# Protagonists that would be in a lot of Legal Trouble **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** actor-characters\ **Created:** [January 15, 2023, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280 "2023-01-15T21:01:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/61 "2023-01-16T15:31:57Z")
> [@dirtball](#): > > I don’t know the whys and wherefores of how they handle such things in the army, especially how they handled them during the Korean War, but I’m not totally buying into the notion that the higher-up officers are going to let Hawkeye Pierce get away with all the stuff he does because he’s such a great surgeon. I mean, a little bit, maybe. But not eleven television seasons’ worth of it. Especially since after season five, he’d be AWOL for missing the boat home. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/62 "2023-01-16T15:40:27Z")
> [@psychonaut](#): > > Kevin McCallister is probably technically below the age of criminal responsibility, but rigging all those booby-traps for Harry and Marv was possibly a criminal offence. The stand-your-ground laws in Illinois and New York (where the first two movies are set) allow you to defend yourself and your home with deadly force, but likely don’t apply to unattended traps. I understand from _[Katko v. Briney](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katko_v._Briney)_ that there may be an exceptions when the home is occupied, but counting against this defence are the facts that > > 1. Kevin wasn’t always at home when the traps were active (IIRC that he left the house in the first movie); > 2. Kevin actually _lured_ the burglars to the trapped house (in the second movie); and > 3. Kevin probably had a duty to defend himself through less drastic means (say, by calling the police for help) before resulting to injurious and potentially deadly traps. > > Even if Kevin is criminally in the clear, I bet Harry and Marv would have had ample grounds to sue him and his parents for the injuries they sustained. (There’s ample precedent for burglars successfully suing homeowners for injuries incurred in the course of stealing.) The Legal Eagle has the answers. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Dz7HUEUVbf4/maxresdefault.jpg "Laws Broken: Home Alone") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz7HUEUVbf4) ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/63 "2023-01-16T15:49:54Z")
Point taken as far as Burns is concerned. But Hawkeye’s the one who trades Henry’s prized oak desk for drugs unbeknownst to Henry (I mean, I think that gets investigated). He’s the one who crashes the peace talks to throw a tantrum (a well-deserved tantrum, admittedly, but still). He and Trapper are the ones who invent fictitious Captain Tuttle and donate his back pay to the local orphanage (a good cause, no doubt about it, but…) ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/64 "2023-01-16T15:51:03Z")
I’m pretty sure _Archer_ is guilty of at least a few misdemeaners… And a lot of felonies. It’s hard to rampage without 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/65 "2023-01-16T15:53:26Z")
I was looking for a list of all the crimes committed by Greg House, which is almost as extensive as Tony Soprano - but the most interesting thing I discovered is that despite the obvious parallels to Sherlock Holmes, it had never occurred to me that he was named for the House - Home - Holmes synonym/pun. Was that always obvious to everyone but me? ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/66 "2023-01-16T15:54:51Z")
Keanu (the Key&Peele movie, not Reeves) lampshades this. They go on a rampage of destruction trying to get their cat back who was taken by a gang leader. At the end of the day they save the day, get the cat back… and promptly go to jail ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/67 "2023-01-16T15:56:29Z")
Rebuttal by Janos Skorzeny. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/xnZ1OUxW7mg/hqdefault.jpg "Night Stalker 7") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnZ1OUxW7mg) ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/68 "2023-01-16T16:00:08Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > It also amazes me how [the Duke Boys](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dukes_of_Hazzard) got away with everything they did. One of the few moments I remember from that show that does not involve Daisy Duke in her Daisy Dukes went something like: > **Roscoe:** You Duke boys are under arrest! (giggles) > **Bo (or maybe Luke):** Under arrest? What for? > **Roscoe:** For… for… _(a thought breaks through the confusion)_ For _breaking the law!_ > **Luke (or maybe Bo):** Roscoe, you have to be a little more specific… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/69 "2023-01-16T16:14:52Z")
> [@BeepKillBeep](#): > > I think a lot of people in supernatural horror movies are in serious trouble. I cannot think of one of the top of my head, but good luck convincing the police that all of your friends were murdered by ghosts or demons. Chris in _Get Out_ was definitely going to have a hard time explaining the trail of destruction left in his wake, and in the original planned ending he was indeed arrested - IIRC Peele changed the ending because he thought a more hopeful resolution was needed at the time. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/70 "2023-01-16T16:20:07Z")
