# Public school for the 153 kid

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 8, 2013, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407 "2013-11-08T10:50:47Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/41 "2013-11-09T21:20:36Z")

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> [@White SIFL](#):
>
> Really? I’ll give you a clue, sneak bragging about how oh-so-smart he is

What way there is to mention one’s intelligence, when it’s relevant to the issue (and it is in this case) without being accused of sneak bragging?

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/42 "2013-11-09T21:35:12Z")

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> [@grude](#):
>
> He said if he could go back in time he would hit himself with a brick, or do anything else to make himself normal. He hates having a high IQ.
> 
> I think I should stop posting in this topic.

Isn’t that just the same as the old, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful?” :dubious:

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/43 "2013-11-09T23:44:47Z")

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> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> I read the whole thing . . .

Glad I didn’t make that mistake.

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**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/44 "2013-11-10T14:42:42Z")

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> [@bump](#):
>
> I do think that there should be equal educational effort spent on children outside of those two standard deviations, and not just a huge effort on the bottom end, but that’s kind of out of scope for this discussion.

Except that’s it is very related to this discussion.

I’m a huge proponent of inclusive classrooms, which mainstream kids with learning needs outside the norm. I’ve seen enough parents react with, " OMG, my kid will be in with Teh Retarrrrrded" to know what the perception is, but a well-done inclusive classroom has the flexibility and the resources to cater to _all_ learning types, including those above the norm. I’ve seen this both from a professional (working for a university program on community inclusion) and personal (daughter who, while not z genius, is plenty smart and at/near the top of her class really thriving more during those years she was in an inclusive classroom that was well-resourced) point of view.

So, while people may differ in how they read and react to the OP, he does make a point about the limits of the public educational system.

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**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/45 "2013-11-10T16:18:52Z")

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> [@lorene](#):
>
> Except that’s it is very related to this discussion.
> 
> I’m a huge proponent of inclusive classrooms, which mainstream kids with learning needs outside the norm. I’ve seen enough parents react with, " OMG, my kid will be in with Teh Retarrrrrded" to know what the perception is, but a well-done inclusive classroom has the flexibility and the resources to cater to _all_ learning types, including those above the norm. I’ve seen this both from a professional (working for a university program on community inclusion) and personal (daughter who, while not z genius, is plenty smart and at/near the top of her class really thriving more during those years she was in an inclusive classroom that was well-resourced) point of view.
> 
> So, while people may differ in how they read and react to the OP, he does make a point about the limits of the public educational system.

Assuming you have the standard single teacher classroom you find in the real world how would this work? If the slow kids need intensive attention and the fast kids are into a completely different levels of the same material? How is this going to happen successfully with one teacher in one classroom all at the same time?

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**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/46 "2013-11-10T16:41:32Z")

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> [@astro](#):
>
> Assuming you have the standard single teacher classroom you find in the real world how would this work? If the slow kids need intensive attention and the fast kids are into a completely different levels of the same material? How is this going to happen successfully with one teacher in one classroom all at the same time?

In my experiences, you don’t have the standard one-teacher classroom. Any additional Special Ed instructors are embedded in the classroom rather than in a separate Special Ed class. Sorry—I should have made that clear. It allows for a more flexible curriculum/lesson plan, because each group explores the module in the way that makes the most sense for their abilities. An example of this is when my daughter’s first grade class was learning about planets. The module was a typical “read/learn/demonstrate understanding via a project” module, but the scope and complexity of the project differed. Some kids spent longer on reading comprehension then drew or built a model for their project. Other kids got through the material quicker and had time to made PowerPoint presentations. They all acquired the content but demonstrated it in their own way, at their own rate. Also, it allows for kids who have significant learning needs in some areas to excel and shine in others. Kids who have learning disabilities can still be advanced, and the one-size-fits-most classroom doesn’t allow for that.

In contrast, last year she was in your standard one-teacher, one lesson plan classroom. They were taught subjects pretty much only to meet the requirements of the standardized tests our state requires. The kids with more significant learning needs had to struggle to catch up, and the kids for whom this all came easily were not encouraged in any way to learn beyond the grade requirement. It was definitely her worst year to date.

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**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/47 "2013-11-10T17:00:05Z")

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Not to take the thread too afar, but I wonder if technology in the classrooms can be used to enable “mixed-ability” classrooms. Essentially using the teacher to faciliate lessons that are more tailored to individuals or groups of individuals.

Like, instead of everyone working on the same content at their desks, the kids could work on assignments programmed into their personal “work stations” that are suited to their ability, using information assembled from the students’ past performances, test scores, and the teacher’s own estimation. Students wouldn’t have to submit the same classroom and homework assignments. Nor would they necessarily be put into “groups”. No one would have to know that Johnny is a slow reader or Suzy is a genius.

