# Public farting
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 29, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352 "2008-04-29T14:51:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/61 "2008-04-30T16:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=Dazzling White Diamonds]
It’d be quite a genre, let me tell you!
I kinda felt like Dr. Leavitt when the red light started flashing. I just kinda froze - not a full-on epileptic seizure, just stunned.
And **Ellen Cherry** , I’ve been awakened by my own butt-mint-needing emissions. How bad is that? I woke up thinking there was sewer (septic) gas in the house, but then realized later it was me. :eek:
**Zsofia** , were you kinda proud of him? Just a little?
[/QUOTE]
It didn’t even smell like the smell of an organic animal. It was more like what a robot in the vespene gas plant would fart. Kind of amazing.
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### Author:  [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/62 "2008-04-30T17:36:00Z")
[QUOTE=Ellen Cherry]
OK, show of hands. Who here has been _awakened_ by the aroma of the butt-mint-needing emissions of your beloved?
[/QUOTE]
Followed by blaming the innocent!
Probably.
Regards,
Shodan
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/63 "2008-04-30T17:45:26Z")
I remember asking my dad one morning why he decided to wake me up (from another room through two closed doors) the night before with a gigantic fart. He asked why I automatically assumed it was him. After seeing my mom’s expression, I apologized to dad.
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### Author:  [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/64 "2008-04-30T20:33:56Z")
Yeah, couples know they’ve reached a magical level of comfort and intimacy when they start farting around each other. 😃
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### Author:  [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/65 "2008-04-30T20:46:25Z")
[QUOTE=TroubleAgain]
Yeah, couples know they’ve reached a magical level of comfort and intimacy when they start farting around each other. 😃
[/QUOTE]
Truer words have rarely been spoken.
If you can’t fart or feel comfortable taking a dump in the vacinity of your SO, then maybe it’s time to seriously reconsider your relationship.
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### Author:  [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/66 "2008-04-30T21:00:10Z")
[QUOTE=Savannah]
I fear bending over to file something in the bottom drawer, and having a loud blast emerge, however.
[/QUOTE]
Urg. This happened to me just last week. Luckily no one was in my office but three of my admin staff sit right outside my office door. They **had** to have heard it because that sucker was loud. I uttered a sheepish “Excuse me” but no one responded.
Being German, they didn’t laugh but I know they must have been laughing inside.
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### Author:  [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2008, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/67 "2008-04-30T21:02:54Z")
Yahoo news ran some article one day saying it’s a good idea to fart at work…something along the lines of “marking your territory,” IIRC.
I searched youtube for the Monty Python “farting contest” but I think that was a radio bit.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/68 "2008-04-30T21:34:30Z")
I always blame the cats (even when they’re not in the room). It’s turned into a running joke, to see how ridiculous I can make it to blame them.
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### Author:  [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/69 "2008-05-01T00:26:32Z")
My ex (yes, in IT) farted quite a bit. I got him trained pretty well trained to say ‘excuse me’ after any gas emission. Now I’m staying with my Mom for a bit, and she totally lets them fly! I think I’m trying to get her to say ‘excuse me’ and she’s trying to get me to play along with blaming the cat.
But while we’re on the subject of notable farts:
My ex and I, while we were just a few months into dating, took a trip. And we ate at a yummy restaurant. And what he ate did not agree with his tummy overnight. I was literally **driven from the hotel room** by the strength and putridity of those emissions! We decided to spend the rest of the day outdoors, but we had to take a cab to the starting point … I felt so sorry for the driver. He must have had to air that thing out for at least half an hour because of the ten minutes we were in it!
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### Author:  [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/70 "2008-05-01T00:59:59Z")
[QUOTE=cmyk]
Truer words have rarely been spoken.
If you can’t fart or feel comfortable taking a dump in the vacinity of your SO, then maybe it’s time to seriously reconsider your relationship.
[/QUOTE]
Well geez I guess I never have been “all the way” then. And don’t want to be.
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### Author:  [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/71 "2008-05-01T01:27:02Z")
[QUOTE=control-z]
Well geez I guess I never have been “all the way” then. And don’t want to be.
[/QUOTE]
Trust me, you’ll never feel so free, until you cut loose. Fly **control-z,** FLY!
[presents a candy dish]
Also, would you like a butt-mint?
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### Author:  [@Dazzling\_White\_Diamonds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dazzling_White_Diamonds)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/72 "2008-05-01T01:48:40Z")
[QUOTE=cmyk]
[presents a candy dish]
Also, would you like a butt-mint?
[/QUOTE]
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Minty fresh”.
