# Pseudotriton ruber ruber: Nice Guy **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 19, 2008, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856 "2008-12-19T03:14:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/61 "2008-12-20T18:40:15Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > For those of you not enlightened as to **prr’s** entertaining blend of paralogia and self-righteousness, I had to look up the word paralogia. Apparently, it means this: > [@](#): > > a reasoning disorder characterized by expression of illogical or delusional thoughts and is actually a medical condition described in the [Merriam Webster Medical Dictionary](http://medical.merriam-webster.com/medical/paralogia) > [@phouka](#): > > You know, I was tempted to write a detailed proof showing him where his “logic” led him astray, but it was clear by the second page of the thread that he has far too much invested in his take on just how life, the universe, and gender relations work to allow a competing viewpoint into his head. I fear his fragile ego simply could not withstand the pressure and heat generated when a new idea is pounded into his head. I’m not sure if **prr** ’s fragile ego would shatter, but could you provide your logical detailed analysis for others of us who would like to play along. I haven’t seen much in the way of illogic in what he’s posted. I’m willing to admit I may have missed it. So if you could point out the lapse in logic, that might help. And even if you’re just pointing out that he’s a troll/jerk/ass or whatever, could you provide details, please. I’m not actually following what this is about. I’m going to try to take a swing in the original thread, so you can also point out the flaws in that also. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/62 "2008-12-20T21:47:58Z")
> [@accidentalyuppie](#): > > I think the entire argument is a circular semantic exercise. > > I would define attractive as “someone who exhibits qualities I find appealing and interesting and as such these qualities make me interested in spending time with them”. > > So, then this whole brouhaha is happening because I don’t want to spend time with someone I don’t want to spend time with??? WTF ??? > > Maybe you are sayng that you think “looks” figure too much into my equation of attraction. Sure. I think that all the men I find attractive are undeniably good looking. > > My friends feel the same way about the men they date, although I often don’t understand what the hell they see in some of these fat little balding guys that they fall all over. On the other hand, they fail to appreciate the totally adorablity of the cute little potbellies and bald spots sported by the men I have gone crazy over. > > And my friends are often extraordinarily resistant to the advances of some guys that I think would put Adonis to shame and sometimes they can’t understand why I am put off by some jerk that they think is heaven on earth. > > And it works the other way…I can think of many times when some guy I thought was amazingly attractive only had eyes for some other girl who was no better looking then me, just not me. And she often had no idea of what she was walking away from because she thought some bland boring guy was the cat’s pajamas. > > But normal people take this part of life in stride and don’t make it all about themselves and act like obnoxious assholes and sooner or later you like someone that likes you back and all is right with the world Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Only I’d replace ‘normal’ with ‘some’… IMO, there’s no such thing as normal. Usually these kinds of threads (and discussions, in meatspace) really are just proxy wars for either current experiences or for unresolved hurts in the past… and the Rashomon effect takes over from there. Bottom line is for me–you don’t want to be the one falling into the trap of allowing others to define your self worth. Once a Nice Guy or a … oh, I dunno… Miss Lonelyhearts… learns to get past that temptation to wallow in self pity, it won’t matter if you walk up to someone and have them laugh in your face at the suggestion of a date. You’ll know enough to realize it’s their loss. Nothing sexier than confidence. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/63 "2008-12-20T23:01:30Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > _ **BZZZZZT!** _ > > Nope. Try rereading for comprehension. > > The problem here is not that **prr** made a negative observation about women’s preferences in dating/romance. > > The problem is that he asked for female posters’ honest opinions about a poorly written hypothetical situation and then went all passive-aggressive, mealy mouthed moron jerk when he didn’t like the answers he got. I’m skeptical of your claim. His posts in the thread seemed within the range of reasonable debate to me. Besides, if we assume for the sake of argument that he acted like a moronic jerk, it doesn’t follow that he is a stereotypical “nice guy.” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2008, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/64 "2008-12-21T00:06:53Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > I’m skeptical of your claim. His posts in the thread seemed within the range of reasonable debate to me. > > Besides, if we assume for the sake of argument that he acted like a moronic jerk, it doesn’t follow that he is a stereotypical “nice guy.” Well. He did say that he married his current wife by hanging around her for several years until her marriage broke up. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2008, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/65 "2008-12-21T00:48:15Z")
