# Provide me advice in breaking up with a short-term girlfriend for no particular reaso **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283 "2008-12-02T02:26:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/21 "2008-12-02T17:30:03Z")
“I’m being relocated overseas. I can’t tell you more for national security reasons.” ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/22 "2008-12-02T17:32:10Z")
**Hi, Neighbor!** - very smooth. You must be a pro. \*\*Dangerosa \*\*- I have the “I don’t care if you do have tickets for Robert Plant/Allison Krauss, I think you are pathetic” mug. It’s my favorite - the coffee tastes much sweeter from it… ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/23 "2008-12-02T18:41:47Z")
> [@ShelliBean](#): > > **Hi, Neighbor!** - very smooth. You must be a pro. Smooth until she calls him a bastard and throws a curling iron or something at his head. ---
**Author:** ![Superfreaknduper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Superfreaknduper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfreaknduper)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/24 "2008-12-02T18:42:29Z")
> [@Hi\_Neighbor](#): > > Going through something similar not too long ago, I’ll tell you what I did. After a few weeks of this girl being absolutely infatuated with me and becoming a borderline stage-5 clinger, I told her that, while we had fun, our lives were moving in separate directions, and it would be best to end things now before someone gets hurt. Mention that she is a great person, crack a small joke about a comedic moment that you shared, and as soon as she cracks a smile, touch her face and tell her that you’re glad she understands. Then get the fuck out of there. Wow did you make that good on paper. If only the theory worked out that well in practice, which in theory it should! ha. Damn romance. . .:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/25 "2008-12-02T18:52:53Z")
> [@threemae](#): > > She’s a perfectly nice girl whom I have dated for around two months and hasn’t done anything worthy of opprobrium. On paper I’ve many reasons to continue to want to date her, but she’s just lacking _je ne sais quoi_ (maybe it’s sarcasm that she’s lacking?). Please provide basic suggestions and direction for how to go about doing this in the most dignified and least painful manner for both of us. Also, I want to ensure that I don’t equivocate when I do this simply because I can’t provide an explicit rationale. > > Is there any other information I need to share specific to the situation for you to provide meaningful advice? I’m just not into you. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/26 "2008-12-02T18:52:56Z")
Tell her that you appreciate her taking part in your experiment and would she mind filling out a brief survey about her experience. Give her the name of a scientific journal to keep an eye out for where she will be able to read your full report. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/27 "2008-12-02T18:57:54Z")
“It’s not you. It’s the prettier girl I’m now seeing instead of you.” ---
**Author:** ![Giltathriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b38774/32.png) [@Giltathriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giltathriel)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/28 "2008-12-02T18:58:39Z")
I’ve no advice to add that hasn’t already been said, just sympathy. I’ve done this a lot and it sucks. Better now than later though. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/29 "2008-12-02T19:31:03Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Smooth until she calls him a bastard and throws a curling iron or something at his head. That’s why he finished with “then get the fuck out of there.” He should have added “with a quickness”! What about: “Honey it’s not that I don’t love you. It’s just that you were kind of borderline when we started dating and I just don’t think you’re going to lose that last 10 pounds.” ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/30 "2008-12-02T19:49:00Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Just don’t respond to her calls or emails and it will take care of itself. After 1 or 2 dates, sure I’d recommend this. Not after 2 months though. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/31 "2008-12-02T20:06:56Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Oooh…want to trade? I have two of the “can’t dump him now, he just gave me flowers” that I want to trade for “can’t dump him when he already bought concert tickets for the show I really want to see.” OKay, but you have to take this “I really really tried, but I’m sorry, you feel like a brother to me,” or this “Oh shit, I already said “we need to talk” and his mother just dropped dead, I can’t break up with him NOW!” along with it. > [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > This this and this. Don’t let her stew for a week. Don’t do it at the end of a great date at her favorite restaurant. ♪♫Don’t write a letter when you want to leave. Don’t call me at three am from a friend’s apart-MENT. I’d like to chooose how I hear the newwsss…♫♪ ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/32 "2008-12-02T20:31:13Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > “Oh shit, I already said “we need to talk” and his mother just dropped dead, I can’t break up with him NOW!” along with it. I have the grandmother version of that one. The relationship continued its dance of death for another six months. ---
**Author:** ![Jelymag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jelymag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelymag)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/33 "2008-12-02T20:35:32Z")
If you must do it in public, try a coffee shop or bar. Not a restaurant or movie theatre or anything like that. If you are interested, my favorite way to soften “We need to talk” is “Hey I have something to discuss with you later. Can I stop by around six? It would be easier to do in person.” Don’t burn any bridges. One day you might be hoping for a nice, sane girl that you have fun with, sparks or not. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/34 "2008-12-02T21:04:38Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I have the grandmother version of that one. The relationship continued its dance of death for another six months. What the hell are we doing in this thread, anyhow? Obviously, neither of us is any good at this breakup thing! Here, take our advice…we’re not using it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/35 "2008-12-02T21:35:37Z")
Start off with asking her, “Do you want to break up with me?” If she says “YES!”, easy as pie, done deal, cry a little to make her feel good about herself, and a clean break! If she says, “No, why on earth would I want to do that?”, then you are no worse off, and the subject matter has been brought up for the conversation to take on a life of it’s own! ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/36 "2008-12-02T21:57:03Z")
Get the blowjob BEFORE the breakup. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/37 "2008-12-02T22:16:08Z")
And then there’s the Modest Mouse joke. “So I called up my girlfriend one day and told her I’d won the lottery, and that she should pack her bags. So she asked me, where are we going? What do I need to pack? Ski, beach, Vegas? So I told her that she didn’t understand me. I just won the lottery, so bitch, pack your bags.” ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/38 "2008-12-02T22:48:44Z")
Change lanes without signaling. Merge without due diligence. Works every time. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/39 "2008-12-02T23:04:40Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > What the hell are we doing in this thread, anyhow? Obviously, neither of us is any good at this breakup thing! > > Here, take our advice…we’re not using it! 😃 We are the voice of experience on “breaking up is like ripping off a bandaid - pain either way, but why drag it out.” ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283/40 "2008-12-02T23:11:14Z")
Ask her if she’d be willing to participate in a threesome. If she says “yes”, ask her to help find another girl. If she says “yes” to this, keep on adding to your fantasy until she says “no”. Then you can explain that that’s a dealbreaker for you. Or you could have a hellofa good time! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/provide-me-advice-in-breaking-up-with-a-short-term-girlfriend-for-no-particular-reaso/475283.md?page=3)