# Psst... Hey, restaurant employees (and other service workers)... C'mere. We need to talk. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 26, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907 "2012-09-26T17:55:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/121 "2012-09-29T21:18:21Z")
I completely agree with the OP. **Greeting** When I go to a restaurant, this is what I expect and DEMAND: I will be addressed as follows: “Hello kind sir, excellent to have your company at our establishment on this evening” If it is morning then “evening” MUST be replaced with “morning”. If it’s noon or after then they MUST say “this fine day”. **Seating** I WILL be seated in a booth not too near the kitchen and not too near the bathrooms and not too near the front doors and not too near the noisy bar. If the restaurant does not currently have booths then they should make that explicitly clear in any and all advertising including signage in front so as not to surprise me. For example: The Diner We do not have booths **Order Taking** You will take copious notes regarding the specifics of our desired meals Do not go on at length about the specials - there should never be more than 1 special You will ask the lady to my direct left for her order first, if that person is not female then you will move in a clockwise direction around the table locating the first female for ordering If the table is odd shaped then protocol insists that you locate the female at the northern most point of the table **Delivering Food** You will NOT ask me whether I ordered X or Y Part of your payment is to understand our requirements for our meal and one of those requirements includes which meal goes with which person DO NOT slide any my personal objects out of the way to make room for the plate…it is my responsibility to provide adequate space on the table for my meal, if I have not done that then you are within your rights to return the meal to the kitchen without explaining why **Refilling My Drink** Humans consume liquids at different rates, therefore you must invest some minimal energy at determining that rate and then refilling when one of two conditions is met: 1. Glass is at or less than 38% full 2. Based on the calculated rate, the remaining portion of fluid in the glass will be consumed prior to your next scheduled stop, including unexpected requests from other tables **Tipping** If you are able to work within these very basic guidelines, then you will be rewarded with a generous tip, either 7.2% or $4.75, whichever is less ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/122 "2012-09-29T22:17:28Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Look. It’s my sole indulgence to white racism. Don’t take it from me. They think we don’t tip well, and god help me, it bothers me. No idea why this one bugs me when I couldn’t give a shit about any other stereotypes they have about blacks. Maybe this one grates because I know a \*\*lot \*\*of black people who don’t tip or who tip low. So I over-compensate. I know how dumb it is. Leave me alone about it. Single white woman checking in. I over tip as well when I eat by myself, just because of the stereotype. When I’m out with female friends, I check to be sure we are tipping enough and if not, I toss more money on the table. I agree with you about how dumb it is. Doesn’t matter, I still do it. I’m certainly not going to bust your chops over it when I do the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/123 "2012-09-29T22:37:14Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Look. It’s my sole indulgence to white racism. Don’t take it from me. They think we don’t tip well, and god help me, it bothers me. No idea why this one bugs me when I couldn’t give a shit about any other stereotypes they have about blacks. Maybe this one grates because I know a \*\*lot \*\*of black people who don’t tip or who tip low. So I over-compensate. I know how dumb it is. Leave me alone about it. I don’t think it’s a White Racism thing at all. It’s observed behavior. I can’t speak as a server, but I worked overnights as security in a restaurant, midnight to 5am, and saw a fuck load of no-tipping or mere pennies tips from black people. I also saw an awful lot of “I’m not paying because that burger (that I ate 100% of) was COLD!” shit fit temper tantrums to get out of paying. But then at the places I was at, it wasn’t just black people, young asians were really bad about it too. I watched a table of 8 college age Hmong kids make all sorts of special orders and demands, then leave no tip at all. Fuck, I had to work with the lone server in the place to make sure they paid all of their bills and didn’t conveniently ‘forget’ to pay some of their tabs because “oh, we thought this other guy paid it!” like they tried to pull. Part of it may be the kind of people who go into a place at 3am to eat, because maybe a third of the white people didn’t tip either, but while that wasn’t true of the majority of white people, it was true about the overwhelming majority of black people. So please, let’s leave both black tipping and “white racism” out of this, ok? ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/124 "2012-09-29T22:51:44Z")
Well, my fellow over tippers, may our irrational guilt balance out the sheer assholishness of patrons who thnk it makes them big and powerful to treat waitstaff poorly. RaftPeople is killing me. Per usual. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/125 "2012-09-29T23:02:35Z")
Sigh. _tips Chimera 35 percent_ ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/126 "2012-09-29T23:15:05Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > So please, let’s leave both black tipping and “white racism” out of this, ok? What are you, the Lord of the Thread? I’m sharing my racism-relevant anecdote whether you like it or not. Anyway, I worked in my aunt’s Mexican restaurant for a couple of years while I was in high school, and didn’t notice much of a difference in tipping behavior between black people and white people, so my personal anecdote, being offered later in the thread than your personal anecdote, wins. I overtip mostly because of my years working in a restaurant, because I know what a shit job it can be and how much it sucks to have people treat you like you are their personal valet or heap mounds of abuse on you just because this is one of the only situations in their life where they are able to hold that much power over another human being. So I overtip. Unless I have to wait forever for the check, and then all bets are off. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/127 "2012-09-29T23:20:12Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > What are you, the Lord of the Thread? I’m sharing my racism-relevant anecdote whether you like it or not. I was, until some asshole threw the One Moderator into a volcano and destroyed my power. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/128 "2012-09-30T03:49:31Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I was, until some asshole threw the One Moderator into a volcano and destroyed my power. Could you find like a ring or something? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/129 "2012-09-30T04:24:26Z")
