# Program the SciFi channel! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 12, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253 "2001-05-12T20:43:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/1 "2001-05-12T20:43:01Z")
I was very excited when I first got the SciFi channel, but have come to the conclusion that it sucks ass. Geez, how episodes of X-Files and Xena do we need? If I could program it, I would have **TV series:** Twighlight Zone Outer Limits (old, and the new ones that are good) Ray Bradbury short stories Red Dwarf Dr.Who Blake’s 7 Babylon 5 Star Trek (all series I suppose, but Voyager would be relegated to 4:00 am) **Movies and MiniSeries:** Planet of the Apes The Martian Chronicles Logan’s Run Blade Runner Can’t think of any more off the top of my head. Additions? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2001, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/2 "2001-05-12T20:49:00Z")
I would wipe that slate clean, call up Comedy Central and beg, literally on my knees beg and promise to give blow jobs and whatever the equivalent to females is to every executive there, to be allowed to buy the rights to all of their pre-Sci-Fi MST3K episodes, stage a midnight raid on KTMA in the Twin Cities and empty their vaults of ancient MST3K, and eventually put together a schedule that looks like this for Sci-Fi: 24 hour MST3K, in order, from the first KTMA episode to “Danger:Diabolik” plus the movie, in a repeating loop with no commercials (financed by my own fortune (this is a fantasy, after all)). jayjay ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2001, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/3 "2001-05-12T20:50:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > **24 hour MST3K, in order, from the first KTMA episode to “Danger: Diabolik” plus the movie, in a repeating loop with no commercials (financed by my own fortune (this is a fantasy, after all)).** Damn stealth smilies… jayjay ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/4 "2001-05-12T20:53:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\*I would wipe that slate clean, call up Comedy Central and beg, literally on my knees beg and promise to give blow jobs and whatever the equivalent to females is to every executive there, to be allowed to buy the rights to all of their pre-Sci-Fi MST3K episodes, stage a midnight raid on KTMA in the Twin Cities and empty their vaults of ancient MST3K, and eventually put together a schedule that looks like this for Sci-Fi: > > 24 hour MST3K, in order, from the first KTMA episode to “Danger:Diabolik” plus the movie, in a repeating loop with no commercials (financed by my own fortune (this is a fantasy, after all)). > > jayjay \*\* I will join you in giving the blowjobs(as long as I can also do Mike Nelson). I can also provide two tapes of KTMA episodes. It would be Tubular Boobular Joy! ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/5 "2001-05-13T03:03:42Z")
I would have nothing but “Hulk” all day long, starting each day’s programming with the episode in which Lou Ferrigno got to step out from under the spray paint to reveal his amazing thespic abilities as a bodybuilder–“Dabid, yu most heeellp mee!” (Smiley to show that Sir Rhosis is being sarcastic goes here). Sir ---
**Author:** ![Sparteye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Sparteye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparteye)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/6 "2001-05-13T04:22:06Z")
Geez, am I the only one who loves Farscape? And be sure to try the movie shorts on Exposure. ---
**Author:** ![VitrolicBump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a587f6/32.png) [@VitrolicBump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VitrolicBump)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/7 "2001-05-13T06:29:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sparteye \* > \*\*Geez, am I the only one who loves Farscape? And be sure to try the movie shorts on Exposure. \*\* Oh yeah! I love Farscape! Haven’t been able to see it the last few weeks, but I still try to follow it through the website, though it isn’t the same.☹ Also put on “The Invisible Man”! Ooooo, Darien and Hobbes alongside Crichton. That would be great. I would hog the TV **all day**! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/8 "2001-05-13T06:32:57Z")
Heck, if it just came in clearly on my set, I’d be a lot happier. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/9 "2001-05-13T06:42:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sparteye \* > \*\*Geez, am I the only one who loves Farscape? \*\* Nope, but I’m pissed off about Zan. **Balduran,** We get Twighlight Zone, Outer Limits, and Babylon 5 out here, but on an unreliable schedule. I’d just like them to figure out a schedule and stick to it for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/10 "2001-05-13T06:46:11Z")
I think the first thing to do is split it into 5 or 6 channels. There’s just too much great stuff to put on, and I’m tired of them always having to take off one of the good ones every time they change the schedule. This would allow them to put up an MST3K channel and an all-Star Trek channel, which would make it easier to find something to watch. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/11 "2001-05-13T07:24:17Z")
First off, it would have Farscape, First Wave, Lexx, Quantum Leap, Outer Limits, X Files, Dr. Who, all the Star Treks, and a few other shows… Secondly, I’d GET RID OF THE STUPID “TALKS WITH THE DEAD” MAN!!! God that crap bugs me. It’s like the #@& Psychic Friends Network has its own show! ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/12 "2001-05-13T20:18:20Z")