Very good ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/71 "2023-01-16T16:23:28Z")
If anyone is guilty of a crime in Home Alone (other than the Wet Bandits of course), then it’s Kevin’s idiotic parents, for neglect. ---
**Author:** ![Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiendish_astronaut/32/3295_2.png) [@Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiendish_Astronaut)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/72 "2023-01-16T16:25:41Z")
I’m fairly confident that during the dramatic climax of Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade the Italian authorities are already compiling an extradition request to the US for the arrest of the man who destroyed the priceless floor of the Venice Library. [![](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/58/71/64/58716421adad1b2b710c066685a250a8.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/58/71/64/58716421adad1b2b710c066685a250a8.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/73 "2023-01-16T16:35:19Z")
It was the middle of WWII. What’s a bit more property damage to Italy? ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/74 "2023-01-16T16:36:03Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > They’d get Batman for speeding. Then they’d plant some drugs in the trunk, leading to civil forfeiture of the Batmobile. Batman was always a safe driver and as a deputized officer of Gotham City only sped when in pursuit of Joker, Riddler, Egghead, or any other of those dastardly villains. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/VeOCs3hRjlE/hqdefault.jpg "Batman Lectures Robin on Always Wearing His Bat-Belt - 1966") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeOCs3hRjlE) ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/75 "2023-01-16T16:38:28Z")
Help me count the crimes in _Animal House_: - Stautory rape - Cruelty to animals (the horse) - Serving alcohol to minors and I can’t even remember the various crimes committed in the mayhem of the final scene. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/76 "2023-01-16T16:46:47Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Batman was always a safe driver and as a deputized officer of Gotham City only sped when in pursuit of Joker, Riddler, Egghead, or any other of those dastardly villains. [“Batman is a duly deputized officer of the law, ma’am. And if he is not pursuing a dangerous criminal, he drives more safely than any motorist I’ve ever seen. In his off-hours, he lectures on traffic safety to driving classes all over Gotham City. No, ma’am. If ever you see Batman driving speedily, you can be sure that he is endangering his life to protect yours and mine.”](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0519561/?ref_=tt_ep_nx) ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/77 "2023-01-16T16:51:10Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > Help me count the crimes in _Animal House_: > > - Stautory rape > - Cruelty to animals (the horse) > - Serving alcohol to minors I’m sure the Deathmobile committed many moving infractions. ---
**Author:** ![flurb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@flurb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flurb)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/78 "2023-01-16T17:10:48Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > John Wick. I think it’s implied, though, that in the _John Wick_ universe the assassins are allowed to operate outside the conventional legal system as long as they don’t target “civilians.” ---
**Author:** ![BeepKillBeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BeepKillBeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeepKillBeep)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/79 "2023-01-16T19:46:19Z")
I don’t think what Wick does is legal even in his universe. In the first movie a police officer comes to his door due to a noise complaint and says “Are you working again John?” So the police officer presumably knows he’s an assassin (probably because he’s that infamous) but if John Wick doesn’t want to be arrested, do you want to be the cop to try to bring him in? If he were captured, then he certainly would be in a pile of trouble. Probably get a sympathetic jury on explaining this all started because they Russians killed his dog (I’m joking). It is actually interesting that Wick never harms any police or security that are not associated to this target. That is something which is quite frequent in movies. The protagonist knocks would a security guard and clobbers a police officer, but it is excused because “greater good”, whereas in reality, that’s not going to fly. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280/80 "2023-01-16T20:35:38Z")
They were planning insurance fraud before they were expelled, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protagonists-that-would-be-in-a-lot-of-legal-trouble/978280.md?page=5)