# Public Service Rant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 18, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506 "2007-06-18T20:44:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/41 "2007-06-19T13:41:52Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] That’s my attempt to out-stupid **Lib** and **askeptic**. How’d I do? [/QUOTE] You failed. Too obvious. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/42 "2007-06-19T14:04:26Z")
Man, I’m glad no fires or emergencies cropped up in this store while you guys all sat around in the FIRE LANE trying to decide who has the right to be here! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/43 "2007-06-19T14:19:37Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] You failed. Too obvious. [/QUOTE] As I feared. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/44 "2007-06-19T15:19:36Z")
[QUOTE=t-bonham@scc.net] No, that doesn’t stop the Fire Department. I once saw a car parked in a fire lane, directly in front of the fire hydrant, at my apartment building, when a small fire occurred in one apartment, the alarm went off, and the Fire Trucks arrived. They didn’t hesitate at all, they simply put the big bumper of a fire truck up against the vehicle, put the truck in low gear, and pushed that car out of the way. Even though it’s parking brake was on and it’s transmission in park, it didn’t matter – the fire truck moved that car easily. Even from 5 stories up, I could hear metal transmission parts snapping, and could see the skid marks of rubber from the locked tires. They pushed it out of the fire lane, out of the parking lot, and right into the middle of the street. A police patrol car was already on the scene, he got out and started writing out tickets for the car. And he must have called a tow truck too, because one arrived very soon thereafter and towed it away. It didn’t delay the Fire Department more than about 20-30 seconds. But the owner of that car got several tickets, a trip to the impound lot and the $140 fees there, plus some definite damage to their vehicle. That should have been enough to teach them not to park in fire lanes, you’d hope. [/QUOTE] _sniff_ _wipes away a tear of joy_ Makes me want to become an arsonist, that does. Only in buildings with cars parked in the fire lanes, of course. And only small fires. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/45 "2007-06-19T15:22:33Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] Man, I’m glad no fires or emergencies cropped up in this store while you guys all sat around in the FIRE LANE trying to decide who has the right to be here! [/QUOTE] [You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here.](http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/deterior.html) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/46 "2007-06-19T16:41:37Z")
[QUOTE=Cheesesteak] - Across the street from my old High School, they designated a bunch of fire lane areas around empty lots so that the students wouldn’t be able to park there. [/QUOTE] Now that’s just stupid! What a way to teach those kids to be dishonest. They could just as easily have simply designated them as “No Parking” spots. But like most cities, they probably get more money from a Fire Lane ticket than a simple No Parking zone ticket. So the city is both dishonest and greedy! Well, I suppose this did teach those students something about how the world works. But not a _good_ lesson. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/47 "2007-06-19T17:10:33Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] It’s my car and I’ll park wherever the hell I want. Why should “emergency” vehicles trump my right to convenient shopping? People entering those buildings are taking a risk of fire, they should know that going in. I’m not about to give up my right to shop because those idiots can’t own up to the risks involved. That’s my attempt to out-stupid **Lib** and **askeptic**. How’d I do? [/QUOTE] I think it’s clear that the free market should determine things. Really, if your store has a fire lane and that other guy’s doesn’t, I’m more likely to die a screaming, painful death in his store. So I’ll shop at yours. See, the free market fixes everything! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/48 "2007-06-19T17:47:51Z")
When it comes to hydrants and fire lanes, I think I’m in favor of the following policy: “you parks your car, you takes your chances.” If you’re parked in one of these spots and your car is actually impeding the fighting of an actual fire, you can be sure that the firemen will effectively destroy your car in their effort to move it out of the way as fast as possible. Here in NYC, at least, I think we’re better off accepting the 20 or 30 extra seconds it would take the FDNY to respond to fires in exchange for the tens (hundreds?) of thousands of extra parking spaces. ETA: you could even give the FD special car moving equipment. Maybe some kind of giant lever that flips the car over into the street, where it can be pushed out of the way (upside down) by the fire engine. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/49 "2007-06-19T19:01:50Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] And oh my god, what happens if his car starts shooting poisonous venom everywhere, and a\*\* giant rabid grizzly\*\* crawls out of the truck and aliens land and start disecting everyone?! :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] I wish to state, for the record, I have never done such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/50 "2007-06-19T19:03:25Z")
[QUOTE=GrizzRich] I wish to state, for the record, I have never done such a thing. [/QUOTE] The guilty ones always deny it. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/51 "2007-06-19T19:14:26Z")
Well, the driver parking their car thus has to [accept that there are consequences!](http://www.thebestlinks.com/images/thumb/e/e8/180px-Car.JPG) ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/52 "2007-06-20T16:46:28Z")