yay! LEXX, Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, and all of the FarScape that i have missed. ooh, fun. and i support the “dump john edward” movement. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/13 "2001-05-13T21:53:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > > \*\*I would wipe that slate clean, call up Comedy Central and beg, literally on my knees beg and promise to give blow jobs and whatever the equivalent to females is to every executive there, to be allowed to buy the rights to all of their pre-Sci-Fi MST3K episodes, stage a midnight raid on KTMA in the Twin Cities and empty their vaults of ancient MST3K, and eventually put together a schedule that looks like this for Sci-Fi: > > > > 24 hour MST3K, in order, from the first KTMA episode to “Danger:Diabolik” plus the movie, in a repeating loop with no commercials (financed by my own fortune (this is a fantasy, after all)). > > > > jayjay \*\* > > I will join you in giving the blowjobs(as long as I can also do Mike Nelson). I can also provide two tapes of KTMA episodes. > > It would be Tubular Boobular Joy! \*\* Dammit, Mike is MINE! I am CO-PRESIDENT and FOUNDER of the Joel Hodgeson/Mike Nelson Estrogen Brigade, for god sakes! [shameless self-promotion] (Anyone who wants to join our e-mailing list is welcome…)[/shameless self-promotion] Hell, we could tie the folks at the Sci Fi channel down and force them to watch Manos and Mitchell until they give in! ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/14 "2001-05-13T22:11:59Z")
You’re right **Bumbazine** those shows tend to be the network’s bitch, they’ll bounce them around every week. Some other good show ideas here, though we’ll have to schedule LEXX when kids are in bed. 🙂 Any miniseries that **jayjay** and **Hastur** could use their umm… persuasive abilities to get? ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/15 "2001-05-13T22:15:17Z")
They should agree to ANY terms Harlan Ellison would set for the rights to rebroadcast ALL of his commentaries from “Sci-fi Buzz.” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/16 "2001-05-13T22:18:36Z")
There needs to be a couple of Sci-Fi Channels. One dedicated to old sci-fi movies (from the silent era to the 1950s or so), another for TV series and movie serials (Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers), another for films of more recent vintage, another for animated TV shows and movies, and the last one for things of more recent vintage or which don’t fit in the ones I’ve mentioned. _That_ would be cool. That way I could watch some of the stuff I’ve never been able to see, but everyone says is great, and people could still have the new stuff they put on (even if some of it is crap). ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/17 "2001-05-13T23:26:20Z")
Tuckerfan: As a kid, I saw 50s sci-fi on TV and remembered it fondly. As an adult, seeing it was in most cases a let-down. It can be fun in a campy way, if you appreciate it for what it was at the time (as opposed to MST3K treatement, which I think is lamer than the films they use. But _de gustibus_). Flash Gordon is great to see in this way. But in comparison, most of these shows were as bad as or worse than the worst episodes of Twilight Zone. The A-number-one programming change I’d like to see the most is to get rid of that fucking phony John Edward! That program is a disgrace. I recently saw a program on some other channel that filmed a seance he gave. But he didn’t allow them to film **him** , just the rest of the room. Gee, I wonder why! ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/18 "2001-05-14T04:11:59Z")
Farscape Rocks. First Wave Rocks. Maybe a start for Sci-Fi would be to actually air new episodes of these shows during the months of May and June, instead of starting their new seasons, then stopping for two months before picking back up. At least they are running re-runs of Farscape. There is no First Wave until July! Yeesh! ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/19 "2001-05-14T04:24:43Z")
as does Lexx- I wish it was more of a DAILY than a weekly… And I’m already on my knees but only for Tom Servo. I especially like those little wiggly arms. I’d also like to see a “suggestion board” for movies- I want to see MST3K do “Monolith Monsters”, the dumbest SF movie of all time (well, the dumbest one which tries to take itself seriously, Ed Wood doesn’t count) Oh, wait, I’m getting something, there’s something coming through- do we have a J.E. here? John Edwards? Aha, I see, I’m getting something- seems like the great beyond is calling you, Mr. Edwards. A whole lot of people are out there in the afterlife wanting a big damned piece of your ass for making up so much BS about what they were supposedly saying… b. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253/20 "2001-05-14T05:23:45Z")
I would include the first season of “Sliders.” That’s when they had some of their most intriguing plots – a world where antibiotics were never discovered, a world where atomic weapons were never invented because Einstein fudged his data, a world where intellectuals were treated with the adulation that we currently award to athletes. After the first season, they kind of degenerated into homages to “Road Warrior” and generic this-world-has-magic-spells plots. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/program-the-scifi-channel/65253.md?page=2)