# Public apology to Wally **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2000, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535 "2000-04-03T15:57:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/1 "2000-04-03T15:57:00Z")
I feel I owe Wally an apology and I’d like to do it publicly here. I started a thread for people to apply for a custom Wally-built sig line. I did it on a lark and it was meant to be a joke and a token of respect for your particular brand of dry, deviant humor. I have had many a laugh from your recent comments. Now, I see a couple of posters giving you a load of grief over it. I didn’t foresee this and it certainly was not my intention that you be flamed, Wally. I realize the people giving you a hard time about his are just a couple of lame putzes, but I still feel guilty. If I have offended you in any or caused you anger, Wally, I offer my sincere apology. * * * I’m _still_ on Wally’s shitlist. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/2 "2000-04-03T16:18:00Z")
::: steps up to the microphone ::: On behalf of Wally I would like to accept this public apology. OOOPPPPSSS sorry, I think Wally’s around here somewhere. * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/3 "2000-04-03T16:26:00Z")
A gracious gesture on your part, Unc, but **nobody** can forsee the actions of putzes & schmucks. * * * Grow your own dope! Plant a man. (Wally made me say it) ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/4 "2000-04-04T05:23:00Z")
Unc – As penance, I am applying to you for an UncleBeer-built profile page. Yes, this is a lark and I do have respect for your off-beat humor. I, like you, don’t forsee you having to do profile pages for 80+ dopers. ## So, whadda ya say? Puh-leez? Huh? C’mon… Voted **Best Sport** And narrowly averted the despised moniker **Smiley Master** “Avast and ahoy, landlubbers! Shore leave’s in August. Hide your women.” – A WallySig ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/5 "2000-04-04T05:50:00Z")
Okay, I be a sucker. Here’s yer’s Chief. Homepage: [http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil](http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil) Occupation: Swabbie Pounder, First Class Location: Anywhere you feckless landlubbers ain’t. Interests: Navy Chow, Port of Call, The Head, Air Superiority ICQ Number: CVN69 ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/6 "2000-04-04T05:51:00Z")
Unc, it never even occured to me to blame you for anything. No apology is necessary. In fact, the sig thread was kind of fun. You did absolutely nothing wrong. So, what did they say about me at the Doper meeting? No, don’t spare my feelings. Spill it all. * * * **Death to all fanatics!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/7 "2000-04-03T18:01:00Z")
You jackass UncleBeer! See what you did? You made Wally act all pitiful-like! And I’m not even going to ask for a profile page, 'cause it would suck anyway! Booooo! Down with UncleBeer! Beer… Hmmm, beer? Beer! Wait, forget what I said! Beer, beer, beer! Hooray for UncleBeer! (Sorry, I’m at work, it’s all nice and hot outside and I want a beer _really_ bad.) * * * Just make yourself comfy while I shoot nuclear particles into your heart. (Courtesy of Wally) ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/8 "2000-04-03T18:31:00Z")
Profile for Democritus: Homepage: http//www.haveyourheartready.com Occupation: Push the button to make the thing go around. Location: Wherever the beer is. Interests: Shiny things, mannish children. ICQ#= I forget. Use snail mail. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/9 "2000-04-03T18:46:00Z")
I am the proud owner of the first official UncleBeer Profile! I post it with pride (Ayesha’s gonna be sooo jealous)! * * * Homepage: [http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil](http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil) Occupation: Swabbie Pounder, First Class Location: Anywhere you feckless landlubbers ain’t. Interests: Navy Chow, Port of Call, The Head, Air Superiority ICQ Number: CVN69 – An UncleBeer Profile “Avast and ahoy, landlubbers! Shore leave’s in August. Hide your women.” – A WallySig ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/10 "2000-04-03T18:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by ChiefScott: > \*\*Unc – > > As penance, I am applying to you for an UncleBeer-built profile page. > Yes, this is a lark and I do have respect for your off-beat humor. > I, like you, don’t forsee you having to do profile pages for 80+ dopers. > > So, whadda ya say? Puh-leez? Huh? C’mon… > > \*\* Heh. 80 profile pages! Back in my day we built 300 doper profile pages!!! Heck, “back in my day” was just up until January! And no, it isn’t a task I’d recommend to anyone. It could accurately be described as “a huge pain in the ass”. * * * – From an actual catalog: “Disco balls create an enchanting, dazzling effect of light shafts, adding movement and glamour to any occasion” _the Abrams’ bris was certainly memorable_ O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Chrome\_Toaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Chrome\_Toaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chrome_Toaster)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/11 "2000-04-03T18:54:00Z")
Dear UncleBeer, Since I was one of the unfortunate souls who didn’t receive an official “By Wally sig-line”, could **you** either write me a sig line or one of those profiles? Thank you in advance for your consideration. Sincerely, Chrome Toaster, approval seeker ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/12 "2000-04-03T18:59:00Z")
UncleBeer, what a thoroughly nice thing to say. But we can’t foresee what putzes and such like will do or say. I don’t think that you did anything wrong. And, I see a lot of other people agree with me, including Wally. * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.\ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/13 "2000-04-03T23:28:00Z")
I’m sure our beloved UncleBeer has little trouble throwing together a profile for innocent and shy little Coldfire 😉 * * * **Coldfire** _ **Likely Voted to Poster Most Drunk** _ * * * **WallyM7** on Coldfire: _ **"Yeah, he knows a little about everything because they have a good prison library."** _ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/14 "2000-04-03T23:48:00Z")
_ **BUZZZZZZ!!!** _ You have made your requests in the wrong thread. Your screen names are now forfeit. Please re-register. But we have some lovely parting gifts for you. Take it away, Don Pardo! Tell these folks what they’ve won. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-apology-to-wally/15535/15 "2000-04-04T18:08:00Z")
Just popping this thread back to the top so the proper evil-doer gets recognized for all the profiling falderal… * * * Homepage: [http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil](http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil) Occupation: Swabbie Pounder, First Class Location: Anywhere you feckless landlubbers ain’t. Interests: Navy Chow, Port of Call, The Head, Air Superiority ICQ Number: CVN69 **– An UncleBeer Profile** “Avast and ahoy, landlubbers! Shore leave’s in August. Hide your women.” **– A WallySig**