# Protocol question **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248 "2005-03-19T01:09:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mattmorgan64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@mattmorgan64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattmorgan64)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/1 "2005-03-19T01:09:25Z")
Ok, so this thread is out in General: > **[Considering divorcing disabled husband to impoverish him](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=307692)** > > I love my husband dearly. In case you missed that: I love my husband dearly. Keeping that firmly in mind as you read: We would never normally consider such a drastic move as divorce, but: I am being made aware more and more often as his... And I don’t know what pisses me off more: The fact someone can ask something like this with any seriousness, or the fact that someone wishes them better luck than they had doing it/knowing someone who did it. I’m sorry. Bad things happen to good people. I don’t deny this, but it pisses me off to no end when people try to fuck over the system at my expense; and then have the gall to ask the general public for help doing it. Anyway, thats not why I posted. I’d like to read the poster the fucking riot act, sick husband or not. I don’t think it’s appropriate to do it in the general forum. Do I just keep my mouth shut (which I know is always my best choice); do I invite the OP over to this forum for further talks, or ? Newbies need to know. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/2 "2005-03-19T01:34:32Z")
You are, of course, free to Pit the post if you choose. Everyone else is free to agree with you, or hand you your hat, as they choose. Personally, my growing opinion that you are a jerk has been just about confirmed. ---
**Author:** ![mattmorgan64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@mattmorgan64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattmorgan64)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/3 "2005-03-19T01:40:06Z")
I see. So you think its OK to divorce your husband so that you can rape the social support system? Or is there some other reason I’m a jerk? ---
**Author:** ![leenmi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f1d935/32.png) [@leenmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leenmi)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/4 "2005-03-19T01:44:54Z")
I think the protocol is you start a pit thread with a title that references the offensive post or poster. If you want to make sure they know about your pitting, post a link to your pit in the original thread. ---
**Author:** ![mattmorgan64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@mattmorgan64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattmorgan64)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/5 "2005-03-19T01:45:41Z")
Thank you - thats what I wanted to know. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/6 "2005-03-19T01:46:15Z")
If she divorced him because she couldn’t stand to be married to someone who was disabled, and he then received the treatments he needs, would you still feel that the system was being “raped”? If she cannot afford treatments that would be provided if they had no money, then the system isn’t working right. Would you steal a loaf of bread for your starving child? (And no, this isn’t the only thing feeding my suspicion that you’re a jerk. But it doesn’t hurt.) ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Stilettos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Red\_Stilettos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Stilettos)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/7 "2005-03-19T01:52:08Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > Personally, my growing opinion that you are a jerk has been just about confirmed. My thoughts exactly. **AuGratin** made it quite clear that her back is against the wall and her husband is continuing to worsen. What do you propose she do? Run them both inot the poor house while still not being able to afford enough medication to truly help him? If the social support system isn’t meant for this type of help, then what is it meant for? It’s not like she’s extorting the welfare system to fund her crack habit. ---
**Author:** ![mattmorgan64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@mattmorgan64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattmorgan64)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/8 "2005-03-19T01:54:42Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > If she divorced him because she couldn’t stand to be married to someone who was disabled, and he then received the treatments he needs, would you still feel that the system was being “raped”?Would you steal a loaf of bread for your starving child? > > (And no, this isn’t the only thing feeding my suspicion that you’re a jerk. But it doesn’t hurt.) _If she divorced him because she couldn’t stand to be married to someone who was disabled, and he then received the treatments he needs, would you still feel that the system was being “raped”?_ Thats irrelevant, and off topic. Shes not. Shes divorcing some one she loves so she can get money from the social system to support them. _If she cannot afford treatments that would be provided if they had no money, then the system isn’t working right._ Yeah, right. I wonder what healthcare system the people travelling the great plains in 1880 had to turn to, yet somehow you are here - 135 years later. _Would you steal a loaf of bread for your starving child?_ No, I fucking never would. First off, I don’t have any children - as I knew years ago I never wanted to face the question in the first place. If 2% of the people on welfare/SSI could only have that foresight. You know, people think having a child is a right, a right they take for granted so carelessly that they have children before thinking about how they will be provided for. It makes me sick. Secondly, you’ll find that if you ask before STEALING, most people will help out galdly. If they don’t, you are asking the worng people, you havn’t asked enough people, or you are standing on the corner asking for something for nothing. And I don’t give a rats ass what’s feeding your suspicions about my ‘jerk’ status. You are a clueless clown. ---
**Author:** ![mattmorgan64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@mattmorgan64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattmorgan64)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/9 "2005-03-19T01:56:53Z")
> [@Red Stilettos](#): > > My thoughts exactly. > > **AuGratin** made it quite clear that her back is against the wall and her husband is continuing to worsen. What do you propose she do? Run them both inot the poor house while still not being able to afford enough medication to truly help him? If the social support system isn’t meant for this type of help, then what is it meant for? It’s not like she’s extorting the welfare system to fund her crack habit. Yes, it IS EXACTLY like that. Tell me why I should be forced to subsidise her husbands poor health, without my consent. Tell me, I’m waiting. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/10 "2005-03-19T01:58:15Z")
