# "Prove you're an atheist" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 12, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440 "2006-06-12T16:11:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/81 "2006-06-13T02:56:37Z")
There was an eBay auction that purported to be selling some of Big Ben’s blood from his accident today. Could I substitute that for the blood of Jesus? What if I was a Cowboys fan (I’m not)? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/82 "2006-06-13T03:35:49Z")
> [@David Simmons](#): > > I didn’t even have to read it. I just passed my hands over the screen three times and was born again. Is that why your head’s shaped like that? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/83 "2006-06-13T16:19:13Z")
HASTUR HASTUR HAST- _ribbit_ ---
**Author:** ![beergeek279](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@beergeek279](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beergeek279)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/84 "2006-06-13T16:52:01Z")
> [@](#): > > i Apply The Blood Of Jesus Over My Life! > I Apply The Blood Of Jesus Over Where I Live At! > I Apply The Blood Of Jesus Over My Family! Are we supposed to be talking about Jesus, or _Carrie_ ??? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/85 "2006-06-13T16:58:11Z")
> [@beergeek279](#): > > Are we supposed to be talking about Jesus, or _Carrie_ ??? Jesus went to the Prom? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/86 "2006-06-13T17:09:32Z")
> [@The Chao Goes Mu](#): > > Jesus went to the Prom? Judas betrayed him by wearing the same outfit, and Peter denied he’d helped them both at the rental place. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/87 "2006-06-13T17:44:31Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > I’m pretty sure you can get it out of the carpeting with club soda. God’s everpresent, supreme love is no match for carbonic acid. I guess that answers the question of whether God can make a soda so carbonated that He can’t drink it. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/88 "2006-06-13T17:57:37Z")
I didn’t think it was possible, but reading this is making me _more_ of an atheist. ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/89 "2006-06-13T18:14:35Z")
If I only read one of them will I turn into an agnostic? Actually, I better not try it. If I get the X, Mr. m will probably divorce me and I’ll have to start hanging out with the pious people in my family. Besides, I’m afraid having the blood o’ Christ all over the house will attract ants or something. ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/90 "2006-06-13T18:48:31Z")
Well, I didn’t say it three times, but I did copy and paste it three times into a document. The document was then saved. _ba doom ching_ ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/91 "2006-06-13T19:08:14Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > … and here’s an alternative test. I promise immediate results. > > Say the following out loud: > > SHMA YISRAEL ADONAI ELOHENU ADONAI ECHAD > SHMA YISRAEL ADONAI ELOHENU ADONAI ECHAD > SHMA YISRAEL ADONAI ELOHENU ADONAI ECHAD I think this will have a bigger impact. HAVAH NAGILAH HAVAH NAGILAH HAVAH NAGILAH VENISMECHAH HAVAH NAGILAH HAVAH NAGILAH HAVAH NAGILAH VENISMECHAH HAVAH NERANENAH HAVAH NERANENAH HAVAH NERANENAH VENISMECHAH ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/92 "2006-06-13T19:18:24Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I think this will have a bigger impact. > > HAVAH NAGILAH > HAVAH NAGILAH > HAVAH NAGILAH VENISMECHAH > HAVAH NAGILAH > HAVAH NAGILAH > HAVAH NAGILAH VENISMECHAH > HAVAH NERANENAH > HAVAH NERANENAH > HAVAH NERANENAH VENISMECHAH Well, I don’t think I’m now Jewish, but I do have a strange urge to dance. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/93 "2006-06-13T21:31:28Z")
I am an atheist .I swear to god I am. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/94 "2006-06-13T22:57:19Z")
I recorded myself saying this, played it backwards and distinctly heard the phrase: “Paul is dead” ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/95 "2006-06-14T08:03:55Z")
> [@](#): > > **Bobo** (quoting a source on a definition of _pagan_: “One who is regarded as irreligious, uncivilized, or unenlightened. > Such persons considered as a group.” Anglicans? ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/96 "2006-06-14T10:15:22Z")
It’s not even noon and I just conclusively proved that there’s no god. Everything should be this easy. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/97 "2006-06-14T10:47:09Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > This: > is extra creepy. I have this kind of a Sam Peckinpah mental image after that. > > Bonus points for “where I live at” – it’s the tenuous grasp of English that makes for quality glurge. I am reminded of a bit of Christian music by Carmen (note, I am an atheist, I was a born-again wholly babbly thumper, there you go) in which he gave the typical responses to evangelism. Evangelist: Are you washed in the blood of the lamb? Evangelee\*: I HOPE NOT! Cheers, Q \*I am aware “evangelee” is possibly not a word. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/98 "2006-06-14T10:51:52Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Have you been to Jesus for the cleansing power? > Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb? > Are you fully trusting in His grace this hour? > Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb? > > Refrain Gee thanks. 20 years since I heard that song and now its stuck in my head. Endlessly. Just fucking fantastic. :rolleyes: Maybe god is punishing me! 😃 Cheers, Q ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/99 "2006-06-14T13:26:50Z")
> [@Gleena](#): > > Gee thanks. 20 years since I heard that song and now its stuck in my head. > > Endlessly. Just fucking fantastic. :rolleyes: > > Maybe god is punishing me! 😃 > > Cheers, > Q JUST WASH THE BLOOD OF JESUS OVER WHERE YOU LIVE AT AND IT WILL BE FINE. I CALL IT DONE. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/100 "2006-06-15T09:16:00Z")
> [@Brain Wreck](#): > > JUST WASH THE BLOOD OF JESUS OVER WHERE YOU LIVE AT AND IT WILL BE FINE. I CALL IT DONE. Ok, but now the dog is licking up the blood of Jesus I spilled everywhere…does this mean the dog is divine or hellbound (hellhound?) Sincerely, Confused G [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440.md?page=6)