# Proof that you're a Real Bachelor(tm) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 18, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713 "2005-10-18T05:08:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/21 "2005-10-18T15:21:10Z")
Antimaccassar: In mathematics, the inverse of the maccassar. Maccassar: In mathematics, a special type of logarithm using a base of pi. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/22 "2005-10-18T15:24:08Z")
> [@Who\_me?](#): > > Damn you **Shibb**!! šŸ˜‰ > > I donā€™t actually know what a flounce is eitherā€¦ but I couldnā€™t even _guess_ what an antimaccassar wasā€¦ That was a pretty good simulpost. **Asterion** : I would have guessed that an ā€œantimaccassarā€ was some sort of dental device used to prevent masctication. Alles klar, antimaccassar? ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/23 "2005-10-18T15:26:25Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I once cleaned the kitchen at a friendā€™s house that I could no longer stand the sight of. I did that once, too, for a bachelor friend: he was always letting me crash at his place after parties, and was generous with his weed (back when I partook in such things), so one morning I decided to thank him by tackling the massive, nasty pile of dishes in his sink. I got serious brownie points. šŸ™‚ > [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I think I know what the first one means, but the second two are lost on me. Hell, Iā€™m a chick and even I didnā€™t know what an antimacassar was until **Scumpup** ā€™s post prompted me to look it up ā€¦ I kept reading it as ā€œanti-massacre.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/24 "2005-10-18T15:30:45Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I once cleaned the kitchen at a friendā€™s house that I could no longer stand the sight of. > > This happened last March. > The last time dishes had been done was before thanksgiving. I know, because I recognized the vague scents of turkey and stuffing once some of the older mold was rehydrated. The thanksgiving plates were about 3/4 of the way through the pile, so I would date the stuff on the very bottom as from about 2 weeks before that holiday. Iā€™m impressed they made it four months and only then started to run out of dishes. I assume they used a lot of paper plates, or lots of take out food, or something? The worst I had was when I had every plate (about eight 10" and 7 8" ones) every bowl (8 or 9) every fork and spoon (as dozen of each) every cup (about a dozen) AND mug (another half dozen), half my cookware (large pot, small pot, parge pan, small pan, baking dish, cookie sheet, colander, several wooden and pastic spoons and spatulas), a george forman grill, a waflle iron, and large mixing bowls were all dirty in my sink, pilled next to the sink, pilled on the stove, and pilled on the floor for almost two weeks. I once had a large bag of trash (one of those 40 gallon black bags) sitting on my kitchen floor for two weeks. It is also worth mentioning that it had two smaller bags of trash in it, both were put in there when they were too full to keep in the kitchen trash can. Since I take over a week to fill a small bag, that means the elder of two bags had trash in it for about a month before it was thrown out. he problem arose because when I moved into my new place, my landlord never told me waht to do with my trash. I got t o one bag, and just put it aside, got to number two, abgged them together, and moved on to number three. It was at that point that I actually _couldnā€™t_ ask him what to doā€¦because he would wonder why I waited three weeks before asking about where to put my trash. The same went for asking my neighbors (all I knew was that there was no curbside pickup.) I eventually justā€¦ummā€¦well, letā€™s just say that a certain local business had a little more in their dumpster that night. The next day I went to the town offices and pretended to be much newer in town and asked where the landfill was. Of course, since it actually costs me $5 ( :eek: ) for every bag of trash I have under 40 pounds (which is every bag) I still wait until I have two bags worth before bagging them up in a large one and taking to the landfill. I have to have the window next to the trash open and a fan blowing out all day to keep my kitchen from smelling once I fill up bag #1, and there is no other way I can do it unless I want to pay $5 a week for trash. Absurd. Moving onā€¦ I currently have a small kitchen bag and several 12 pack boxes full of cans, and enough extra bottles and cans to fill another kitchen bag in a corner of my kitchen. They have been there (and the pie has been getting added to) forā€¦about a month. In my old apartment that had carpteting, I vacuumed a total of three times in the nine months I lived there. My new place has hardwood floors, so I notice when itā€™s dirty (I go barefoot a lot) and actually sweep it about twice a month. I wash my sheets and quilt less than once a month. My towels go about two weeks between washings. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/25 "2005-10-18T15:58:22Z")
