# PSA for Mother's Day: Not Every Woman Is A Mother **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 8, 2026, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908 "2026-05-08T13:28:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/44 "2026-05-11T12:05:39Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > with a dude, I can’t even say, “Thanks, you too!” It might help drive the point home if you said it anyway ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/45 "2026-05-11T12:27:41Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > I can’t imagine what the latter must feel like, especially if it’s your first Mother’s Day without her. It probably depends a lot on how long ago you lost your mom. If she died last week, and you got a white rose, you might lose it. But it’s she died 6 months ago, and you are familiar with that tradition, it’s probably okay. I guess you aren’t allowed to be estranged from your mom at that church? ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/46 "2026-05-11T12:39:55Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > But it’s she died 6 months ago, and you are familiar with that tradition, it’s probably okay. That, or the immediate reminder that your mom is dead smashes the fragile mental barriers you’ve built to get through Mothers day, and you collapse in a wailing puddle in front of the church. YMMV. Seriously, that tradition sounds horrible. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/47 "2026-05-11T12:45:07Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > At our church on Mother’s Day Sunday, we have a tradition where upon walking in, everyone gets a small rose pinned to their chest - red if your mother is still alive, and _as white as a skeleton_ if she’s dead. Why in the world do they do this? I can’t see any purpose, instead it sounds just cruel. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/48 "2026-05-11T12:58:42Z")
Seriously. I can’t imagine the pressure of waiting to see if you get a red or white rose. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/49 "2026-05-11T13:07:01Z")
What pressure? Do you expect to be surprised at which you get? Don’t you already know if your mother is living? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/50 "2026-05-11T13:35:35Z")
It was sort of a joke. I would not expect to learn of a parent’s passing by being presented with a flower. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/51 "2026-05-11T13:36:27Z")
Surprise! Your mother is . . . dead! Although I wonder if you can opt out? And what if you have two dads instead? Or a single father? ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/52 "2026-05-11T13:41:28Z")
They used to do this (perhaps they still do) at the RC churches I attended when I was a churchgoer. They’d asked the women as they entered which color they’d prefer, and “neither” was an acceptable answer. Everyone seemed to be aware of what the colors signified. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/53 "2026-05-11T13:46:12Z")
Why would they only ask women? Don’t males have mothers as well? ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/54 "2026-05-11T13:48:52Z")
Dunno. They did not confer with me when they established this practice. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/55 "2026-05-11T13:50:19Z")
Unless they are pinning red roses on the living mothers and white roses on the dead ones? Zombie mothers deserve respect as well. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/56 "2026-05-11T13:52:06Z")
ISTM the RC is an elaborate death cult and always has been. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/58 "2026-05-11T13:56:00Z")
My memory is foggy, but I am confident no dead moms were wheeled into the church. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/59 "2026-05-11T13:57:05Z")
Did you check for zombies or other undead? ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/60 "2026-05-11T13:58:47Z")
Hmm. Some of the really old women could have been zombies, I guess. Can’t confirm after all. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/61 "2026-05-11T14:13:38Z")
I didn’t miss an RC Sunday mass from 1971 to 1985 (at which point I missed all of them) and I never remember them giving out pins or flowers or anything on Mothers day. Though I agree that zombies & cannibalism is one hell of a way to start a religion. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/62 "2026-05-11T14:29:05Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > My memory is foggy, but I am confident no dead moms were wheeled into the church Dearest daughter, I hope this email finds you well & that you are enjoying your first Mother’s Day. I’m in a bit of a financial crunch & was hoping you could help out. Got a letter from the cemetery; if we don’t make that final payment for Grandma’s funeral, up she comes. Love, Mom ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/63 "2026-05-11T14:45:00Z")
From my point of view, Mother’s Day is for honoring your own mother. The only appropriate circumstance to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to someone not your mom is when you see a mom with her kids on Mother’s Day, who are obviously celebrating the day together. This most often happens at church or a focused event. Any other usage is socially clueless at best. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908/64 "2026-05-11T16:31:02Z")
> [@Pleonast](#): > > The only appropriate circumstance to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to someone not your mom is when you see a mom with her kids on Mother’s Day, who are obviously celebrating the day together. I wouldn’t butt into their event. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psa-for-mothers-day-not-every-woman-is-a-mother/1029908.md?page=4)