secondary stress on ass (English generally assigns a primary stress on the first element of a compound noun/phrase i.e. White House [primary + secondary] vs. white house [primary + primary]) and primary stresses on fucking and bruise. With the second case, you get a primary stress on big, a primary stress on ass, a secondary stress on fucking (the second element of the phrase ‘ass fucking’), and a primary on bruise Only case 2 implies any sort of backdoor lovin’. As for myself, I prefer a hearty **God Damn** but have been known to dabble with **Christ on a pony** and **ass-munching cum-dribbler**. ---
**Author:** ![coyasicanbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bcef8e/32.png) [@coyasicanbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coyasicanbe)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/63 "2003-02-18T21:38:46Z")
Fucknoodle. Twenty-four inch double-dong. Both taste best when served out a car window shortly after being cut off. ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/64 "2003-02-18T21:42:22Z")
Slot off Frag-Face!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/65 "2003-02-18T21:47:59Z")
I am partial to “fish-faced enemy of the people”. (Zero Mostel in _The Producers_). “Conshohocken” is good too. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/66 "2003-02-18T22:04:56Z")
Clusterfuck. 'Tis my word of choice for days like today. ---
**Author:** ![jesseboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90ced4/32.png) [@jesseboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesseboy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/67 "2003-02-18T23:55:06Z")
i love assclown too!. i have seen a porno called ‘Ass Clowns’!. it has girls dressed up with red clown noses and face paint while getting jizzed on. the makers proclaimed that ‘it’s some funny shit to jerk off to’. personally, i think annexing ‘clown’ onto simple expletives is going to be the future of clever curse words. for example, how about DOUCHE-CLOWN? or u might wish to refer to a ditzy little slut as a Cum-clown. ---
**Author:** ![alibey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@alibey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alibey)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/68 "2003-02-19T00:26:10Z")
bullshittie-da something I learned in Korea. “$10 for a beer!!! BULLSHITTIE-DA!!!” ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/69 "2003-02-19T00:38:42Z")
1. Fuckpig 2. paedohomonecrophile - work out what it means 3. Ass clown 4. Vegan! 5. Nobulon the third (dont ask, it was made up by a friend and i, and we’ve found it funny since) ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/70 "2003-02-19T01:43:26Z")
These might not count, because they tend to be phrases rather than single-word insults, but I like to be specific. I’ve actually said these to people at one time or another: - Itdon’tmatterjustdon’tbiteit, motherfucker!!! - I bet you’re sitting on a chair in an empty room, with nothing but your social security check, a bottle of cheap vodka, and a telephone, determined to piss all over the world because nobody’s looked at your gnarled cunt in forty years. - Do us all a favor and quit eating the paint chips, pigfucker. For contractions, though, you just can’t go wrong with “jiveass motherfucker.” ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/71 "2003-02-19T02:07:19Z")
I like: Chinstrap Cuntsack I don’t know what either of them mean. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weak\_Force](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9dc877/32.png) [@The\_Weak\_Force](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weak_Force)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/72 "2003-02-19T02:31:45Z")
I once called someone a **cockbroker**. She didn’t take it very well, though. I mean, you’d think she could take a little joke from her grandson, but no… ::D&R:: ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/73 "2003-02-19T02:44:05Z")
My current favorite is … **Cockhole** It has the classic ambiance of “Asshole”, but it just goes that extra step. And it rolls trippingly off the tongue. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/74 "2003-02-19T08:43:12Z")
Syphalated Side Effect of a Southern Siberian Grudge-Fuck! Contributed by my friend Gary, circa 1978. A REALLY fancy way to call someone a bastard (I think). Holy Sheep-shit! - Much used. I say Sheep-shavings in polite company. Crap on Toast - Ewww… And a little poem from my Dad. I have been known to fix an evil glare on someone and hit 'em with the whole thing, but it only works if they stand still for a few minutes. When bleeding piles torment you, And corns upon your feet. When crabs as big as horsefleis Upon your meat do eat. And when you’re old and feeble And a syphiletic wreck I hope you fall through your asshole And break your bloody neck! After recitation, run like hell! ---
**Author:** ![Fox\_in\_the\_Snow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@Fox\_in\_the\_Snow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_in_the_Snow)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/75 "2003-02-19T10:46:11Z")
Get ta Fuck, ya wee horse wankin’ gobshite. ---
**Author:** ![Mothchunks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a587f6/32.png) [@Mothchunks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mothchunks)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/76 "2003-02-19T12:04:08Z")
tee hee How about butt pirate, neanderfuck, and Fundamentalist. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989/77 "2003-02-19T12:23:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > \*\ ***Moderator’s note:** > > Ah, I don’t think so. > > Off to the Pit… > > TVeblen, > IMHO mod \*\* Actually, my rule is not to be vulgar just for vulgarity’s sake. If a thread is too crude to be in the other forums, but it’s not really a rant, I just close it. Like I’m gonna do NOW. Lynn [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/profanity-what-are-the-best-five-unusual-curses-cuss-words/154989.md?page=3)