# Psychological fact...Men don't see their women aging? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423 "2009-08-14T17:04:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2009, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423/21 "2009-08-15T14:20:37Z")
If this concept were true, the phrase “trophy wife” would be meaningless. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423/22 "2009-08-15T16:29:38Z")
Another proof that I’m not the only one: Voltaire’s song Anniversary (recommended to me by the [thread=473162]SDMB[/thread], as a matter of fact) > [@Voltaire](#): > > And they said our love would fade > it gets stronger everyday > And they say that beauty fades > You’re more beautiful than ever > They said we’d drift away > We’re still standing here > And it feels like every day’s > Our Anniversary [Lyric Wiki link](http://lyricwiki.org/Voltaire:Anniversary) I’d never heard of Voltaire before the SDMB recommendation, but the song is so us! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423/23 "2009-08-15T16:55:12Z")
My wife has put on quite a bit of weight since a bout with breast cancer a couple of years ago. But, as I tell her, “It isn’t your body I like making love to, it’s _you_!” And I’m not lying when I say so. ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423/24 "2009-08-15T17:00:54Z")
I was married 24 years and never saw my wife aging. Now, 10 years after divorce, I still manage to catch myself in automatic responses - When I see someone like her looking around at a street corner my quick reflexes mind says “Oops! Did I forget I was supposed to pick her up today?” Then my slow reality mind says “Wait, she doesn’t get picked up any more. And also, that’s what she looked like in college. She’d look different now.” ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423/25 "2009-08-15T17:32:08Z")
Not a dude, but I think we all tend to look at people we love in a different way than we would if we were viewing them objectively. My boyfriend is getting some gray hair even though he is still in his 20s and I just think it’s cute. I can recognize that he has put on some weight since we first met several years ago, but it doesn’t bother me. Likewise with other people I care about. I never thought “ew” at my family members who were heavyset, gray-haired, or wrinkled cuz, hey, I love them! ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423/26 "2009-08-16T00:54:29Z")
I think that we generally get an image of someone in our mind from the first few times we meet them and, bar sudden changes, we superimpose that image onto what they actually look like years later. That doesn’t mean no husband or wife will ever realise their partner’s looking older, but it’ll take a sudden change in circumstances or mentality to really appreciate those changes. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2009, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423/27 "2009-08-16T03:35:25Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > If this concept were true, the phrase “trophy wife” would be meaningless. Then I introduce you to the term “starter wife”. Really the idea of a trophy wife is idiotic. Your financial wealth is likely to grow over time but her looks are guranteed to fade. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2009, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423/28 "2009-08-16T04:51:52Z")
[QUOTE=1890s Pop] > **[Traditional Scottish Songs - When You and I Were Young, Maggie](http://www.rampantscotland.com/songs/blsongs_young.htm)** > > Traditional Scottish Songs [/quote] [QUOTE=1890s Pop] [http://www.1lovepoems.com/pb4.shtml](http://www.1lovepoems.com/pb4.shtml) [/quote] Hey, time goes by. Girls, unequally, get graded on appearance, and the appearance associated with lustworthiness is a young appearance. So freaking what? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychological-fact-men-dont-see-their-women-aging/506423.md?page=1)