# Properties of Semen **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 30, 2002, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578 "2002-04-30T23:12:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![welloso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@welloso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welloso)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/1 "2002-04-30T23:12:02Z")
Hi been talkning to my girlfriend , and we have to know- sperm/semen, we know what its used for , but could it have any other uses, for example , people joke it has loads of calories , does it have any other propoties we may be interested in? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/2 "2002-04-30T23:16:52Z")
Well, if you’re going to try to stick the wallpaper up with it, you might need a few willing friends to make a contribution. BTW, a descriptive thread title is highly recommended. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/3 "2002-04-30T23:49:00Z")
Oh…TONS of things: 1. Start your own mock sea monkey colony. 2. Put some in your hand. Sneeze. Look at hand and apologize to those around you, explaining that your testicles haven’t decended yet. 3. Two words: miracle whip. 4. Dab a little behind each ear. When people ask you what cologne you’re wearing, tell them it’s Calvin Klein’s Excretion. 5. Put a glob on your fingers. Flick your wrist and fling it across room. This works best while wearing a Spider Man suit. 6. Shoot it onto cardboard. Make a scrapbook. 7. Oh yeah, it has a really cool property when combined with an unfertilized egg. I forget what it is though. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/4 "2002-04-30T23:50:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*7) Oh yeah, it has a really cool property when combined with an unfertilized egg. I forget what it is though. \*\* nope, I think you’ll find it just makes the shell sticky. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/5 "2002-04-30T23:53:19Z")
I have changed the title of this thread from **I apologise for this but…** to **Properties of Semen**. In the future, please try to choose more descriptive titles. A fellow named **Cecil Adams** has tackled the question of [How many calories in the average male ejaculation?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_054.html). ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/6 "2002-04-30T23:54:24Z")
If the documentary _There’s Something About Mary_ is to be believed, it makes a great hair mousse. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/7 "2002-05-01T00:13:16Z")
Oh and the chicken might not be too pleased either. ---
**Author:** ![Ooner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@Ooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ooner)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/8 "2002-05-01T00:19:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*2) Put some in your hand. Sneeze. Look at hand and apologize to those around you, explaining that your testicles haven’t decended yet. > \*\* That’s the first thing from these boards to make me laugh out loud in a long while. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/9 "2002-05-01T00:40:36Z")
Sequential threads: - What liquid has the lowest/highest viscosity? - Properties of Semen ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/properties-of-semen/106578/10 "2002-05-01T00:44:44Z")
Hoarse? 😉