# \*pssst! don't tell Fenris, but IMHO, he kicks ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 17, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470 "2001-01-17T05:42:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/1 "2001-01-17T05:42:39Z")
It sucks that I can’t in good conscience put this in the pit. The only reason I would is due to language. In any case, I have only met this dude on the boards recently. Since then, I have read quite a few posts. Every one them has been really cool. Funny, relevant, neat-o, whatever. I just wanted to say Fenris, IMHO, kicks fuckin’ ass. Please, no choruses of “For He’s a Jolly Good Doper” or any of that rot, okay? Just come on in, hide behind the couch, the tv, the ottoman for you short-rounds, or behind one of my massive mounds of man-flesh, and prepare to jump out and yell _SURPRISE!_ when he gets here. Thereafter, you may buy the guy a beer, give a lap dance, lay trout at his feet, give him a cheddar cheese log with almonds, or an noogie and cigar or whatever. Just no stupid british songs, okay? Anyway \ Here’s to you, Fenris. Keep it up. \*\*note: If those of you, if any, who are in here before Fenris don’t jump up and shout SURPRISE! it will result in a swift wiffle-ball bat to the genitals. Just FYI. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/2 "2001-01-17T05:52:22Z")
[/no gush zone] Ah, dear **Fenris** , ever the cook, wit, ham (all inclusive) and jolly good fellow. What shall we do with you? [no gush zone] Lubs ya… Chris ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/3 "2001-01-17T05:56:17Z")
\ Just remember… _SURPRISE!_ …or else. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/4 "2001-01-17T21:56:48Z")
Sorry, Fenris. I wanted to let you know that we think you’re cool. But evidently, only a teeming 2 of us think so. So you must be a real dick… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/5 "2001-01-17T22:54:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lexicon \* > \*\*Sorry, Fenris. I wanted to let you know that we think you’re cool. > But evidently, only a teeming 2 of us think so. So you must be a real dick… 😉 \*\* Oy! I was just staying out of range of the bat! Where do I put the beer? If I leave it in the middle of the room, he’ll KNOW something’s up . . . Tisiphone ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/6 "2001-01-17T23:15:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Where do I put the beer? Take it into the back bathroom, and put it in the bathtub next to the 6-lb sacks of jello mix. ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/7 "2001-01-18T00:06:34Z")
All righteee then. :hauls in hand truck loaded with Chilkoot Pale: If nobody else shows up, we’ll at least manage to get pretty drunk. Not that that’s particularly unusual 'round here, but **I** only get drunk a couple times a year. To remember why I don’t do it more often. Man, if I’m the only female that shows, that jello is just going to go to waste… Aahhh, d’we have a smoker’s corner? For meetings of the Friends of Canadian Snowboarding? 😉 Tisiphone ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/8 "2001-01-18T01:30:22Z")
Is this where the party for Fenris is? I brought pizza and rum, that’s all you need to have a party. If anyone hasn’t read Fenris’s posts in the latest “how to be a moderator” thread in ATMB, get yourself over there. But come back real quick, so you don’t miss the surprise. Where can I put the pizza, Lexi? ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/9 "2001-01-18T03:32:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Aahhh, d’we have a smoker’s corner? Actually, we have two. \ that is for regular ol’ tobacco smokers, \ and that’s for smokers who enjoy “a more exotic blend” of smokable. I’ll usually be in the latter. (and they say it makes you stupid. Bah!) > [@](#): > > Is this where the party for Fenris is? > snip > Where can I put the pizza, Lexi? Yeah, but I’m sure it will devolve into drunken debauchery, or at least I hope, because I want to ogle some beautiful boobies. And you can put it over there, next to the life-size statue of Cecil Adams that is sculpted from a huge popcorn ball. And ladies? Don’t forget… if you don’t bring a friend, you get the “stripped, blind-folded and tickled with a feather” punishment. And, don’t forget the surprise! \ ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/10 "2001-01-18T05:59:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lexicon \* > \*\* > > And ladies? Don’t forget… if you don’t bring a friend, you get the “stripped, blind-folded and tickled with a feather” punishment. > \*\* What’s this?! You didn’t say anything about that when I brought beer! No fair making up rules now! This ain’t Calvinball, y’know. [sub]mutter…see if I share my Manatuska Thunderf\*\*\*,then[/sub] Can I bribe my way out? 😃 Tisiphone ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/11 "2001-01-18T10:56:24Z")
I hardly ever go to ATMB so thanks for pointing that thread out. Lexi- Your right, Fenris rocks. I’ll just be preparing for the suprise party. /me stands in corner with box on head ala (sp?) Life of Brian ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/12 "2001-01-18T15:31:29Z")
::Walks in the door. Fumbles for lightswitch. Drops armloads of packages in shock as people yell “Surprise!”:: Thanks folks! \ I’m touched. \ I figured that the first thread dedicated to me would be a nasty pit thread. This is great! Thanks Lexi! \ ::looks around:: \ Hey! Is that a…\ _special_ herbal mix I’m smelling? I’ll be back in a sec… ::Oh so casually saunters over to the sunroom/deck over back door:: Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/13 "2001-01-18T15:44:04Z")
No fewer than THREE people sent me the link to the ATMB thread, nominating it for Threadspotting. I have never received three nominations for a thread before, usually most of them go to TubaDiva. I still can’t figure out who let slip about the roller skates, though. ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/14 "2001-01-18T17:46:21Z")
: passes Fenris funny-smelling homemade cigarette: 'ere. Been saving this for some sort of occasion, and boy, after all your work in ATMB, you deserve it. Hey, I work in tech support too. Wanna swap interesting stories? I got some good ones…that you haven’t heard a billion times. Some well-meaning soul sends me that @##$#@@ story about the tech support guy who tells the user he’s too stupid to own a computer at least once a week. A different well-meaning soul each week, so I can’t get snarky and tell them it was funny the first ten times and it isn’t funny anymore. Get away from me with that feather! Tisiphone ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/15 "2001-01-23T01:15:46Z")
We have a small fan club going for you over in MPSIMS, but you probably never come slumming over there. 😉 Here’ a link…[url=][http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56344](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56344) and we also linked to your original thread in there, for those too lazy to wander over to ATMB. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/16 "2001-01-23T01:54:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aenea \* > \*\*We have a small fan club going for you over in MPSIMS, but you probably never come slumming over there. 😉 > \*\* It’s not that I don’t get over there, it’s just that I rarely think to check beyond the front page, and in MPSIMS, things scroll off the front page in 12 seconds. Thanks for the feedback, btw! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![tsunamisurfer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@tsunamisurfer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tsunamisurfer)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pssst-dont-tell-fenris-but-imho-he-kicks-ass/50470/17 "2001-01-23T06:00:20Z")
Fenris is certifiably twisted–and destined for the Supreme Court, right next to Clarence Baby. Cool? Yep.