Learn how to read, would you? ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2008, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/66 "2008-12-21T00:54:48Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well. He did say that he married his current wife by hanging around her for several years until her marriage broke up. I didn’t notice that in the thread, but assuming it’s true, that’s not stereotypical “nice guy” behavior. The stereotypical "nice guy"would hang out with her and listen to her complain about her husband. After her marriage ended she would start having sexual relations with some other guy and complain to him about the new guy. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2008, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/67 "2008-12-21T12:55:47Z")
> [@Ladies, let’s be honest](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-let-s-be-honest/477382/157): > > **Tom** , surely you grasp that in a hypothetical, all elements are identical other the ones that are specified not to be. If you (or **Debb** , actually) would shoot down Brad Pitt by saying “Piss off, ugly twerp” then you may assume that you’d say the same thing to me, and Brad or I would follow up in the same exact manner, etc. What the OP posits is that the main (or sole) variable is the outward appearance of the man, then \*\*maybe the ladies would like to dial back the outrage a little bit, and apply the standards of outrage they would apply to their ideal male behaving the same exact way. \*\* He’s not being the Nice Guy, imo. He’s the asshole telling you to smile as you walk down the street. Where the hell do you get off telling other people how they should feel about getting hit on? How is it any of your goddamned business? Furthermore, your hypothetical is broken, because you’re trying to dictate the woman’s initial reaction to the guy hitting on her. Why would you think it remotely useful to dictate that my reaction to ugly guy and attractive guy is exactly the same? If my reaction were the same to both, then I’d feel the same way about both, **which I obviously don’t.** So, by dictating my reaction, you’re also dictating how hypothetical me feels about the guys. So, I suppose, in your perfect situation, I’d react to persistence exactly the same way with both guys, as the parameters of your hypothetical have dictated my reaction, and, by extension, forced hypothetical me to feel the same way about them, so if I find the ugly dude creepy later, I have to have pulled a switcheroo on my emotions and started finding the guy creepy out of nowhere, so you have support for your thesis that I’m not really turning him down in a way he’d understand. And you don’t find this to be completely obnoxious at all? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2008, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/68 "2008-12-21T13:49:45Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > He’s not being the Nice Guy, imo. He’s the asshole telling you to smile as you walk down the street. Where the hell do you get off telling other people how they should feel about getting hit on? How is it any of your goddamned business? > > Furthermore, your hypothetical is broken, because you’re trying to dictate the woman’s initial reaction to the guy hitting on her. Why would you think it remotely useful to dictate that my reaction to ugly guy and attractive guy is exactly the same? If my reaction were the same to both, then I’d feel the same way about both, **which I obviously don’t.** So, by dictating my reaction, you’re also dictating how hypothetical me feels about the guys. So, I suppose, in your perfect situation, I’d react to persistence exactly the same way with both guys, as the parameters of your hypothetical have dictated my reaction, and, by extension, forced hypothetical me to feel the same way about them, so if I find the ugly dude creepy later, I have to have pulled a switcheroo on my emotions and started finding the guy creepy out of nowhere, so you have support for your thesis that I’m not really turning him down in a way he’d understand. > And you don’t find this to be completely obnoxious at all? Right. You feel justified responding to two men behaving identically, based purely on their looks. Glad we could clear that up. Do you really not understand why I’m finding that curious? Do you also understand that I’m not “dictating” anything, “telling” anybody anything other than my own personal opinion, or making “my own goddamned business” anything other than my own personal reponse? You are, and always have been, free to do as you please–I’m merely requesting politely that you explain why, in your view, women tend to respond so heatedly. If your response is (as some are) that they’re perfectly calm, I’m going to say that’s far from my experience, and I may even dispute your total honesty in saying so. If your response is (as some are) to charge that men are just as emotional, I’m going to have to say that is not only not my experience, but it’s an irrelevant 'tu quoque" besides. If you’re going to complain that the only reason I’m discussing it is that I’m a repulsive male trying to defend my own personal behavior, I’ll try to defend myself by saying that I very rarely speak to women I haven’t been introduced to and that, in my single days, I was a fairly good-looking guy. I’m also going to try to continue being civil to you despite your utter lack of civility to me. I’ve got to go fix my broken hypothetical now. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jaglavak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85f322/32.png) [@Jaglavak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaglavak)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2008, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856/69 "2008-12-23T03:42:29Z")
:: sigh :: OK guys, one more time: [Look yourself in the eye.](http://heartlessbitches.com/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pseudotriton-ruber-ruber-nice-guy/477856.md?page=3)