# "Prove you're an atheist" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 12, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440 "2006-06-12T16:11:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/121 "2006-06-16T17:41:41Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Anyway, yes, the thing you had to do was to stand in front of the mirror every morning and say “I put on the full armour of God - I stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around my waist, with the breastplate of righteousness…” I could get totally behind that if they were just girding their loins. Yessir, there’s nothing like a good girding to get your loins ready to face the day. Yep. Girded loins, boy, that’s the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/122 "2006-06-16T17:54:57Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > This is probably the single theme of American Evangelicalism that I can comprehend the least. The very idea of God promising earthly riches to believers strikes me as so profoundly anthithetical to the teachings of the Bible that were I a Fundamentalist Christian, I would probably assume it was a belief created by Satan to tempt Christians away from their beliefs. What is the concept, exactly? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/123 "2006-06-16T18:29:11Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > What is the concept, exactly? Be good and tithe and all that Gawd will heap BMWs and gold jewelry upon you. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/124 "2006-06-16T18:47:12Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Be good and tithe and all that Gawd will heap BMWs and gold jewelry upon you. > > -Joe That’s actually -Joe 3:16, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/125 "2006-06-16T19:21:18Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Anyway, yes, the thing you had to do was to stand in front of the mirror every morning and say “I put on the full armour of God - I stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around my waist, with the breastplate of righteousness…” etc - miming each piece of armour as you go. You had to do it afresh every day because (and I’m not joking here - this is what they said) ‘the devil comes and steals the armour every night’ (Ummm… chapter and verse please?) I’ve never seen anyone actually pretend to put it on, but it was a common theme at my church growing up. They were a very charismatic and evangelical church, and they made a big deal out of spiritual warfare. I remember being taught to “put the armor on”, but it was just part of a prayer. We weren’t mimicking the donning of battle plate or anything. Pretending to put it on is…well, I try not to make judgment calls about other people’s beliefs. Let’s just leave it that I wouldn’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/126 "2006-06-16T21:11:06Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > That’s actually -Joe 3:16, isn’t it? 🙂 I’ve been outdone! Now, if you have any haiku to contribute… -Joe ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/127 "2006-06-16T21:29:43Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Anyway, yes, the thing you had to do was to stand in front of the mirror every morning and say “I put on the full armour of God - I stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around my waist, with the breastplate of righteousness…” etc - miming each piece of armour as you go. You had to do it afresh every day because (and I’m not joking here - this is what they said) ‘the devil comes and steals the armour every night’ (Ummm… chapter and verse please?) Now, see, that’s another reason I couldn’t be a Xian. I can barely manage to get to work on time with my usual morning routine–adding all this would make me late every single day. And you know that half way through something would distract me and I’d forget which pieces of invisible armor I still had to put on, so I’d have to just start all over. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/128 "2006-06-16T21:30:32Z")
Put on God’s armor Be sure to cinch the belt tight Lest codpiece fall off. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/129 "2006-06-17T00:10:56Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > Am I christian or a tampon now? Good answer. Rather obvious this Jesus person is having a Niagara-like period. Would that he wasn’t so open about sharing said fact. Way too much TMI for moi. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/130 "2006-06-17T00:22:37Z")
> [@David Simmons](#): > > I didn’t even have to read it. I just passed my hands over the screen three times and was born again. Finally, someone in a position to tell us if Pampers are more comfortable than Depends. j/k. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/131 "2006-06-17T00:35:40Z")
> [@flight](#): > > OK, so I called our IT guy over here and got him to bend over to look the power cord to my computer while I bashed him over the head with my coffee mug. _\_ The one thing I can’t figure out is how the the person who sent the email knew our IT guy was named Jesus. Wow, maybe she is a prophet! I just wanted you to know that this post made me laugh out loud. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/132 "2006-06-17T01:37:09Z")
> [@DeadlyAccurate](#): > > I just wanted you to know that this post made me laugh out loud. Thanks, after writing it I realized it would have a little more punch if I said, “…IT guy from Brazil…” or something to put the correct pronunciation in people’s heads. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/133 "2006-06-17T02:55:14Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > Finally, someone in a position to tell us if Pampers are more comfortable than Depends. > > j/k. :: snerk :: Okay, that’ll be one new Logitech keyboard, please. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/134 "2006-06-17T06:22:17Z")
> [@flight](#): > > Thanks, after writing it I realized it would have a little more punch if I said, “…IT guy from Brazil…” or something to put the correct pronunciation in people’s heads. Just so you know, it absolutely cracked me up too, and don’t worry - the inflection thing came through fine anyway 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/135 "2006-06-17T06:48:29Z")
Google ads are currently all for Cthulhu related things. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/136 "2006-06-17T12:58:20Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > They also did this ‘Putting on the armour of God’ thing, supposedly based on [this](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=eph%206:10-18&version=31) passage in Ephesians. See, I had always imagined that the instruction to ‘put on the belt of truth’ meant you were supposed to… y’know… _be truthful_ in word and deed, and so on… > But apparently I was wrong, what it _really_ means is that you stand in front of a mirror in the morning, mime putting on a belt and say “I put on the belt of truth”, then carry on as normal. “I put on my robe and wizard hat…” ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2006, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/137 "2006-06-18T09:36:31Z")
> [@Brain Wreck](#): > > “I put on my robe and wizard hat…” Oh, that is _good_. I have to find the link to that again - it was on my old computer and I’ve just now realised it’s missing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2006, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/138 "2006-06-18T14:24:35Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > But if you spill it on the carpet, will it be a blood stain or a wine stain, and what do you use to clean it up? I work in a carpet store. Generally, regular “supermarket” brands of carpet cleaners, like Resolve or Spot Shot work very well. We recommend that you have some on hand, because it’s good to get the cleaner on the spot as soon as possible. Blot up the extra liquid and apply the carpet cleaner according to the label directions. The stain should come out. In other words, it doesn’t really matter whether the stain is blood ir wine if you’re using a commercial spot remover. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2006, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/139 "2006-06-18T16:30:06Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > That’s actually -Joe 3:16, isn’t it? No it’s from the epistle of Robertson to the Shut-ins. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2006, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440/140 "2006-06-18T17:00:16Z")
Prove your a religious person. Give your worldly goods to charity and dedicate your life to helping others. A test Billy Graham, Pat Robertson ,Swaggert and other leaders fail miserably as they accumulate personal wealth and live in mansions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/prove-youre-an-atheist/360440.md?page=8)