# Proof that the universe is just one big random fuckstory **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 11, 2009, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815 "2009-01-11T18:31:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/21 "2009-01-12T01:30:53Z")
The 3rd item on the list of life’s certainties should be that sleazy people play the lottery. ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/22 "2009-01-12T01:34:00Z")
Even worse than the dickhead filling out a check in line at the grocery store is the douchebag scratching his head trying to figure out which lottery tickets to buy at the convenience store. Ahh, that feels better…😉 I just realized that I have never waited in line for a guy buying a lottery ticket to fill out a check…that would really put me above threshold. If he then turned out to be a rapist…OMFG ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/23 "2009-01-12T01:41:01Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > But how is that proof of randomness? You’ve now got three stories that have pretty much the same outcome. It may be ironic or something else, but three stories saying the same thing. Surely that’s not random. Statistically speaking, coincidences are bound to happen. I have no idea how many different lottos/games of chance there mighty be in between England and the US, much less the number of sex offenders that might play at any given time – or blind people, blonds, gays, blacks, what have you. But given both numbers it wouldn’t be difficult to calculate the odds for each group. Astronomical as they might be, fact is three (close) incidents do not a pattern make. I’m sure someone’s rolled a seven 20 in a row…yet the odds for or against him/her doing it again remain _exactly_ the same. IOW, one should _expect_ coincidences to happen, but when they do, one should accept them as such as opposed to looking for some sort of pattern as an explanation. Yes our brains are wired that way, but we also know (or should) better. Moral of the story? No need to be a sex offender in order to win the lotto. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/24 "2009-01-12T02:14:54Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > IOW, one should _expect_ coincidences to happen, but when they do, one should accept them as such as opposed to looking for some sort of pattern as an explanation. Yes our brains are wired that way, but we also know (or should) better. OK, agreed, but how is the OP _proof_ of randomness? > [@RedFury](#): > > Moral of the story? No need to be a sex offender in order to win the lotto. > > Really. Good to know. I’ll remember that in the event I want to buy a ticket. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/25 "2009-01-12T03:12:39Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > OK, agreed, but how is the OP _proof_ of randomness? It isn’t. It’s an example of the statistical certainty of coincidence. > [@](#): > > _Good to know. I’ll remember that in the event I want to buy a ticket._😛 Awesome. I just took a potential sex offender off the streets. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/26 "2009-01-12T03:42:40Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > And no matter the outcome of the lottery, you still win! Until your prison Bubba strikes the jackpot in your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/27 "2009-01-12T04:36:42Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Until your prison Bubba strikes the jackpot in your ass. Which is why it is best to take the jackpot out of your ass before you become roomies with Maximum Bob. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/28 "2009-01-12T04:51:42Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > OK, agreed, but how is the OP _proof_ of randomness? Well, it’s proof that the universe isn’t completely under the control of an omnipotent and benevolent god. It’s at least partly random. Either that, or it’s completely under the control of a twisted fuckup of a god. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/29 "2009-01-12T05:15:28Z")
> [@Mbossa](#): > > Well, it’s proof that the universe isn’t completely under the control of an omnipotent and benevolent god. It’s at least partly random. Either that, or it’s completely under the control of a twisted fuckup of a god. Now how is\* that\*?! It only seems to be proof that such a god wouldn’t agree with you as to how events should unfold. And I, for one, am very grateful for that. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/30 "2009-01-12T05:37:53Z")
Heff - “X is proof of Y” is often used (see this thread for examples) in a non-literal manner. I think you need your Colloquialism Meter calibrated. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/31 "2009-01-12T06:52:33Z")
What makes you think God fixes lotteries? This is evidence that maybe the Devil fixes lotteries. It seems a good argument for random chance. God might not allow playing dice with the universe, but I think that God allows for playing dice with dice. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/32 "2009-01-12T06:54:27Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Proof that the universe is just one big random **fuckstory** Considering the guy’s crimes, is this really the most appropriate word to use? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/33 "2009-01-12T16:13:27Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Heff - “X is proof of Y” is often used (see this thread for examples) in a non-literal manner. I think you need your Colloquialism Meter calibrated. _coughcoughhumorimpairedcoughcough_ ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/34 "2009-01-12T16:18:12Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > Heh. Yeah, that would be a little self-defeating. Who would qualify to enter? Let he who is without sin buy the first lottery ticket? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/35 "2009-01-12T16:22:35Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > You’d think that in the state with the highest rape rate in the nation they would have specifically excluded sex offenders from a lottery that benefits rape victims. Nevermind read the whole thread before commenting, eeeediot ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/36 "2009-01-13T16:13:15Z")
> [@alterego](#): > > Even worse than the dickhead filling out a check in line at the grocery store is the douchebag scratching his head trying to figure out which lottery tickets to buy at the convenience store. Ahh, that feels better..😉 I was pushed out of the way in the queue by a woman who wanted to wave her hands mystically over the scratchcards so she could pick a winner by her awesome psychicness. Then she bitched about how the one she’d picked only had a top pirze of £3000. How I wanted to give her a lesson in probability. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/37 "2009-01-13T17:12:55Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > **Proof that the universe is just one big random fuckstory** Or that God has a cruel and quirky sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/38 "2009-01-13T17:31:17Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > But how is that proof of randomness? You’ve now got three stories that have pretty much the same outcome. It may be ironic or something else, but three stories saying the same thing. Surely that’s not random. Three similar stories in a world with billions of people in it is still just random coincidence. There are only a few people who have been killed by stingray barbs to the chest but that doesn’t prove that there’s some sort of stingray conspiracy. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/39 "2009-01-13T18:02:09Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > IOW, one should _expect_ coincidences to happen, but when they do, one should accept them as such as opposed to looking for some sort of pattern as an explanation. Yes our brains are wired that way, but we also know (or should) better. Makes sense to me. If rape is a big problem in Alaska (which it sounds like it is unfortunately), you have a large pool of rapists in the general population to begin with, so it is not really that much of a surprise when randomly selecting someone out of a population that contains a large number of rapists leads to accidentally selecting a rapist. Sort of like, if you were to do a lotto drawing in Portland, you’d be more likely to have a winner who was a hippie than if you did a lotto drawing in Nebraska. Personally, though, I definitely hope there is some legal wrangling that can be done about this to make the drawing results invalid. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815/40 "2009-01-13T18:10:45Z")
Note to self: By denying the stingray conspiracy, **Wile E** has revealed himself to be part of the stingray conspiracy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-the-universe-is-just-one-big-random-fuckstory/480815.md?page=3)