# Professor Bricker's Portal Into The Past **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393 "2007-08-21T17:14:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/1 "2007-08-21T17:14:58Z")
I have finally perfected my time portal. We can open a small window, of no more than an hour’s duration, to any time and place in the past that we can specifiy relative to today and to the Earth’s surface. Unfortunately, we can do this but once before the flux capacitor burns out. This is a window, not a door. We can see, but we can’t visit or interact. What should we use our one opportunity to observe? Can we pick something that will make us enough money to buy new flux capacitor components? Or shall we selflessly take the hit and document of great historical (but non-profit-making) event via videocam? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/2 "2007-08-21T17:20:08Z")
Why not do both an get video of the JFK assination proving exactly who killed him millions would pay to see the proof and you also can count it as an even of great historical importance. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/3 "2007-08-21T17:25:57Z")
You couldf make a huge amount from documenting the right moments. The Crucifiction stands out. The Assassination of Julius Caesar The Eruption of Santorini (Krakatoa would be a good sideshow) The Fall of the Tungusk Meteorite The Fall of the Dinosaur-Killer Robert Silverburg suggested The Assassination of Huey Long and The Opening of Justinian’s Palace The Execution or the Trial of Socrates Anything with Moses ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/4 "2007-08-21T17:34:02Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] The Crucifiction stands out. [/QUOTE] The resurrection would be better. How about The last few hours of the life of Marilyn Monroe or Elvis. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/5 "2007-08-21T18:02:28Z")
What I want is the true pronounciation of the Divine Name, from the First Temple period in Jerusalem, ca. 1000 BCE. Then we’ll need a lot of paleolinguists to update the vowels from ancient Hebrew to modern Hebrew. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/6 "2007-08-21T18:16:46Z")
I’d want to identify the Zodiac killer. Solve something unsolved, you know? By the way, **Bricker** , somewhere in my ex-wife’s basement, I’ve got a a few capacitors, and also some flux. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/7 "2007-08-21T18:17:46Z")
Yeah, I’d be inclined to go with the Resurrection, except that since I don’t think it actually happened, it’d be a rather expensive “I told you so!” to millions of people who would rationalize it away, claim we were lying or mistaken or otherwise not give a shit. ---
**Author:** ![Carnacki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Carnacki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnacki)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/8 "2007-08-21T18:18:04Z")
How about the last hour of a date I had a few years ago with whats-her-name, that blonde hottie I met in Cancun – after a night of dancing, we ended up making hot, sweaty, beautiful love on the beach…that was a night to remember… …actually, that’ll only take up about 7 minutes, so that’ll leave us with 53 more for whatever. Actually, I might have made that night up, and going back to re-visit it will expose my deception, so on second though, forget it. How about the first hour after the big bang? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/9 "2007-08-21T18:19:42Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] The resurrection would be better. How about The last few hours of the life of Marilyn Monroe or Elvis. [/QUOTE] Marilyn maybe, but I’m not all that keen on seeing Elvis take a dump. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/10 "2007-08-21T18:31:02Z")
Here’s the problem with the Crucifixion, or the Resurrection: when, exactly, do we focus PBTP? The “where” is no problem; we know exactly on which hill the cross was placed. But when? We can’t hunt and peck; we have only one one-hour shot. Now, the assassination of JFK – that’s a good example of knowing both where and when. But it’s a gamble… suppose it shows Oswald acting alone. Are people really going to pay money to see it? The first hour after the big bang? Can’t… no Planet Earth to focus our coordinates. (Unless the big bang you’re talking about was WITH the blonde hottie in Cancun, that is…) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/11 "2007-08-21T18:47:24Z")
Forget the crucifixion or resurrection. I want to see the ascension. THAT would be awesome. But yeah, getting a fix for that one hour window might be tricky. **Bricker** , is this window a fixed view or can we see around in all directions? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/12 "2007-08-21T18:53:04Z")
How about three hours ago, in my dining room. Then the world would finally know the answer to that burning question: Where the fuck did I put my keys? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/13 "2007-08-21T19:05:28Z")
[QUOTE=Shoeless] Forget the crucifixion or resurrection. I want to see the ascension. THAT would be awesome. But yeah, getting a fix for that one hour window might be tricky. **Bricker** , is this window a fixed view or can we see around in all directions? [/QUOTE] The point from which you’re viewing is fixed, but we can pan 360[sup]o[/sup]. So if we were looking at, say, the front of the White House, we could pan behind us and see Lafayette Park. We couldn’t see the BACK of the White House. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/14 "2007-08-21T19:14:16Z")
Those huge volcanic eruptions would be out, they took place over hours and days, and you ain’t going to see much anyway unless you can do this in a geostationary satellite. Me, I’d open it up for bidders, let the world decide - for a price. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/15 "2007-08-21T19:21:27Z")
If we had longer than an hour, I’d say the Constitutional Convention – we could _film_ “original intent.” If we’re dealing with unsolved mysteries, how about the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman? I’ll bet OJ Simpson would pay for the whole thing, just to find the actual killer! Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/16 "2007-08-21T19:47:31Z")
OHhhhh I know what would make money! Diana’s car crash! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/17 "2007-08-21T19:59:58Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] OHhhhh I know what would make money! Diana’s car crash! [/QUOTE] Especially if you edited the video to show one of the paparazzi pull off a latex mask, revealing QE2 underneath, and sold it to Dodi Fayed. I’d like to see performances by Sarah Bernhardt, Salvini, Farinelli, Liszt, Mozart, and others who were supposed to be one of a kind performers but who were either dead or their careers long climaxed before film and sound recordings. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/18 "2007-08-21T20:01:07Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat] If we’re dealing with unsolved mysteries, how about the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman? I’ll bet OJ Simpson would pay for the whole thing, just to find the actual killer! [/QUOTE] What’d be really cool would be if the killer was Bonnie Blake (Robert’s late wife). ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/19 "2007-08-21T20:03:07Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] What’d be really cool would be if the killer was Bonnie Blake (Robert’s late wife). [/QUOTE] Yes, or one of Manson’s family who’s still loyal and under the influence of Charlie. Or even Roman Polanski who was getting revenge for Sharon Tate. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393/20 "2007-08-21T20:10:59Z")
I’d thought about the Gettysburg Address, or the signing of the Magna Carta (might be tough to get the right hour there) but I can’t see a huge monetary payoff. I like the idea of solving an unsolved case… frankly, I don’t think too many people would be surprised at what we filmed at OJ’s house, though. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-portal-into-the-past/416393.md?page=2)