# (Projected) Obituary Thread Titles by Eve **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 7, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856 "2003-07-07T20:53:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/1 "2003-07-07T20:53:08Z")
I hope my thread title is self-explanatory. I’ll start, then everyone join in! Obviously, these should be for celebrities who are not yet dead: For Ray Stevens: Say It Isn’t So, Ethel! For Ray Romano: Everyone Loved Him…to Death For Ronald Reagan: Bedtime. For Carol Burnett: I’m So Glad We Had This Time Together ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/2 "2003-07-07T21:17:15Z")
Arnold Schwarzenneger: I Won’t be Back. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/3 "2003-07-07T21:19:26Z")
Don McLean : Bye, Bye Mister American Pie ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/4 "2003-07-07T21:22:03Z")
Shirley MacLaine, however: I’ll be Back. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/5 "2003-07-07T21:44:56Z")
The Washington’s Post’s [Style Invitational](http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A6003-2003Jan3¬Found=true) ran a contest along similar lines last year. A few of my favorites > [@](#): > > \*\*Tiger Woods at Six Under > > Clinton Doesn’t Inhale > > Chevy Chase Is Dead and You’re Not > > **and the classic** > > Wouldn’t ‘Dave Barry Is Toast’ Be a Great Name for a Rock Band?\*\* The Post’s contest allowed you to use people who are already dead. Anyone else feel a little bit creepy about this thread? Some of Eve’s pre-death posts have been a little too close for comfort. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/6 "2003-07-07T21:51:19Z")
Hope Doesn’t Spring Eternal Shatner Boldly Goes Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/7 "2003-07-07T22:25:34Z")
Brando got an offer he couldn’t refuse Newman: Somebody Up There Likes Him DeNiro: You Talkin’ To Me? Eastwood: Made his day Michael Jackson Beat It ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/8 "2003-07-07T23:29:59Z")
Ronald Reagan Says ‘I May Be Dead, I Don’t Recall’ Bob Hope Found Dead on Road to Rio DMX DOA ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/9 "2003-07-07T23:53:20Z")
Gerald Ford Takes Final Trip John Leguizamo: Now Considerably Less Annoying Burt Reynolds Can’t Act (Because He’s Dead) Davy Jones Takes Last Train to Deadsville ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/10 "2003-07-07T23:54:34Z")
Heh, heh, heh . . . ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/11 "2003-07-08T00:04:57Z")
Sidney Poitier: Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner? ---
**Author:** ![LSD-25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d78d45/32.png) [@LSD-25](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSD-25)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/12 "2003-07-08T00:33:50Z")
Arnold Schwarzenegger - “Terminated Too - Judgement Day” Warren Beatty - “Heaven Can’t Wait” ---
**Author:** ![LSD-25](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d78d45/32.png) [@LSD-25](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSD-25)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/13 "2003-07-08T00:40:26Z")
Arnold Schwarzenegger - “Terminated Too : Judgement Day” Warren Beatty - “Heaven Can’t Wait” ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Pirate\_LeChuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Dead\_Pirate\_LeChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Pirate_LeChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/14 "2003-07-08T01:07:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scupper \* > \*\*Gerald Ford Takes Final Trip > \*\* [Slight Hijack] Does anyone else remember the episode of SNL that Dana Carvey hosted a few years back, where he did a skit of Peter Jennings recording soundbytes about Gerald Ford “just in case”, before he went on vacation? “Gerald Ford eaten by wolves today… he was delicious.” [/Slight Hijack] ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/15 "2003-07-08T02:44:08Z")
For the next member of Queen to die. ☹ “Another One Bites the Dust” ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/16 "2003-07-08T03:32:52Z")
I was shocked that nobody used the headline “Princess Dies”. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/17 "2003-07-08T04:07:09Z")
Bruce Willis: Die Easy Humphrey Bogart: The Big Sleep. ( Ok, that was a gimme.) Braveheart Stops beating. So long Riggs. Bob Hope, thanks for the memories. Morganna the kissing bandit, thanks for the mammaries. Boss, your plane has landed. Ricardo Maltaban She ship has come in. Gloria Stewart, RIP. Karl Malden Left Home Without it. Rip. It’s about NOTHING! Jerry Seinfeild “What’s it all about, Alfie.” Michael Caine ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/18 "2003-07-08T04:17:22Z")
Kirk Douglas: Spartacus has left the Colesseum. Ann Rice: Fangs for the Memories Divine Brown: All dressed up and no one to blow. Hugh Grant " Ack- choo-aly, I am dead." QEII " Fuck, that dimwit Chuckles has my job now." I _am_ Ed Zotti! Cecil Adams revealed. “My Comeback has finally ended, now I will go away.” Cher. Dennis Miller: ranting no more. Bill O’Reilly Stops Spinning. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/19 "2003-07-08T04:22:32Z")
Abe Vigoda: No Longer Still Alive ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856/20 "2003-07-08T04:24:47Z")
Please allow me to introduce myself…Jagger RIP [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projected-obituary-thread-titles-by-eve/186856.md?page=2)