# Psst... Hey, restaurant employees (and other service workers)... C'mere. We need to talk. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 26, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907 "2012-09-26T17:55:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/21 "2012-09-26T20:20:04Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > The only problem I have with servers in restaurants is when they: > > 1. Try to seat me next to a baby in an otherwise empty restaurant. > 2. Don’t keep my drink filled. > 3. Don’t write our order down. WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN! You’re not impressing me with your memorization skills, you make me worry that something will go wrong. Agreed. Actually, I only agree with #3 if they get my order wrong, which most servers don’t do. And as for #1, don’t seat me right next to _anyone_ in an empty restaurant (or seat them right next to us). Give me my personal space, man! I think my biggest peeve with restaurant staff at this point is something that’s becoming more common here - the service is great until the plates are cleared, then the server falls off the face of the planet when we’re waiting for our cheque or waiting for them to come process our payment. Your job isn’t done until our meal is paid for, restaurant workers. Don’t make us wait half an hour for our bill. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/22 "2012-09-26T20:22:37Z")
Geeze, can I come eat at your restaurants? I like a little bit of schmoozing before dinner is over and it seems like as soon as the last person is done, wham, the check comes right away. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/23 "2012-09-26T20:44:23Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Watch your language, dearie, both MeanOldLady and I are \*bourbon \*drinkers. As am I, sweetie. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/24 "2012-09-26T20:58:34Z")
Get off my lawn!!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/25 "2012-09-26T21:29:12Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > B) I thought MOL preferred scotch. No? She made a little joke about [burbon this morning](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=666746&highlight=bourbon), which set me off in daydreams of the perfect manhattan. redtail23, I’m not sure you’re old enough to be an ancient crone. Perhaps at the next dopefest I can buy you a drink and we’ll see who is the croniest. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/26 "2012-09-26T21:35:05Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I once got annoyed with a waiter at Claim Jumper constantly calling me “boss,” and asked him not to do it. He complied, and no more needed to be said. > > And the first time I visited the Outback Steakhouse in my neighborhood, I had to call the manager over and ask him to put a stop to the waitress sitting down next to me to write up our order. He complied, and no more needed to be said. > > OP, did you speak with management about the things that distressed you? > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > You sound like a blast to go out to dinner with. Do I? I can’t imagine why. Going out to dinner isn’t a party for me, as a general rule. It’s taking a break from cooking. Not that I never go out to dinner when it _is_ a party; when I do, I’m just as jolly and carefree as anyone else at the table. But usually, in an instance such as that, I’m a participant (or a guest), not the instigator of the festivities. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/27 "2012-09-26T21:44:05Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > And the first time I visited the Outback Steakhouse in my neighborhood, I had to call the manager over and ask him to put a stop to the waitress sitting down next to me to write up our order. He complied, and no more needed to be said. “I did not come to your establishment expecting to fraternize with immodest women, sir, and I strongly advise you to school her in the rules of decorum! Now without further delay, kindly fetch my Bloomin’ Onion!” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/28 "2012-09-26T21:46:16Z")
While i’m never surprised at disagreement here at the Dope, i’m surprised at some of the vitriol over what seemed, to me, to be some fairly reasonable complaints. Also, the fact that the OP complains about these things here rather than making a fuss about them at the restaurant suggests that he is probably not, as some people have suggested, a major pain in the ass as a customer. The “you guys” thing is pretty minor, and not worth getting worked up about. The “bro” and “hon” stuff can, however, get annoying very quickly, especially coming from an 18-year-old. And i say this not simply as a diner, but as someone who, before and during my college days, worked extensively on three continents as a waiter, in a variety of settings from fine dining to large hotel banquets to casual lunch spots. I would never, at any of those places, considered calling a customer “bro.” Even in Australia, a land where superficial egalitarianism is practically a national religion, i didn’t refer to my customers as “mate.” ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/29 "2012-09-26T21:48:45Z")
