# Projecting (in a relationship). **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projecting-in-a-relationship/368053 "2006-08-09T20:28:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projecting-in-a-relationship/368053/21 "2006-08-10T15:07:16Z")
Sadly, I have to admit that there is some truth in that. I do try to “fix” people. As I’m coming to terms with that fact of late, I’m trying to understand why I do that. I’m certainly not perfect. Hence the introspection. But I also don’t want to paint a picture of myself as a constant overbearing harranguer. I’m not. I’m pretty accepting of most things, most of the time. But if you ask me for advice, and I give it, I have a tendency to expect that you’ll make use of it. A friend recently asked me to help her choose a bike. She wanted something that she could begin to ride as a form of exercise and aid in training. Given that I happen to know something on the subject of both bikes and physical training, I was only too glad to help. She did get a bike but I think she got more help than she really expected and at the end she was a bit overwhelmed with the amount of detail involved and the selection process (test rides, fit, etc…) I put her through. I tried to make it fun and leave the decision process entirely in her hands. Ultimately she chose the bike that she liked and fit her best. But as relaxed as I am a majority of the time, I can be a bit intense about some things. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projecting-in-a-relationship/368053/22 "2006-08-11T13:38:54Z")
[QUOTE=QuickSilver] Sadly, I have to admit that there is some truth in that. I do try to “fix” people. [/QUOTE] Even if you only do this a little, I urge you to stop it. Either you love your GF exactly the way she is, or you don’t. If you don’t then get out. It’s not fair to try to change someone. Resentment is the inevitable result. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projecting-in-a-relationship/368053/23 "2006-08-11T13:52:22Z")
[QUOTE=QuickSilver] A friend recently asked me to help her choose a bike. She wanted something that she could begin to ride as a form of exercise and aid in training. Given that I happen to know something on the subject of both bikes and physical training, I was only too glad to help. She did get a bike but I think she got more help than she really expected and at the end she was a bit overwhelmed with the amount of detail involved and the selection process (test rides, fit, etc…) I put her through. [/QUOTE] Aaaah, yes. The ol’ “Ask him what time it is and he tells you how to build a watch.” I often have a hard time understanding why other people don’t share the same level of enthusiasm I have for certain things. But then, everyone does that to a degree. I’ve perfected the _glazed-over-smile-and-nod_ response when my husband starts telling me how many cubic feet of torque his thingamabob on the hot rod requires. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/projecting-in-a-relationship/368053.md?page=1)