# Professor Bricker's Time Machine (Version 1.0) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 24, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782 "2006-03-24T21:09:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2006, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782/41 "2006-03-26T07:22:33Z")
Travel back in time to when they were working on the US budget last year and insert, right before the vote, an item which gives you (let’s get greedy) $2.4 billion for “Bricker’s American Research La_bor_atory for Distance Over Velocity.” ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2006, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782/42 "2006-03-26T11:56:55Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Even more fun, you can tell yourself stuff like who will win the 2004 election. Taunt your Democrat friends. Win booze. Get an invite to the inaugural. Whatever. It will work like a dream. Trust me on this. Son of a **BITCH!!!** ---
**Author:** ![LucyInDisguise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucyindisguise/32/18064_2.png) [@LucyInDisguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucyInDisguise)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782/43 "2006-03-26T16:52:34Z")
Step 1: Load up every thing you can find that can store photographic images. (35mm or 70 mm equipment with vvvveerrrryyyy long telephoto lenses would be best …) Step 2: Spend your 20 minutes pointing your cameras at strategic locations in Dealey Plaza at 12:25 PM on November 22, 1963. Get indisputable photographic proof (one way or the other), then Step 3: Upon return, blackmail the appropriate group with an insincere promise to keep silent. When they stop paying, then – Step 4: Get a good contract attorney. Step 5: And sell everything to a movie studio. Simple. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782/44 "2006-03-26T17:07:52Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Randi would only hand out the million for a controlled and repeatable result. Bricker’s flimsy time machine will not allow for repetition. Once you get the lottery winnings, you can build the time machine more stably, and you can meet his criteria. I like to imagine that this time machine sends only you back in time: no equipment, no clothes, just you. Make it more of a challenge. So what I do is I go to a gas station and precisely at noon on the Sunday before the powerball is chosen, I go into the bathroom (if someone’s in there at noon, no problem–I just wait until they’re gone and check the time that I went int here). Stay in there for two minutes. If, during that two minutes, a naked me appears in the bathroom and tells me what number was picked for the powerball, then I buy that ticket; otherwise, I wait until next week. Hmm. Maybe I’ll start doing that this Sunday, just in case. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782/45 "2006-03-26T17:16:11Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Nowhere near lottery, of course, but easier to use to keep below the radar and you can sell it off a bit at a time to finance ongoing operations without taking huge tax hits. He’d have to sell it a bit at a time or he’d glut the market. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2006, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782/46 "2006-03-26T17:35:39Z")
Synthetic gem quality rubies. They are not fake, they are just synthetic. The only way you can identify them is the absence of flaws. It’s the only thing I can think of that has a higher value in 1906 than today. You need to find a place to sell them, and it needs to exist then, and be run by someone willing to try for a fast profit by cheating you out of the value of the set. Trade them for high quality emerald and pearl jewelry in an antique setting. (Antique in 1906 that is.) If you have reasonably good taste, and know of a long established jeweler of suspicious antecedents, you can do it easily. Or, attend the bonfire where Modigliani burned the majority of his works. Bring your rubies, and offer to trade. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782/47 "2006-03-26T17:38:41Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > So what I do is I go to a gas station and precisely at noon on the Sunday before the powerball is chosen, I go into the bathroom . . . Daniel So, aside from a nifty chance to prance around naked at the local gas station, is there some reason why you can’t just do this at home, say, in your bedroom? Tris [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/professor-brickers-time-machine-version-1-0/349782.md?page=2)