My pet peeve- when they wipe down a nearby table with some strong smelling cleaner. The astringent, chemical smell does not mix well with dinner! Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/30 "2012-09-26T21:52:49Z")
Or when they both clean AND sweep the place – two hours before closing! ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/31 "2012-09-26T22:10:54Z")
I am not sure the disapproval of **kaylasdad99** ’s comments is warranted. In each case he seems to have approached the person most likely to effect a change and politely made his case. Given that each of his issues is likely to bother other patrons, as well, I would think that the restaurant ownership would prefer both that he call attention to the issues and to do it politely. Most of us have gotten accustomed to being treated casually, but it still bothers a lot of people and if waitstaff is aware of ways that they can avoid offending people, they are more likely to earn repeat business. I find “guys” jarring, but I am old and I am aware that I am just out of sync with modern mores. I expect “hon” and “dearie” in diners and similar locations. The waitresses were addressing people that way when I was young and it seemed to have been ancient practice, then. I don’t get called “bro.” (Even my sibs probaly don’t want me as a brother.) I have been surprised when a waiter knelt or crouched next to my table, but I figure that if their knees can take it, I am not going to make a big deal about it. (It has only happened rarely and never in an upscale establishment.) I never call attention to debris beneath a table so that I do not invoke the gods of irony and unintended consequences to interrupt my dining. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/32 "2012-09-26T22:13:08Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Agreed. Actually, I only agree with #3 if they get my order wrong, which most servers don’t do. And as for #1, don’t seat me right next to _anyone_ in an empty restaurant (or seat them right next to us). Give me my personal space, man! > > I think my biggest peeve with restaurant staff at this point is something that’s becoming more common here - the service is great until the plates are cleared, then the server falls off the face of the planet when we’re waiting for our cheque or waiting for them to come process our payment. Your job isn’t done until our meal is paid for, restaurant workers. Don’t make us wait half an hour for our bill. I had the inverse at a Chinese buffet place recently (this one’s a favorite for both of us, service is normally better than this). Barely saw our “waiter” once he delivered our incorrect drinks (DH asked for “no ice”, got ice, I didn’t) until he noticed we were working on dessert items (surprised he noticed with plates not having been cleared between batches). VERY fast check on table (and we hadn’t been there even our usual time, and were there on a very non-crowded day), and he HOVERED while I was deciding on a tip and signing the slip (he did get a much smaller tip than I consider normal). ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/33 "2012-09-26T22:20:51Z")
> [@Mann\_Slaughter](#): > > First… > When I walk into your restaurant with my girlfriend please don’t greet us with “Hi guys!” The last time I checked I was the only guy in this relationship. A friendly “Good afternoon, ma’am… sir.” works wonders for us. > > Second… > Young lady, I’m old enough to be your father. You don’t know me, nor are we romantically involved, therefore you don’t get to refer to me as “Hon”, “Dear”, or “Babe”. The same applies to you, young man. I am not your “Bro”, “Bruh” or “Brother”, and as a Black man I find myself offended when you call me that. I’m often tempted to ask them, “Do you call the old White men who come here ‘Brother’?” > > Third… > Can someone in management PLEASE inform your employees that they are not to run the fucking sweeper or vacuum the floor in areas where people are EATING!?!? > Last week, my girlfriend and I were having a late breakfast at a small diner. I was halfway through a large, tasty omelet when I happened to glance under the table across the aisle from us. On the floor I saw discarded sugar packets, dust bunnies, and other debris. I called my lady’s attention to it, then said, “Well, at least they’re not pushing the sweeper around.” > > Why in the Hell did I say that? :smack: > > Within minutes our waitress came over with a broom and started sweeping that shit from under the table, TOWARDS US, and into the aisle. I set my fork down, and gave my lady my best Can-you-believe-this-shit? look. After the waitress got the garbage in the aisle about 3 feet from us, she came back with the FUCKING SWEEPER to pick it up! > I was