Hah! my knowledge of trivia comes in helpful. ā€œMacassarā€ used to be a brand of hair-oil used by men (not merely a type, but an actual brand, I believe). Like the Wildroot Cream Oil and Brylcream of my youth, but dating from Victorian times. It got on the backs of chairs and sofas if the menfolk leaned back far enough to rest their heads. The _antimcassar_ has a piece of cloth meant to throw itself in the line of fire and sop up that oil and keep the back of the chair from eventually turning black from oil and trapped scum. You changed it periodicaly and washed it. Of course, unless you have menfoklk heavily into hairdressing, antimacassars aenā€™t needed today, except as ā€œclassicā€ accents on furniture. I see them as pointless frou-frou, and say to hell with them./ Just one more thing for the cats to knock off. Of course, if your friends donā€™t wash their hair with any regularity, you could still need the damned things, if you wanna keep your chairs looking clean. But a True Bachelor wouldnmā€™t care, of course. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/26 "2005-10-18T16:08:58Z")
> [@Who\_me?](#): > > Since I rent, the rental office will come and fix it, but I havenā€™t called them yet because I figure theyā€™ll throw me out for the mess the place is in. Same here. A couple of power outlets in my kitchen went dead a few weeks ago. (No itā€™s not the breaker.) I still havenā€™t bothered to clean the kitchen and call maintenance - my fridge is connected to an outlet across the room, through an extension cord. I also keep 4 bicycles in my 1-bedroom apartment, plus 1 in the car and 2 in storage. Every time I start talking about my bikes, people say ā€œyouā€™re single, arenā€™t you?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/27 "2005-10-18T16:27:03Z")
Scottie: Capā€™n, the macassar / anti-macassar pods are fused. I cannah give you more than impulseā€¦ Kirk: Dammit, Scottie, I need more power! ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/28 "2005-10-18T16:31:34Z")
Almost half the floorspace in my guest bedroom is taken up by comic book boxes. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/29 "2005-10-18T16:42:17Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Hah! my knowledge of trivia comes in helpful. ā€œMacassarā€ used to be a brand of hair-oil used by men (not merely a type, but an actual brand, I believe). The oil is obtained by pressing the seeds of the ylang-ylang tree and named for the district of Macassar in Indonesia from which much of it originated. It is reputed (particularly in its area of origin) to be an aphrodisiac and to promote the growth of hair. (From Wikipedia) ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/30 "2005-10-18T17:01:11Z")
Iā€™m married now and have to live somewhat cleanly, but back when I shared an apartment with two other guys, we lived like this. I solved my dishes problem by eating tv dinners and using paper plates. Another time, It took me 5 trips to take out the garbage. We hadnā€™t done so in maybe 6 weeks and we had filled several of those large trash bags. It was starting to interfere with the opening of the entry door. There several overflowing ashtrays at any given time. We never vacuumed the place. We also never cleaned the bathroom for the year we lived there. When we moved out, my roomate used some sort of caustic chemical to clean the bathroom. It was incredibly foul. A friend of mine who is still a bachelor was clean but for three months, the only thing he owned was a big screen TV. He didnā€™t have a bed or a couch. His clothing went in the closet and the books went on the floor. The funny part was that he had been on his own for a while. He had bought the place, decided that his previous furniture was crap and would just buy what he needed when he actually needed it. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/31 "2005-10-18T17:04:36Z")
If it takes more than two steps to cook it, i donā€™t If the shirt has no stains, and smells ok (with a shot of Fabreeze if needed), Iā€™ll wear it again and again If I can squeeze one more thing into the trashcan, it doesnā€™t need to be put to the curb. and Iā€™m female šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/32 "2005-10-18T17:24:59Z")
My boyfriend and his roommate have been living in their apartment for two years. They seem to subsist on ramen, rice, and really good tea (roommate works at Starbucks). They recently got a female roommate, but she too has osmotically absorbed their laziness. They have never owned a mop. I think sometimes when someoneā€™s parents are visiting they Swiffer. Of course, 90% of the floor space is taken up by Ikea furniture, futons, heaps of comic books, free armchairs, boxes of Magic cards, empties, more comic books, random chairs, GURPS books, and yet more comic books, so thereā€™s not much floor to cleanā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/33 "2005-10-18T17:55:35Z")
