# Prove I exist **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 21, 2001, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280 "2001-07-21T02:28:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/1 "2001-07-21T02:28:51Z")
Alright, it’s friday night and I got roped in to driving all the way out here to dog sit for my sister while she goes to the @#$&\* beach. I’m bored and want to play a little light hearted devil’s advocate. So here’s a challenge to all the amateur philospher dopers: Prove that I exist. Corrolary: If I don’t, who is going to feed the animals? -Beeblebrox “You’d better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It’s unpleasently like being drunk.” “What’s so unpleasent about being drunk?” “You ask a glass of water.” ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/2 "2001-07-21T02:44:14Z")
Sorry to be such a damp duvet, but I beleive if you check the archives you’ll find that this has been done before. Besides, I’m still not certain that I exist. Thus my opinion is not to be trusted. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/3 "2001-07-21T03:11:25Z")
Action is perpetuated by things that exist, on things that exist. I do not exist. Therefore I can not check the archives. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/4 "2001-07-21T03:24:51Z")
For that syllogism to be valid, you must establish that checking the archives is indeed an action. Also, if you already are convinced that you don’t exist, doesn’t that make efforts to convince you otherwise futile? ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/5 "2001-07-21T03:30:31Z")
I have a wonderfully stunning proof for this; however, I first require that you prove you don’t exist, after which I will dash that proof to pieces in a manner that would fit in the margins of this message board. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/6 "2001-07-21T03:36:12Z")
You type, therefore, you are. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/7 "2001-07-21T03:57:44Z")
You don’t exist, therefore proving that you do is too hard. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/8 "2001-07-21T04:51:49Z")
I don’t exist, but I drink beer and get distracted easily. > [@](#): > > _Turbo Dog_ > **For that syllogism to be valid, you must establish that checking the archives is indeed an action. Also, if you already are convinced that you don’t exist, doesn’t that make efforts to convince you otherwise futile?** a.)one of the definitions of “action” according to Webster is: an exciting or signifigant activity. Plumbing Cecil’s knowledge and those of his devoted followers is both exciting and signifigant, therefore checking the archives is an action. B.) Arguing with the non-existant is always futile. You will end up in a mental hospital. > [@](#): > > _Turbo Dog_ > \*\*You type, therefore, you are. > \*\*I have a wonderfully stunning proof for this; however, I first require that you prove you don’t exist, after which I will dash that proof to pieces in a manner that would fit in the margins of this message board. “Battlefield Earth” is the worst movie ever created No one in existanse would like that movie. I liked it. Therefore I do not exist. > [@](#): > > _Turbo Dog_ > \*\*You type, therefore, you are. > \*\* I do not type, you merely perceive the electrons in the cathode ray tube of your monitor in a way you desire. > [@](#): > > _Sterra_ > \*\*You don’t exist, therefore proving that you do is too hard. > \*\* Exactly. It’s too hard and makes me want another beer. ---
**Author:** ![Kami\_Bum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@Kami\_Bum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kami_Bum)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/9 "2001-07-21T23:15:03Z")
Actually, I’m more comfortable with you not existing(sips some lemonade)…Ahhhh. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/10 "2001-07-21T23:31:24Z")
Well, just based off of a quote in your OP, which jogged my memory of a quote from MP: Rene Descartes was a drunken fart I drink therefore I am. Besides, if you didn’t exist, you couldn’t enjoy the best drink in existence: The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/11 "2001-07-22T00:06:52Z")
Daaaaaamn. I gotta talk to my shrink. All you figments are being really strange lately. Of course, there’s no reason to think that the shrink I imagined isn’t a bit wonky too. Anyhoo, none of you exist, not really. I am imagining you. In a way, I’m your God–I gave you the only pale semblance of life you could ever possibly have had. You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Myst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/59ef9b/32.png) [@Myst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myst)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/12 "2001-07-22T00:18:38Z")
See, this is why being a solipsist works beautifully for me. By the way, I’m new here, so… Hey. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/13 "2001-07-22T02:44:13Z")
You know – just the other day I was thinking _wouldn’t it be great to have some MPSIMS whimsy injected into GD_. If only someone existed who would start such a thread . . . ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/14 "2001-07-22T02:56:51Z")
Dog exists at home. Dog owner exists at beach. Dog owner feeds dog, except when dog at home and dog owner at beach. Therefore dog not fed. Dog needs to continue to exist. Dog sees computer. Computer tastes bad. Dog uses computer to post to SDMB to beg for food to provide for further existance. Dog of limited communicative ability, so post comes out “proof of existance” rather than “provide for existance”. Q.E.D.: Beeblebrox is dog. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/15 "2001-07-22T04:39:27Z")
**Pass the chips…please** 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/16 "2001-07-22T05:11:53Z")
There is a basic tenant of science that states: -You can only observe things that exist. If it is observed objectively and can be verified, than it exists. Unless you are some funky mind-melding thing that only I can see and nobody else sees, than you must exist. -You obviously have a memory of Zaphod Beeblebrox. (sp?) Things stored in memory require thought to recall. You think, therefore you are. Come on, give me something hard! -Soup ---
**Author:** ![Kaje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@Kaje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaje)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/17 "2001-07-22T06:27:20Z")
“Cogito ergo sum”, Descartes “I think, therefore I am” is an assertion that many characteristically objects to. One of my favorite philosophical phrases is Ambrose Bierce’s “Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum” (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am). Nietzsche argued on the other hand that the action does not necessitate the existence of the actor. That is to say, that what we consider to be a “thing” is really only a collection of actions on other “things”. To quote his Genealogy of Morals (First Essay, Ch. 13) “…;there is not ‘being’ behind the doing, acting, becoming; the ‘doer’ has simply been added to the deed by the imagination–the doing is everything.” It looks like I need to re-read all my Nietzsche, cause I can’t for the life of me remember where he extends this to thought, but I’m almost certain he does. He questions whether we actually create the thought, or if the thought is merely “bestowed” upon us. Now how I interpret these statements is not necessarily that my physical body and my physical brain don’t exist (though that stands as a brightly colored possibility), but that our so-called _sentience_ does not exist. I would extend Bierce’s statement to “I think I think, therefore I think I am [a rational being somehow above the other animals]”. Do with this as you like. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/18 "2001-07-22T12:40:53Z")
Of course you exist. How else did the OP get there? That doesn’t answer the question of _what_ you exist as, but it does answer the question of whether you exist. (Do I win something?) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/19 "2001-07-22T17:49:01Z")
To Muffin, Arf! To Soup, My memory of myself not withstanding, I am a Beeblebrox. Zaphod Beeblebrox is a fictional character. Fictional characters do not exist outside the thoughts of the author and the reader Therefore, I am a figment of your imagination and do not exist To Blacknight, (cue sappy Steven Spielberg movie music) His post is real… But he is not. -Beeblebrox `You ARE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' `Yeah, but don’t shout it out or they’ll all want one.’ `THE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' `No, just A Zaphod Bebblebrox, didn’t you hear I come in six packs?’ `But sir, I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said you were dead...' `Yeah, that’s right, I just haven’t stopped moving yet.’" ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280/20 "2001-07-22T18:08:03Z")
Listen, three eyes, don’t you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-i-exist/73280.md?page=2)