done! I left half of my large, tasty omelet on my plate, uneaten. No way was I going to finish it after that woman had just stirred up enough dust to choke “Pig-Pen”! I agree with all of this, and I work in food. I prefer my staff say “Hello sir/ma’am. How are you today?” to anything else. I’m okay with a friendly “Hey how’s it going.” I don’t like “dear.” I hate “hon” or “babe.” It’s one thing to get friendly with the regulars. I do the same thing myself, but I am at least familiar with them and I never call them by a pet name. That’s just weird. I’m surprised that there was a problem with somebody vacuuming/sweeping during business hours. Every place I’ve worked had that as a closing duty. Something done after service. Only time it was done during was sweeping and that was when something had been dropped, spilled or broken. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/34 "2012-09-26T22:36:53Z")
Only once has a waiter actually sat next to me in the booth to take my order. It startled me…but, shrug. So what, really? I gave him my order, he got up to send it to the chef, all’s well. Being called cute names? Again, what harm? I can be “honey” all you want. I’ve had “boss” and “captain.” I kinda liked it! As **Sister Vigilante** mentioned, keep my drink filled. I’m easy to please! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/35 "2012-09-26T22:48:00Z")
> [@Mann\_Slaughter](#): > > First… > When I walk into your restaurant with my girlfriend please don’t greet us with “Hi guys!” The last time I checked I was the only guy in this relationship. Sorry, your girlfriend is so ugly and manish we confused you for a same sex couple. ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/36 "2012-09-26T22:55:34Z")
> [@Mann\_Slaughter](#): > > First… > When I walk into your restaurant with my girlfriend please don’t greet us with “Hi guys!” The last time I checked I was the only guy in this relationship. A friendly “Good afternoon, ma’am… sir.” works wonders for us. Hey gramps, most people less than a 100 recognize that “guys” is generally used as a gender neutral term when refering to groups. But hey, I suppose it wouldn’t do not to constantly recognize your status as the man or whatever bullshit idea you have in your head that makes you think everyone’s gender must constantly be mentioned every possible moment. > [@Chimera](#): > > Sorry, your girlfriend is so ugly and manish we confused you for a same sex couple. This board’s rules will not allow me to respond to this in the way it deserves. Rest assured you are a complete and utter waste of oxygen ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/37 "2012-09-26T22:56:31Z")
> [@AqualungBats5th](#): > > This board’s rules will not allow me to respond to this in the way it deserves. Rest assured you are a complete and utter waste of oxygen And you are too stupid to grasp the joke. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/38 "2012-09-26T23:02:07Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > I am not sure the disapproval of **kaylasdad99** ’s comments is warranted. Are you serious? He goes to casual dining chain restaurants and cries like a little bitch to the manager because someone called him “boss” too many times or the waitress sat down to write an order? I’m going to assume the guy didn’t call him boss while spitting in his face and the girl wasn’t picking nits out of his hair while she sat down to pretend to be friendly with him so being that ridiculous over such trivial things makes him seem utterly ridiculous and probably fairly embarrassing to those who he might be dining with. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/39 "2012-09-26T23:05:46Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I once got annoyed with a waiter at Claim Jumper constantly calling me “boss,” and asked him not to do it. He complied, and no more needed to be said. > > And the first time I visited the Outback Steakhouse in my neighborhood, I had to call the manager over and ask him to put a stop to the waitress sitting down next to me to write up our order. He complied, and no more needed to be said. I’ve got a question about your use of “had to” and “needed.” ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/40 "2012-09-26T23:12:37Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I once got annoyed with a waiter at Claim Jumper constantly calling me “boss,” and asked him not to do it. He complied, and no more needed to be said. > > And the first time I visited the Outback Steakhouse in my neighborhood, I had to call the manager over and ask him to put a stop to the waitress sitting down next to me to write up our order. He complied, and no more needed to be said. > > OP, did you speak with management about the things that distressed you? Ugh. You sound like my dad. I haven’t gone to a restaurant with him since I was old enough to be able to refuse. He’s a nightmare to service staff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907.md?page=3)