# Proselytizers: Go get a life **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 30, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322 "2011-10-30T22:13:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/41 "2011-11-02T02:23:48Z")
The question you may want to ask them is, “Please tell me, is there anything I could say to you that could sway you from your faith?” To which, they most certainly will respond, “Not a chance, not now, not ever!” Then, tell them you feel the same way, and they should just move along. Or you could tell them you are a Buddhist. Problem solved. They don’t know jack about that, they’ll just turn and go, directly. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/42 "2011-11-02T02:27:57Z")
> [@Omg\_a\_Black\_Conservative](#): > > You seem angry. Have you considered Jesus? The pussy went down in half a round! I need a **challenge!** :mad: ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/43 "2011-11-02T02:29:28Z")
> [@Scuba\_Ben](#): > > I had proselytizers show up at my door last week. > > On Friday night. At the door with a mezuzah on it. > > I have no idea what they were thinking. [shrug] What are the Jews for Jesus thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/44 "2011-11-02T02:30:07Z")
It should be legal to pepper spray any proselytizer. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/45 "2011-11-02T02:30:44Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > The question you may want to ask them is, > > “Please tell me, is there anything I could say to you that could sway you from your faith?” > > To which, they most certainly will respond, “Not a chance, not now, not ever!” “But is there anything I could **do,** to shake your faith in a God Who can allow such suffering?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/46 "2011-11-02T13:45:01Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Nametags = mormons. > > They have no idea what a mezuzah is. I had to google the word. Seeing that object on your front door would not necessarily ping me to understand that A) you are Jewish and B) it’s obviously your Sabbath. No mormon would have any clue about that either. > > That’s what they were thinking. Mormons are such _gentiles_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/47 "2011-11-02T13:55:28Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > I’m kinda the same way, except I point them at the verses in Matthew where JC basically says STFU and go pray in private. Fans could put that verse citation on signs and wave them at Denver Broncos games, but I doubt it would limit on-the-field holiness displays. The last clueless proselytizers I had to disperse, showed up at my front door early one Sunday morning - a salt-and-pepper team who announced they were there to pray with me. Somewhere in the manual it should say that when the door is opened by a scowling, wild-bearded figure in a dog-ripped bathrobe who has just had his Sunday morning breakfast and newspaper interrupted, you should apologize and slink away before you are martyred. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/48 "2011-11-02T14:28:35Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > You whip out a Bible to show me that God is both male and female, as if this is suddenly supposed to make me un-agnostic. > [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > You should change the subject and start politely asking questions about anal sex, bdsm, and bukkake, and what role those activities play in their religion. Considering she apparently worships Slaanesh, that could go horribly wrong\*. \*or horribly right, depending on your point of view. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/49 "2011-11-02T14:40:24Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Mormons are such _gentiles_. 😉 LOL. You know what’s _really_ funny about that? Mormons refer to anyone who _isn’t a mormon_ as a gentile. :smack: I _know_. Mormons call Jews “gentiles.” How hilarious is that? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/50 "2011-11-02T15:05:02Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > LOL. You know what’s _really_ funny about that? Mormons refer to anyone who _isn’t a mormon_ as a gentile. :smack: > > I _know_. Mormons call Jews “gentiles.” How hilarious is that? This habit of the Mormons always pisses off some of my jewish friends to no end. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/51 "2011-11-02T15:11:47Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > LOL. You know what’s _really_ funny about that? Mormons refer to anyone who _isn’t a mormon_ as a gentile. :smack: Heh. My first introduction to the word “gentile”, as a very young child, was in the [_Great Brain_](http://www.amazon.com/Great-Brain-Book/dp/0142400580/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1320246391&sr=8-1) series of books. These took place in turn-of-the-century Utah, from the point of view of Catholic kid among an overwhelmingly Mormon community. So … even _today_ whenever I hear that word my brain thinks “non-Mormon”. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/52 "2011-11-02T15:16:24Z")
I bet. If I were Jewish, it would piss me off mightily. I might have to smite them. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/53 "2011-11-02T15:21:47Z")
When pairs of moroni come knocking at my door wearing holy diapers preaching buried treasure, I have to admit that I can not take them seriously. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/54 "2011-11-02T15:42:24Z")
I understand that Isaac Asimov was greatly amused that there was actually an active faith which considered him a gentile. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/55 "2011-11-02T20:49:39Z")
First, ooh pretty artwork! Second, I can see the proselytizers side of it. The way most of them see it, we’ve all got a horrible disease. They have the cure and we’re nuts for not accepting it. They are, in their way of thinking, just trying to help. So, I tolerate them as long as they are polite. I hate Jews For Jesus with a passion, however. They are just lying liars telling lies. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/56 "2011-11-04T15:26:15Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > You should change the subject and start politely asking questions about anal sex, bdsm, and bukkake, and what role those activities play in their religion. Don’t get angry. Have some fun. You will live longer. Listen to Death Panda 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/57 "2011-11-04T16:29:31Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Post #27 will help you a great deal in Utah. Trust me on this one. 😉 Oh, I no longer live there, and I haven’t had any missionaries darken my door since I got the hell out of there. I figure they can sense evil better out of the state. > [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Mormons are such _gentiles_. 😉 I chuckled. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/58 "2011-11-04T18:03:31Z")
The OP makes a good point. Only people like us should be allowed to talk to us. As someone else pointed out, it ought to be legal to pepper spray people who are not like us. Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/59 "2011-11-04T18:49:09Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Fans could put that verse citation on signs and wave them at Denver Broncos games, but I doubt it would limit on-the-field holiness displays. Man, if anyone could use some “displays of holiness” on the field, it’s the Denver Broncos. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322/60 "2011-11-04T19:02:36Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > The OP makes a good point. Only people like us should be allowed to talk to us. As someone else pointed out, it ought to be legal to pepper spray people who are not like us. > > Jesus. I don’t believe that you’re really Jesus. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/proselytizers-go-get-a-life/601322.md?page=4)