The new advertizing slogan for prunes.
Did she introduce you to cigerettes and reading on the toilet too?
I was thinking more along the lines of:
Auntie’s burning, Auntie’s burning
Look out! Look out!
FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
Pour on water! Pour on water!
Um, please tell me someone else knows that song, and that you’re not all utterly 
So, green chiles, eh? Wow. You are more woman than I. But thanks for letting me know I’m not alone with my ass of fire . . .
Not quite, but she did buy me candy cigarettes and introduced me to the whole “leaving the bathroom door open” concept.
Also she taught me that wearing black underwear under white clothing makes it look like you’re not wearing any underwar.
And that LYSOL is a good substitute for Massengil. :eek:
A wealth of good knowledge, that gal.
“…she did buy me candy cigarettes…”
Hey, I remember them! I used to pretend I was smoking a real cigarette. Do they even make them any more?
I haven’t seen any in eons, samarm. My guess is that they’d be way too un-PC nowadays. But they were tasty, weren’t they? I used to get so frustrated when I’d share them with my sister (10 years my senior) and, instead of pretending to smoke them like you’re supposed to do, she’d just bite off a big hunk and chew.
All wrong. It was just all wrong. 
Ah. I think we’ve found our answer, samarm.
Just you wait till I seize power… er I mean “get elected”. I’ll make them produce candy cigarettes, candy cigars (made in Cuba on the thighs of hot Latino babes), candy pipes… erm… that’s it for now.
Ooooh, and um . . . maybe outlaw prunes while you’re at it, wouldja? For my protection.
And how about candy hookah pipes?
everything came out okay, yes?
prunes prunes the magical fruit
the more you eat the more you poop…
I know it! Although I learned the second line as “Fetch the engines! Fetch the engines!”
Which would be extremely disturbing in this context… :eek:
I can’t believe I read the whole article but; they’re not called prunes any more. It seems that the Dried Plum Advisory Board wants to change it’s image and henceforth politely asks that prunes be known as dried plums. Really. They lobbied and stuff to get the name change okayed by the gov.
So you see, pru-- errr, dried plums are cool, hipster food dontcha know. Now where’s that rolleyes smiley? With spin like this, a few of those guys would be doubly appropriate.
Prunes make you poo in a hurry? They don’t do that to me - they just give me nice, big fat poopies. (Um, we may have slipped into TMI here.) My husband says the same thing of bran, but that has the same effect on me, too - it doesn’t give me the trots (or “Diapoopus of the Blowhole”, as hubby calls it), but it does bung me up sometimes. My system must be wired funny.
As for my candy poison of choice, I have a 1 kg container of sour gummy bears in my desk at work. They don’t exactly set my innards on fire; it’s a whole 'nother kind of weird feeling in there. Those little bastards are good and SOUR.
This is one of the ways you and I differ. My great-grammy was also a big believe in the prunes=regular theory. I was fed a great many prunes and given lots of prune juice as a little elf. While I might, maybe, perhaps consider eating a prune on a dare, I’d rather be shot than drink prune juice again. As long at it was only a flesh wound, mind you. Prune juice is oily and… blech. There are some things you should never try to juice.