Iā€™m female and married, and I think I qualify. Luckily, Mr. Neville is a slob, too, and we have someone come in and clean every two weeks to keep the place from going completely to hell (and it ensures that no dishes will go unwashed for longer than two weeks). I got a pot off the stove and put it in the dishwasher last night. It had mold in it. The door of the dishwasher looked like someone had vomited on it about a week ago. I only use the ā€œskip the sinkā€ types of dish detergent, so I donā€™t have to scrub dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I think Iā€™m doing pretty well if they make it into the dishwasherā€¦ I donā€™t tend to notice things being messy, like bachelor guys supposedly donā€™t. I only really pick up stuff if the cleaning person is coming, or if maintenance is coming. I try to get maintenance to come after the cleaning person has been there. I donā€™t know the difference between a dust ruffle and a flounce. My sheets and towels go at least as long as **bouv** ā€™s between washings. Iā€™m so glad I married another slob- a neatnik couldnā€™t stand me. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/34 "2005-10-18T18:23:25Z")
I will hamper dirty laundry. I will do laundry. I will fold laundry. I will _not_ put away _clean_ laundry. It sits on a chair until itā€™s all used up and dirty again. Nor will I willingly empty the dishwasher of clean dishes. What is the frikken _point?_ ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/35 "2005-10-18T18:27:37Z")
I pile all possible printed matter. I determine the location of important papers in a pile by a method akin to oceanographic core sampling: the last time I remember handling the first few papers on top of the pile indicate the length of time since Iā€™ve handled anything further down. If I can remember handling the lsot document since then, itā€™s not there. As I have comparatively few visitors, priority seating space in my apartment goes to my saxophone collection. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/36 "2005-10-18T18:39:39Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I will hamper dirty laundry. I will do laundry. I will fold laundry. I will _not_ put away _clean_ laundry. It sits on a chair until itā€™s all used up and dirty again. Put dirty laundry in the hamper? Are you mad? It goes on the floor! Thatā€™s how I know itā€™s dirty, since I keep my clean clothes in the hamper till I use them. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/37 "2005-10-18T18:49:10Z")
The booster club for our hockey team sets up the apartments for the players each fall just before training camp starts. We supply things like sheets, towels, flatware, dishes, pots & pans, etc. When we cleaned out the apartments after the guys left last March, some of the mops we had provided had never had the plastic taken off of them. And it was apparent some of the sheets hadnā€™t been washed lately, either. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/38 "2005-10-18T19:04:16Z")
I live with 2 guys, but we do an AMAZING job of cleaning the dishes, at least compared to the other posters in this thread. Wow. I feel clean now. However, when the phone company comes by and leaves new phone books outside our door, we just leave them there. I mean, we have the internet. Why would we need phone books? And moldering phone books (unlike, say, moldy dishes) donā€™t really present a health hazard. So who are they hurting? ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/39 "2005-10-18T19:31:58Z")
I have a microwave oven and a toaster oven, which I use frequently. I have a gas stove/oven, which I have never used. I keep the pilot lights lit, however, so I can make sure my propane tank is not empty. As long as the pilot lights are burning, I know I have enough hot water for one shower. ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713/40 "2005-10-18T20:25:35Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > However, when the phone company comes by and leaves new phone books outside our door, we just leave them there. I mean, we have the internet. Why would we need phone books? And moldering phone books (unlike, say, moldy dishes) donā€™t really present a health hazard. So who are they hurting? My DSL goes out about once every four months, necessitating the action of opening the phone book to find the number for Qwestā€™s repair service. This is the only time I ever open the phone book anymore, and it happens infrequently enough that I forget where I put the number the next time it happens, requiring me to open the phone book again. Last time it happened, I tore the page with Qwestā€™s number out of the book and stuck it on the wall next to my computer with a tack. Problem solved! I do wonder why they still print those things for every phone customer in the country. Iā€™m sure some people still use them, but not many. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proof-that-youre-a-real-bachelor-tm/326713.md?page=3)