# Psychiatrist demonstrates good impulse control-sends payment of \*Ahem\* unclean nature **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323 "2004-10-09T03:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/1 "2004-10-09T03:36:53Z")
The guy’s occupation is what I found most shocking. He’s supposedly helping others get their problems sorted out, and when he gets a parking ticket, [he pays the citation with notes that smell of ass.](http://www.whotv.com/Global/story.asp?S=2402969) :eek: Perhaps he misread the inscription: _This note is legal tender for all debts, public and privates_. I don’t want to know where he keeps his Amex card 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/2 "2004-10-09T04:08:33Z")
The man in the stall cried out, “There’s no paper in here!” “Use a dollar,” I replied. …and thats why he had shit all over his hands and four quarters up his ass, your honor… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/3 "2004-10-09T04:52:20Z")
> [@Darth Nader](#): > > The man in the stall cried out, “There’s no paper in here!” > > “Use a dollar,” I replied. > > …and thats why he had shit all over his hands and four quarters up his ass, your honor… LOL! 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/4 "2004-10-09T10:46:51Z")
> [@](#): > > If convicted, McPike could face up to 30 days in jail and a fine of up to 500 dollars. After Dr. McPike pays his fine, I can just imagine the next news story: DNA tests confirmed that the gooey white substance dripping from the credit card was McPike’s own semen, apparently produced during a marathon masturbation session. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/5 "2004-10-09T13:00:46Z")
I know quite a few psychiatrists. It seems like at least 50% of them must have gone into psychiatry out of a desire to address their own psychiatric diagnoses. And many of them are even better at their profession because they can truly empathize with their patients. But man, some of the pshrinks I’ve met are just _crazy_! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/6 "2004-10-09T13:15:20Z")
**Darth** please come over and clean the chewed up bagel off my computer screen. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/7 "2004-10-10T05:37:13Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > After Dr. McPike pays his fine, I can just imagine the next news story: > > DNA tests confirmed that the gooey white substance dripping from the credit card was McPike’s own semen, apparently produced during a marathon masturbation session. Yeah, if he’s convicted, what do you wanna bet the judge waves the fine? I mean, who’s gonna want to deal with that? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/8 "2004-10-10T06:21:28Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > I know quite a few psychiatrists. It seems like at least 50% of them must have gone into psychiatry out of a desire to address their own psychiatric diagnoses. Is it really that common? A few years back, I installed a new fancy-pants photocopier at a swank residence belonging to a couple who were _both_ practicing in the field of psychiatry. The first time I got the “something’s wrong” vibe from them is when they drew our attention to a middling nude portrait over the stairs of a girl who appeared to be 14 or 15. “Our _daughter._ Pretty nice, isn’t she?” :dubious: Make polite comments, careful to specifically refer to the _painting_, not the subject. That could probably be overlooked, but… Moving along, we start to remove the old copier (also from our company) and get a harangue from both sides, about how they were “on to us” and that they knew it was no coincidence that their copier always broke down when they were copying things that were critical of the Czech government, who we were obviously in cahoots with. They knew that everything that they copied was being relayed by satellite to Prague, too. They wanted us to prove to them that the new machine contained no transmitter. I can see one delusional mental health professional (although hopefully not professionally,) but how did they wind up teaming up? Sweet Jesus. Anyway, back on topic: Someone in the anagram group that I check from time-to-time just noted that “Ronald McPike” = “Mean old prick.” Heh heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/9 "2004-10-10T13:11:16Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] A few years back, I installed a new fancy-pants photocopier at a swank residence belonging to a couple who were _both_ practicing in the field of psychiatry. The first time I got the “something’s wrong” vibe from them is when they drew our attention to a middling nude portrait over the stairs of a girl who appeared to be 14 or 15. “Our _daughter._ Pretty nice, isn’t she?” :dubious: Make polite comments, careful to specifically refer to the _painting_, not the subject. That could probably be overlooked, but… Moving along, we start to remove the old copier (also from our company) and get a harangue from both sides, about how they were “on to us” and that they knew it was no coincidence that their copier always broke down when they were copying things that were critical of the Czech government, who we were obviously in cahoots with. They knew that everything that they copied was being relayed by satellite to Prague, too. They wanted us to prove to them that the new machine contained no transmitter. [QUOTE] Holy shit! That was thanks for the laugh. I needed that to help wake me up while the coffee finished brewing. Damn funny story. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/10 "2004-10-10T13:17:11Z")
So he shouldn’t have used the cash, even if it falls in the toilet? Of course he’s lying, but what if it did fall in the toilet? You’re damn right I’m gonna use it. And what better place to give it to then a tax collector. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/11 "2004-10-10T13:23:14Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > So he shouldn’t have used the cash, even if it falls in the toilet? Of course he’s lying, but what if it did fall in the toilet? You’re damn right I’m gonna use it. And what better place to give it to then a tax collector. One should always wash shitted bills by hand with Woolite. Before using them. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/12 "2004-10-10T21:45:16Z")
Are we to conclude that the shrink in the OP presents anal-expulsive tendencies, borderline personality, and issues of impulse-control and hostility towards authority figures? 😃 :rolleyes: :wally ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/13 "2004-10-11T16:51:54Z")
I love his alibi > [@](#): > > McPike told police the money fell into a toilet and was retrieved to pay the parking ticket, police said. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/14 "2004-10-11T17:07:14Z")
Oh, great. Yet another stupid fucking lame-brain law: “harassment of a public official”. Meanwhile, public officials can harass, neglect, insult, condescend, and sling shit with impunity. Why the hell should there be special laws that protect government but not its citizens? And if it’s a redundant law (presuming all citizens are protected from harassment), get rid of it. Damn. Just plain damn. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychiatrist-demonstrates-good-impulse-control-sends-payment-of-ahem-unclean-nature/268323/15 "2004-10-11T19:37:40Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > One should always wash shitted bills by hand with Woolite. Before using them. “If you need money laundered, just leave it outside your door in the morning.” - Fat Tony