> [@Mann\_Slaughter](#): > > I am not “THAT guy”! 😃 Yeah you are. > [@Meyer6](#): > > As for the sweeping, I really don’t get that. How much dust was in this place that the waitress raised a choking cloud of dust just by sweeping under one table? I’ve seen waiters/waitresses sweep up messes plenty of times, and there has never been an appreciable amount of dust raised. This sounds strange to me. This. The OP complains when there is debris under the other table, the OP complains when the staff goes to clean that debris. Pick one side or the other of this argument, you don’t get both sides. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/130 "2012-09-30T22:11:14Z")
> [@j666](#): > > May I add one? Putting my napkin on my lap. Err, most of the highest end restaurants do this. I’ve had it done to me once, when I went to a five star establishment. I have a friend who’s a nightmare about this kind of stuff. He gets £200 a week from his parents and was having a celebratory dinner to celebrate getting into acting (his father bought a production company). He asked for ice for his red wine, then we stayed and chatted for half an hour after the waitresses shift ended. When she informed us of this, he asked for a contribution from all of us - fair play. However, despite me paying more than my meal came to, the waitress actually came back to the table since she hadn’t been paid enough. One of our mutual friends said she’d get paid overtime, but three of my family members have at some point in their life waited tables and none of them have ever been paid overtime. He also complains that his friends don’t ever chip in, when I always do and never ask others to when I invite them out to eat. Edit: He also asks for salty, sweet, then salty popcorn. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/131 "2012-09-30T23:52:36Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Err, most of the highest end restaurants do this. I’ve had it done to me once, when I went to a five star establishment. No, not most. Some, but not most. I’ve had it done to me once, as well. Now I know to put the napkin on my lap before they pour the water. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/132 "2012-10-01T01:53:45Z")
To the OP from a former waitress: **Go fuck yourself.** BTW, to those complaining about the waitstaff kneeling down in front of you, its called “down service” and in some restaurants they make you do it. It’s supposed to be respectful. [rainbow]The more you know![/rainbow] > [@Chimera](#): > > Sorry, your girlfriend is so ugly and manish we confused you for a same sex couple. I just want you to know I chortled over this! ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/133 "2012-10-01T06:59:28Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > With all due respect, you sound like a giant pain in the ass customer that restaurants would be better off without. They can’t win. You complain about stuff being left on the floor and people cleaning around you in the same rant. If you are there for a late breakfast, when do you think they are going to prepare the place for lunch? Gotta agree with this one. If the hostess or staff called you “Boy”, as in “hey boy…where is Sheriff Branford?” \* Then, I could see your racial comments having merit. But listen Bro. You need to lighten up a bit. The one gripe you have that has some merit is the sweeping one, but your description in the OP makes it hard to feelmsorry for you. Why not politely ask them to stop until you are finished? If that doesn’t work, seek the manager. Management can’t fix a problem they are not aware of. But you basically ruined your own breakfast by not opening your mouth. I understand your point that you shouldnt have to explain to anyone why sweeping next to a customer still eating isn’t a great idea, but the employee might be new, might not have a brain, or has something else on his mind. Sometimes people just aren’t thinking. That’s why we have the word “idiot” I. Our vocabulary, Bro! Now ease up, and “slap my 'fro, bro!” \*. Bonus point if you know where this line came from.l ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/134 "2012-10-01T16:10:59Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > My husband can get that way. That’s one reason we RARELY go out to a restaurant. The last time we went out for a meal was for a funeral. Actually, the last TWO times. The third was my son’s last dinner before Boot Camp. That was in 2008. > > No problem with fast food - he tells me what he wants, he stays in the car, and I go in and get it. > > He can be really cranky at times and frankly, I would hate for someone’s day to be ruined because he was acting like a jackass. > > Me, I’m inordinately nice. Really. It’s a tough job - and it isn’t right to take my issues out on someone who is just trying to make a living. I can relate except my husband tends to try to “tease” and “joke with” the servers which is embarrassing for everyone but himself. He isn’t funny and the laugh that he is so proud of getting out of the server is nervous, uncomfortable and obviously forced. " Do you have any henweigh?" “Sorry, sir, what?” “Do you have any henweigh?” “What’s henweigh?” “I don’t know. About 8 or 9 pounds. AHAHAHAHA” Kill. Me. Now. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/135 "2012-10-01T16:48:52Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Err, most of the highest end restaurants do this. I’ve had it done to me once, when I went to a five star establishment. Only because you ain’t got no home training and didn’t put your napkin in your lap right after you sat down. It’s a social compact. Two-way street sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/136 "2012-10-01T17:31:00Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Only because you ain’t got no home training and didn’t put your napkin in your lap right after you sat down. It’s a social compact. Two-way street sort of thing. I’ve been at a couple of high-falutin’ places where the waiter picked the napkin up from the table and placed it in my lap as soon as I was shown to my seat. He didn’t even give me a chance! I don’t particularly care for this practice either, incidentally. It feels borderline gropey. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/137 "2012-10-01T19:42:37Z")
And yet, last time I sat at a table, spread my legs, and gestured to the waitress with my head, while mouthing “Go for it”, they asked me to leave. There’s just no winning with some people. ---
**Author:** ![MizGrand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@MizGrand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizGrand)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/138 "2012-10-02T14:38:15Z")
LOVE IT, Ratpeople! We should procure a reservation at a dining establishment to enjoy each others’ company. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907/139 "2012-10-02T16:13:16Z")
> [@j666](#): > > May I add one? Putting my napkin on my lap. I am all grown up, I know what to do with a napkin, and I am not comfortable with a stranger’s hand in that general area. Hell, that’s how I ended up getting married. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psst-hey-restaurant-employees-and-other-service-workers-cmere-we-need-to-talk/635907.md?page=6)