[QUOTE=GrizzRich] [QUOTE=Guinastasia] And oh my god, what happens if his car starts shooting poisonous venom everywhere, and a giant rabid grizzly crawls out of the truck and aliens land and start disecting everyone?!. [/QUOTE] I wish to state, for the record, I have never done such a thing [/QUOTE] “Who is driving the car shooting poisonous venom? Oh my God, **GrizzRich** is driving the car shooting poisonous venom! How can that be???” ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/53 "2007-06-20T18:49:22Z")
[QUOTE=Risha] I’m terribly sorry. I missed the entire second half of your (I’m sure accurate and worthy) rant because my brain was busy replaying _Airplane_. **Male announcer:** The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone. **Female announcer:** The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone. **Male announcer:** The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone. **Female announcer:** No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone. **Male announcer:** The red zone has always been for loading. **Female announcer:** Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading. **Male announcer:** Look Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again. There’s just no stopping in a white zone. **Female announcer:** Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion. **Male announcer:** It’s really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there’s no danger involved. [/QUOTE] According to the Wikipedia article about the movie, these were actual LAX announcers at the time. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2007, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/54 "2007-06-20T19:08:45Z")
[QUOTE=GrizzRich] Well, the driver parking their car thus has to [accept that there are consequences!](http://www.thebestlinks.com/images/thumb/e/e8/180px-Car.JPG) [/QUOTE] [Ahem.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8693393&postcount=31) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/55 "2007-06-20T20:31:04Z")
[QUOTE=VarlosZ] ETA: you could even give the FD special car moving equipment. Maybe some kind of giant lever that flips the car over into the street, where it can be pushed out of the way (upside down) by the fire engine. [/QUOTE] They have that already - it’s called a 450 horsepower engine. As someone on the other page said, put the transmission in first gear and you can move small buildings. Cars are no problem. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/56 "2007-06-20T22:42:23Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] They have that already - it’s called a 450 horsepower engine. As someone on the other page said, put the transmission in first gear and you can move small buildings. Cars are no problem. [/QUOTE] Ok, tell me how to move [this cop car](http://q.queso.com/images/nyc_lawless_traffic_cop.jpg) with just a fire truck without damaging the legally parked cars in front of it. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/57 "2007-06-21T20:39:57Z")
It may be an urban legend, but supposedly, some fire departments have master keys for all of that city’s emergency vehicles - fire trucks, ambulances, cop cars and meter maid’s buggies. Otherwise, it looks like at least one outlet of that hydrant is unimpeded, so it’s not a huge crisis. Failing that, they’ll just throw a chain on the car’s bumper or axle and drag it out. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2007, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/58 "2007-06-21T23:37:07Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] It may be an urban legend, but supposedly, some fire departments have master keys for all of that city’s emergency vehicles - fire trucks, ambulances, cop cars and meter maid’s buggies. Otherwise, it looks like at least one outlet of that hydrant is unimpeded, so it’s not a huge crisis. Failing that, they’ll just throw a chain on the car’s bumper or axle and drag it out. [/QUOTE] Not an urban legend. ---
**Author:** ![St.Urho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@St.Urho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Urho)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2007, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/59 "2007-06-22T00:48:17Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] Not an urban legend. [/QUOTE] Really? It is everywhere I’m familiar with… ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2007, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506/60 "2007-06-22T05:29:41Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] It may be an urban legend, but supposedly, some fire departments have master keys for all of that city’s emergency vehicles - fire trucks, ambulances, cop cars and meter maid’s buggies. [/QUOTE] Seems like just common sense would tell you this is untrue. Fore example, my city has hundreds of cop cars alone. From at least 2 different automakers. How could they possibly have a master key that would work on all these cars? Especially when they come from different car companies? (I know that the city does NOT replace all the door locks when new vehicles are put into service.) Last winter, a cop accidentally locked the car door, with the keys in the ignition & the car running. He had to get another cop car take him back to the station to get the spare set of keys. This was at a scene where several Fire Department vehicles were present also. If they had ‘master keys’, why wouldn’t they have just unlocked the door for this cop? And this just doesn’t make sense in the first place – what reason is there for the Fire Department to have such super master keys? What benefits are there to justify the amounts this would cost? No significant benefits that I can see! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-service-rant/408506.md?page=4)