# Psychologically unhealthy songs? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 9, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064 "2006-06-09T14:28:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jombi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jombi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jombi)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/1 "2006-06-09T14:28:57Z")
I’m talking about songs in which the lyrics – though usually very “romantic” – actually express a very unhealthy attitude toward another. The kind of thing that would cause your therapist to make that unhappy face. This is not the same as another thread describing lyrics that are clearly intended to be one thing but interpreted by ditzy people as romantic. My best example is the “As Long as You Love Me” by the Backstreet Boys. No, I’m not a fan of the band. But when I hear the song on teh radio, it grates on me that these lyrics are presented as romantic when they actually signal someone who is desperately needy and has no self respect or judgment: I don’t care who you are Where you’re from What you did As long as you love me Who you are Where you’re from Don’t care what you did As long as you love me Must be plenty of other examples. Anyone else notice this in songs?? ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/2 "2006-06-09T14:37:45Z")
Ah. My perennial favorite, which is sometimes _still_ played at weddings: “This one goes out to the one I love. This one goes out to the one I left behind, a simple prop to occupy my time. This one goes out to the one I love.” Then, later the third line is replaced with: “ **Another prop has occupied my time.** ” Definitely not what you’d want playing at your wedding (or, as another for-instance, in a montage about prisoners who miss their families). As for the OP’s example. . .well, that’s not necessarily _too_ unhealthy, if it’s referring only to misdeeds that occurred before the relationship began. Though, to be fair, that sentiment would be better expressed with “as long as I love you” than “as long as you love me.” ---
**Author:** ![Jombi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jombi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jombi)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/3 "2006-06-09T14:46:15Z")
> [@Angel of the Lord](#): > > As for the OP’s example. . .well, that’s not necessarily _too_ unhealthy, if it’s referring only to misdeeds that occurred before the relationship began. Though, to be fair, that sentiment would be better expressed with “as long as I love you” than “as long as you love me.” Well, if it was my daughter or son saying that to someone with a history of spousal abuse, child abandonment, running a meth lab in the rec room, and killing a man in Reno just to watch him die, I’d still say that’s an unhealthy sentiment. Even if it all occurred before the relationship began. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/4 "2006-06-09T14:57:18Z")
My favorite is “Every Breath You Take”, by the Police, when used as a ‘romantic’ dance for the wedding couple. Because obsessive, possessive, controlling stalkers are _romantic_. My runner-up was Clay Gayken’s “Invisible”. Where the singer creepily follows around the, er, _person_ he desires, without ever revealing his presence. Yeah, stalkers are great. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/5 "2006-06-09T15:00:54Z")
I think most “romantic” songs are sort of disturbing when you actually think about it. Can’t live without you, can’t breathe without you, can’t tie my freakin’ shoes without you. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m looking for in a life partner. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/6 "2006-06-09T15:10:03Z")
Steve Earle’s [_More Than I Can Do_](http://www.steveearle.net/lyrics/ly-ifeel.php#MoreThanICanDo) is a straight stalker song. > [@Steve Earle](#): > > You told me that I got to stop > But it’s more than I can do > And that ain’t nothing new > 'Cause we both know that I’m crazy about you > > You said you’re gonna call the cops > But I ain’t gonna run > Because you’re the only one > There ain’t no way I could live without you ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/7 "2006-06-09T15:11:29Z")
How about Elvis’ “Baby, Let’s Play House,” in which he sings “I’d rather see you dead, little girl, than with another man”? ---
**Author:** ![Calliope\_82](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ba8739/32.png) [@Calliope\_82](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calliope_82)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/8 "2006-06-09T15:26:02Z")
Clay Atkin’s “Invisible” Opening of the chorus: If I were invisible, Then I could watch you in your room It I were invisible, Then I’d make you mine tonight :eek: Is this a song about stalking and rape to anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/9 "2006-06-09T15:27:19Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > How about Elvis’ “Baby, Let’s Play House,” in which he sings “I’d rather see you dead, little girl, than with another man”? That’s “Run for your Life” by the Beatles. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/10 "2006-06-09T15:29:26Z")
I know it’s not a romantic song, but the Kelly Clarkson song “Because of You” is the most unhealthy thing I’ve heard on the radio in ages. The singer needs to grow up and shut up and aiiieee! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/11 "2006-06-09T15:30:28Z")
“Mama” by Genesis is pretty disturbing. “Lovefool” by the Cardigans makes me puke: > [@](#): > > So I cry, I pray and I beg > > Love me love me > Say that you love me > Fool me fool me > Go on and fool me > Love me love me > Pretend that you love me > Leave me leave me > Just say that you need me > Love me love me > Say that you love me > Leave me leave me > Just say that you need me > I cant care bout anything but you… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/12 "2006-06-09T15:33:42Z")
There were a whole lotta masochistic gal-beatin’ lyrics in the 1920s: My Man, Mean to Me, Moanin’ Low, Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man (for some reason I can’t get _any_ goddam urls to link today, so you’ll have to Google the lyrics yourselves) . . . ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/13 "2006-06-09T15:34:51Z")
Dan Hicks’ “How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away?” ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/14 "2006-06-09T16:23:33Z")
> [@Alias](#): > > That’s “Run for your Life” by the Beatles. Same lyric, different songs. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/15 "2006-06-09T16:26:59Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > There were a whole lotta masochistic gal-beatin’ lyrics in the 1920s: My Man, Mean to Me, Moanin’ Low, Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man (for some reason I can’t get _any_ goddam urls to link today, so you’ll have to Google the lyrics yourselves) . . . Don’t forget “Johnny Get Ang-ur-rry” Only verbal abuse in that one, but definitely in the same vein. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Logan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Don\_Logan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Logan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/16 "2006-06-09T16:32:50Z")
“Don’t Cry Out Loud”, and (snicker), “He Hit Me (And it Felt Like a Kiss)” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/17 "2006-06-09T17:15:33Z")
> [@Alias](#): > > That’s “Run for your Life” by the Beatles. And the Beatles took the line from the Elvis song. John Lennon stated so in his interview with _Playboy_. Isn’t “Johnny Angel” about sitting by the phone, waiting for the guy to call? What about “Wishin’ and Hopin’” from Dusty Springfield. _Wear your hair just for him Do the things he likes to do_ Basically, change yourself to fit his vision of what he wants. Wasn’t there a song in the Disney movie _Summer Magic_ called “Feminity” about how you have to be all girly and pretend to be something you’re not so you can “trap a beau”? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/18 "2006-06-09T17:21:35Z")
Heart, All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You. A married woman drives alone, picks up a stranger on the side of the road, takes him to a hotel, gets laid and pregnant then goes back after the baby is born to tell him…you were just a sperm donor cause my man couldn’t get me knocked up, have a nice life. Yea, that’s healthy. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/19 "2006-06-09T17:23:07Z")
Or this little ditty… > [@](#): > > Hey Joe. Where you goin’ with that gun in your hand? > I’m goin’ down to shoot my old lady now > You know I caught her messin’ 'round with another man ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064/20 "2006-06-09T17:26:07Z")
Air Supply’s [Without You](http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~maverick/old_public_html/lyrics/WithoutYou.html) There’s not much to the lyrics, except this over and over again: - I can’t live, if living is without you. I can’t give, I can’t give any more. Can’t live, if living is without you. Can’t give, I can’t give any more. \* Dude, get over it! Giving up on life because your girl left you isn’t really a healthy attitude to have… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/psychologically-unhealthy-songs/360064.md?page=2)