> [@mattmorgan64](#): > > You are a clueless clown. You’re a self-righteous prick, and if you OP is any indication, I doubt you’ll last long around here. ---
**Author:** ![mattmorgan64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@mattmorgan64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattmorgan64)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/11 "2005-03-19T02:00:06Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > You’re a self-righteous prick, and if you OP is any indication, I doubt you’ll last long around here. Self righteous? Please, tell me how I am being self righteous. I want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Stilettos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Red\_Stilettos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Stilettos)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/12 "2005-03-19T02:08:43Z")
> [@mattmorgan64](#): > > Yes, it IS EXACTLY like that. > > Tell me why I should be forced to subsidise her husbands poor health, without my consent. > > Tell me, I’m waiting. Her husband is already drawing Medicaid. Do you have a problem with that too? If not, why is it acceptable to give him some medication, but not enough to truly help the situation? Regardless of your answer to the above thoughts: you live in a country that has social services. No doubt, you take advantage of them every single day. From what we know, **AuGratin’s** husband is truly in need of help which the government is capable of supplying. If you’ve got a problem with that, I’d suggest moving, preferably to a very remote island. Oh, and for the record, it’s comments like the one I’ve quoted which make me think of you as a heartless jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/13 "2005-03-19T02:09:21Z")
[QUOTE=mattmorgan64] Yeah, right. I wonder what healthcare system the people travelling the great plains in 1880 had to turn to, yet somehow you are here - 135 years later. [quote] Speaking of irrelevant. _Would you steal a loaf of bread for your starving child?_ > [@](#): > > No, I fucking never would. Holy cow. > [@](#): > > Secondly, you’ll find that if you ask before STEALING, most people will help out galdly. Just not you. You’re not happy at all about the prospect of helping out these two people. Jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/14 "2005-03-19T02:14:16Z")
> [@mattmorgan64](#): > > Self righteous? > > Please, tell me how I am being self righteous. I want to know. I think “self righteous” is a touch inaccurate. “Great flaming asshole” seems adequate. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/15 "2005-03-19T02:17:31Z")
> [@mattmorgan64](#): > > No, it’s a moral question. > > Were it a factual question, the OP would never have had to ask that moral opinions not be offered. > > For example, when I ask a question about C++, the Universe, or splicing wires - it’s pretty rare that I ask that people who offended by the question not respond. Sir, I consider that any question you ask from henceforth has moral implications. You are taxing a finite resource – the collective experience and wisdom of the Dopers – but apparently unwilling that someone in need be provided the help they need. In other words, you will take but not give. That has moral implications. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/16 "2005-03-19T02:23:35Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > I think “self righteous” is a touch inaccurate. > > “Great flaming asshole” seems adequate. Fair enough. Great flaming asshole it is, then. ---
**Author:** ![mattmorgan64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@mattmorgan64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattmorgan64)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/17 "2005-03-19T02:28:31Z")
\*Her husband is already drawing Medicaid. Do you have a problem with that too? If not, why is it acceptable to give him some medication, but not enough to truly help the situation? \* Because the additonal help she needs, and deserves - she is trying to obtain via deception and lies. The bottom line is higher health care costs for all, with no explanation as to why costs are rising. You don’t seem to understand that I want her to get the help she needs - I also want the next person who has this problem to get the help they need. If everyone keeps fucking over the system and taking shortcuts, the problem will never be solved. \*Regardless of your answer to the above thoughts: you live in a country that has social services. No doubt, you take advantage of them every single day. From what we know, AuGratin’s husband is truly in need of help which the government is capable of supplying. If you’ve got a problem with that, I’d suggest moving, preferably to a very remote island. \* Yes, I take advantage of them EVERY SINGLE DAY. Just as I pay taxes EVERY SINGLE DAY. I want what I pay for, and I don’t want anyone getting a free ride at my expense. Next time you go to buy something, buy another one of whatever it is and give it to someone standing outside the store. Do this EVERY TIME you buy something. Then come stand on your soapbox and preach about how perfect you are. Until then, just shut your fucking pie hole. BTW - I’d gladly move to a very remote island… its just that I don’t think I could survive without a government that I could rip off when I needed to. _Oh, and for the record, it’s comments like the one I’ve quoted which make me think of you as a heartless jerk._ I’ve already told you I don’t give a fuck about what you think of me. What part of I dont give a fuck do you not understand? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/18 "2005-03-19T02:31:41Z")
> [@mattmorgan64](#): > > Thats irrelevant, and off topic. Shes not. Shes divorcing some one she loves so she can get money from the social system to support them. Uh, no. She is **considering** divorce. So **he** can get money. That he would be entitled to. See how that’s different? And read **Polycarp’s** post again. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/19 "2005-03-19T02:33:39Z")
> [@mattmorgan64](#): > > You don’t seem to understand that I want her to get the help she needs - I also want the next person who has this problem to get the help they need. > [@](#): > > I want what I pay for, and I don’t want anyone getting a free ride at my expense. There appear to be internal inconsistencies here. ---
**Author:** ![mattmorgan64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@mattmorgan64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattmorgan64)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248/20 "2005-03-19T02:33:48Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Uh, no. She is **considering** divorce. So **he** can get money. That he would be entitled to. See how that’s different? > > And read **Polycarp’s** post again. It never fails to amaze me how people will substitute spin for the truth. Explain to me, in plain terms - how it is her husband is entitled to money that he wouldn’t have gotten were it not for her divorcing him under false pretences. Please. Please explain it. I need to know. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/protocol-question/295248.md?page=2)