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**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/48 "2013-11-10T17:38:13Z")

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> [@fisha](#):
>
> I’ve always liked you, pizza guy.
> 
> Stop being so scared and stop listening to that repetitive monkey in your head.
> 
> Wryly revel in and embrace the shittiness of life.
> 
> Own it, master it, make it your bitch.

I quoted this post because it’s about the tone I like - not too sappy but not all mean, either.

Pizzaguy - I always liked you and I would say go ahead and _be_ scared, realize we all have repetitive monkeys in our heads and don’t take any of it so serious.

it’s only life, after all. 😃

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**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/49 "2013-11-10T17:49:26Z")

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(not even going to try and make the stupid edit window)

PS I have a serious addiction to Self Help Books and here is my recommendation for you. it’s practical and tells you what to DO which is excellent since you’ve already given everything way too much thought!

[The Happiness Trap](http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living/dp/1590305841/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1384105547&sr=8-1)

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**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/50 "2013-11-10T20:37:11Z")

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> [@astro](#):
>
> Assuming you have the standard single teacher classroom you find in the real world how would this work? If the slow kids need intensive attention and the fast kids are into a completely different levels of the same material? How is this going to happen successfully with one teacher in one classroom all at the same time?

I was agreeing with you at first, but then I remembered that, having been brought up in a rural area, I attended a school with only one classroom : there was only one teacher for all kids, from 1st to 5th grade. So, it’s in fact possible to teach kids of various levels and presumably abilities. Although there were less than a dozen of us, which obviously makes things much simpler than in a regular school.

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**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/51 "2013-11-10T21:21:42Z")

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> [@grude](#):
>
> I agree with what you’re saying in general, but the bullying a lot here went through is something no child should have to put up with. Instead of helping adults just say “law of the fucking jungle man, man up and beat a bitch”.

I agree… what I was trying to say is that 15-20 years on, he needs to get over that stuff one way or another- through therapy, by himself, whatever.

Blaming being very smart and childhood bullying for his current situation at age 30 is basically rationalizing why he’s not doing as well as he might have liked, not taking action to improve his situation. That’s all I’m trying to say.

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**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/52 "2013-11-10T21:43:18Z")

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I would encourage the OP to see himself as something other than a ‘153’. At the very least, consider that there are different types of intelligences. Social skills, as noted upthread, can be learned. And if the OP is upset at some of the responses he’s received here, well, there’s a relevant lesson in that, for a start.

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**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/53 "2013-11-11T00:07:03Z")

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> [@clairobscur](#):
>
> I was agreeing with you at first, but then I remembered that, having been brought up in a rural area, I attended a school with only one classroom : there was only one teacher for all kids, from 1st to 5th grade. So, it’s in fact possible to teach kids of various levels and presumably abilities. Although there were less than a dozen of us, which obviously makes things much simpler than in a regular school.

Have you seen or heard of this movie? Because the movie is not sugarcoated, to the point where one interviewee talks about a classmate who sexually abused other kids, presumably including him, at knifepoint, it is not for very young children.

[http://www.countryschoolmovie.com](http://www.countryschoolmovie.com)

It’s aired on many Midwestern PBS outlets and has won many awards.

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**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/54 "2013-11-11T17:56:45Z")

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> [@nearwildheaven](#):
>
> Have you seen or heard of this movie? Because the movie is not sugarcoated, to the point where one interviewee talks about a classmate who sexually abused other kids, presumably including him, at knifepoint, it is not for very young children.
> 
> [http://www.countryschoolmovie.com](http://www.countryschoolmovie.com)
> 
> It’s aired on many Midwestern PBS outlets and has won many awards.

Which has what do do with the OP now?

Reported.

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**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/55 "2013-11-11T18:20:47Z")

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Back to the topic at hand:

I was in the gifted program in grade school and in honors in high school and blah blah blah… I graduated from college with a useless degree thinking what came next would be easy just because I was smart.

Boy, was I ever wrong.

Sheer brain power counts for very little in this world. I was horribly shy and a total introvert, and I’m ashamed to admit I was a judgemental little snob about people I thought weren’t as smart.

It took far longer than it should have, but eventually the light bulb went on in my head: the world wasn’t going to change because I wanted it to, and all I could do was change myself to get along in the world. It wasn’t easy, but I learned to make small talk and smile at people and not let the cranks get to me. It made me a hell of a lot easier to get along with and I wound up being a happier person for it.

I didn’t a better job by cuddling my diploma and blaming the girls who bullied me in 7th grade. I had to make the effort to learn how to get through an interview without choking and learning how to network and stuff.

TLDR version: learning that the world didn’t owe me any favors just because of my intelligence was one of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn. It was also one of the best.

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**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/56 "2013-11-11T18:44:02Z")

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> [@nearwildheaven](#):
>
> Have you seen or heard of this movie? Because the movie is not sugarcoated, to the point where one interviewee talks about a classmate who sexually abused other kids, presumably including him, at knifepoint, it is not for very young children.
> 
> [http://www.countryschoolmovie.com](http://www.countryschoolmovie.com)
> 
> It’s aired on many Midwestern PBS outlets and has won many awards.