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### Author:  [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/73 "2008-05-01T02:34:25Z")
I think **Acid Lamp** and I started our fart-friendly relationship pretty early on. This became interesting when we moved in with a guy I’ll call Fred. I’m guessing that Fred never got that serious with his past girlfriends because he was absolutely horrified any time I farted. Granted, I did have some “odd” sounding farts, including ones that’d “travel forward” [sub]and reverberate between my, er, pretty pink parts[/sub] on occasion, but nothing that’d merit his reaction to me farting. Him or **Acid Lamp** farted? “Heh, farts are funny.” Me farting? “What the fuck was that?” “What is _wrong_ with you?” “How on earth do your farts sound so weird?” “What have you been eating?” “Gah!!!”
After a few months, I thoroughly enjoyed grossing him out with my specialty reverse travel farts. He couldn’t quite figure it out, but was horrified every time.
These days, my enjoyment has been in letting **Acid Lamp** learn about the joys of the feather blanket-preserved fart. Oh, the stale dutch oven can be the funniest of these fart-related joys. 😃
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### Author:  [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/74 "2008-05-01T02:59:41Z")
We have a dog who shares in the joy of farts. Hers come in two varieties. The first is the Ungodly Dog Fart Of Doom. These will drive both her humans and herself from whatever cozy spot we are occupying. Whenever we see the dog stop suddenly and glare at her ass in an accusatory manner, we know to dive for cover. The second type are harmless but LOUD. These are always followed by a happy dog grin and tail wagging. Her look plainly reads “Farts are Funny!”
Fart humor is even understood cross species.
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### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/75 "2008-05-01T03:22:27Z")
[QUOTE=control-z]
Well geez I guess I never have been “all the way” then. And don’t want to be.
[/QUOTE]
You know you might have to cut back a bit when you let a teeny one fly and a _man_ says “God, you are so disgusting! Would you watch where you aim those things?”
I pay him back. “Are you pooping in there?”
“Yes, go away!”
“Aaron’s pooping! Are you pooping a _lot_? Or is it more of a casual, that-time-of-day poop?”
“Go away!”
"I think I’ll practice my guitar. I’m going to write a new song! It’s called “The Aaron’s Pooping Song.”
The lyrics weren’t really worth writing down, honestly.
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/76 "2008-05-01T03:46:33Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever]
Be glad you were on the other end of the table at Pizza House. Just sayin’.
[/QUOTE]
Sitting at the far end of that table, I knew I’d better not venture any closer as soon as I heard ‘‘dog’s asshole’’ and ‘‘latex’’ together in the same sentence. But thanks for reinforcing my decision. It’s always good to know when I’ve used sound judgment. 😉
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/77 "2008-05-01T12:15:06Z")
**lobotomyboy** writes:
> [@](#):
>
> I searched youtube for the Monty Python “farting contest” but I think that was a radio bit.
I don’t recall Monty Python ever doing such a bit. In fact, I don’t recall them being much into fart humor.
What you may have in mind is a bit I’ve heard of on record, the **Crepitation Contest** , which you can find at plenty of sites. Here’s one:
[http://www.laughdome.com/farting.htm](http://www.laughdome.com/farting.htm)
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### Author:  [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/78 "2008-05-01T13:04:23Z")
This thread reminds me of a high-school incident: a bunch of friends were staying up at my buddy’s Brad’s family cabin. One guy, Dan, was farting up a storm that night and making a big show of marking his territory - typical teenage behavior.
Anyway, we eventually crashed on couches, cots, sleeping bags, what have you - and Dan was on the floor, right below a couch Brad was sleeping on. The next morning, a few of us started to wake up - for some reason, everyone was quiet and just acknowledging we were awake with eye contact. We realized we were all up - except Dan. Quietly, quietly, Brad got out of his sleeping bag on the couch, dropped trou and hung his butt off the couch right over Dan’s face. He then softly but urgently barked “Dan!” and Dan bolted up - planting his face right into Brad’s butt just as he cut loose with a Single-Resounding Flutter Blast. Dan took it right in the eyes - it was epic. Note to self: make sure I am fully awake and warmed up before engaging in full-body convulsive laughter.
Ah, the weird farting rituals of teenage boys…
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### Author:  [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/79 "2008-05-01T14:36:15Z")
[QUOTE=Dazzling White Diamonds]
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Minty fresh”.
[/QUOTE]
I bet it burns a bit. I’m sure someone here would be willing to try and report back. Try an Altiod. 😉
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### Author:  [@Dazzling\_White\_Diamonds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dazzling_White_Diamonds)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2008, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-farting/447352/80 "2008-05-01T15:35:01Z")
[QUOTE=control-z]
I bet it burns a bit. I’m sure someone here would be willing to try and report back. Try an Altiod. 😉
[/QUOTE]
[Johnny Cash]Mah back end is a burnin’ ring o’fire… [/JC]
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