Stop posting things like this in topics not about it. You will be warned next time.

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**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/57 "2013-11-11T20:32:55Z")

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> [@ugly ripe tomato](#):
>
> Sheer brain power counts for very little in this world. I was horribly shy and a total introvert, and I’m ashamed to admit I was a judgemental little snob about people I thought weren’t as smart.
> 
> […]
> 
> TLDR version: learning that the world didn’t owe me any favors just because of my intelligence was one of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn. It was also one of the best.

Yeah, me too.

I did have a LOT of advantages over the OP, so I sympathize with his rough lot in life to a certain extent. My family nurtured my intelligence; my mom in particular fought for me to be in accelerated programs (or, failing that, to get me to be able to read a textbook in the corner once I was done with my regular work). I was bullied some at my middle school, but there was one of the popular girls who held that bullying was wrong, and she by herself made the atmosphere of the school much less toxic than it would otherwise have been. I was able to get into programs in high school with other smart kids that meant I actually had close friends for the first time in my life.

But that being said, I still didn’t know how to relate to kids who weren’t smart. I thought being smart was the most important thing. I didn’t really understand social skills. I thought that being smart would be enough to be a winner in life.

It’s not. It helps, but there are other things that help more. One of the most successful academics I met in grad school was a guy who wasn’t as smart as many of the other people I knew, perhaps not even as smart as the OP (sorry, OP, most of the people I knew in grad school were smarter than you), but who had drive and worked harder than anyone I have ever met. A tenured professor I know now is a smart guy, but more than that, he is also one of the most personable guys I know and can draw out both people who are scary smart and who are not particularly smart. His wife (whom I know very well) credits his social skills with the networks he made and the “coincidences” that happened that led to his tenure.

And those two examples are _academia_, where you might reasonably expect intelligence to be king. In industry, where I work, or in any other field, it’s even more dependent on these other qualities. I continually work on my people skills and my social skills, and it’s tough going because I suck at it, but I think I’ve learned something in the last ten years.

My daughter is going to be intellectually gifted and socially delayed, like both her parents; I can already see it happening. I agree that I will try to follow (some of) the advice in the OP, as my parents did, and make sure she can have opportunities to develop her intellect and meet other kids she can “click” with who are like her, because this was so important to me.

But I’m also hitting the social and emotional development _really hard_, and we talk a lot about how to think about other people and what kinds of things we need to do socially that show people we care about them that come naturally to other kids but don’t come naturally to her (or to me). I am trying to make sure she has opportunities with kids who are NOT like her in ways that I can monitor and we can talk about, and working with her to give her tools to be able to interact with those people as well. I praise her for her perseverance and for independently solving her own problems rather than for her intelligence (although we’ve talked about how she is very lucky to have a bright mind that makes connections easily, and how other people are lucky to have other traits).

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/58 "2013-11-11T21:00:23Z")

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> [@nearwildheaven](#):
>
> Have you seen or heard of this movie? Because the movie is not sugarcoated, to the point where one interviewee talks about a classmate who sexually abused other kids, presumably including him, at knifepoint, it is not for very young children.
> 
> [http://www.countryschoolmovie.com](http://www.countryschoolmovie.com)
> 
> It’s aired on many Midwestern PBS outlets and has won many awards.

Nope, I never heard of it. It was probably not distributed over here (France).

It reminds me of something : looking at the picture of the inside, it looks quite similar to my own school, including the school desks with an ink pot bored into it. When I was attending this school, during the 70s, we were only allowed to write with ink and a dip pen.

Much later, maybe around 1990, I heard someone mentioning his child writing with a ballpoint pen. So, I enquire : are elementary school children now allowed to write with regular pens? My coworkers looked at me like I was just out of the 19th century. Turned out that none of them, including those much older than me, had ever used a dip pen at school :eek: . I must have been one of the last kids in the western world who has ben taught to write with such an implement.

For the record, the point was that we were expected to have a much better handwriting than if we were allowed to use a ballpoint pen. Didn’t work at all for me.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/59 "2013-11-11T21:02:12Z")

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> [@ugly ripe tomato](#):
>
> Which has what do do with the OP now?
> 
> Reported.

> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#):
>
> Stop posting things like this in topics not about it. You will be warned next time.

Huh? Can somebody explain or give a link?? 😕

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-school-for-the-153-kid/673407/60 "2013-11-11T22:48:17Z")

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My criticism is not because he felt bullied, or because he felt bored in school. It’s because he views himself as a victim, not an agent, in his own life. He certainly could have chosen, if not as a child then as an adult, to examine the problems he was having and how he could solve them. Instead he fantasizes about time travel and bricks.

We all have problems. Mine are pretty similar to pizzaguy’s. But I try to figure out how I can change things myself.

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