# Public Speaking: help me survive this **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 22, 2015, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235 "2015-09-22T21:01:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/61 "2015-09-24T06:10:14Z")
I’ve been lurking this thread… Congrats!!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/62 "2015-09-24T09:42:35Z")
> [@brovolone](#): > > . > Wasn’t that bad and I think I can take all of this and do better next time. Thanks guys for your support. > > I think I can pass this class. It’s great that you not only ‘survived’ but did so well! My advice would be to reflect a bit on that positive feeling you have right now, sort of encapsulate it and store it away,so you can remind yourself about it before the next presentation. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/63 "2015-09-24T09:48:17Z")
I think you were robbed. From where I was sitting it looked like a 56. Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/64 "2015-09-24T12:19:47Z")
Glad it worked out well for you, **brovolone**. For your next time, you can try what I do for my presentations. I know it sounds silly because, well, because it is silly. But it works for me. I use the old children’s song _Head and Shoulders_ to help me know what to do and not to do. Here’s the breakdown: [ul][li]_Head_: Know your topic. Do not try to memorize the whole speech! No matter how good you are, much more likely than not, you will forget something and then you’re screwed. Of course, there may be some parts–some small parts–you should commit to memory. But do not try to memorize the whole thing, especially if it’s going to be a mighty long spiel.[/li][li]_Shoulders_: Keep your hands below your shoulders. You do not want to look like either a windmill or some bird trying to take off. If you need to point at the board/screen/whatever, use an open hand, not one finger, and keep that hand below your shoulder.[/li][li]_Knees and Toes_: The knee bone is connected to the shin bone…" Well, this leads to your legs & feet really. MOVE! WALK! Do not be the conjoined twin of the podium! Use one of those remote control for your computer so you don’t have to be tethered to the podium either.[/li][li]_Eyes_: Look at your audience. Make eye contact. Do not stare at one person, but do make sure that you look at everyone in the place. Definitely do not be robotic about that either. Just look at people while you are walking around and speaking.[/li][li]_Ears, Mouth_: Listen to yourself and to the room. Maybe you are not speaking loud enough. Maybe you are speaking too loudly. Maybe the acoustics in the room are awesome and you do not need to project.[/li][li]_Nose_: Okay, this one’s a reach but my students laughed when I told them. It’s actually not “nose” in this ditty, but rather “knows”. I like to say, “The speaker knows the stuff and also knows when to stop talking.”[/ul][/li] I’ve been using this template for myself for nigh on 30 years. Just be sure you don’t start singing your speech to the tune of that song! ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/65 "2015-09-24T12:29:12Z")
Forgot one thing. Also, please do not be the person who caused me to start [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=568913)! ---
**Author:** ![Das\_Glasperlenspiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/das_glasperlenspiel/32/2944_2.png) [@Das\_Glasperlenspiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Das_Glasperlenspiel)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/66 "2015-09-24T14:21:26Z")
Congratulations!! May I suggest joining a local Toastmasters group? The emphasis is on learning to be a good public speaker and how to be comfortable with an audience. I found the experience very worthwhile and joining is not expensive. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/67 "2015-09-24T14:22:37Z")
> [@brovolone](#): > > Thanks! I wish I could give everyone in this thread a beer. We wish you could too. 🙂 Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/68 "2015-09-24T14:40:49Z")
> [@brovolone](#): > > Thanks! I wish I could give everyone in this thread a beer. I’ll take a Duvel. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/69 "2015-09-24T15:26:22Z")
Congrats on conquering this phobia! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/70 "2015-09-24T16:24:25Z")
52 of 60 is 86.7%, which figures to a high “B” without any curve in grading. From the data you provided, it might even be an “A”. My congratulations. Read Monty’s advice above, it’s good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/71 "2015-09-24T18:27:37Z")
> [@Das\_Glasperlenspiel](#): > > Congratulations!! > > May I suggest joining a local Toastmasters group? The emphasis is on learning to be a good public speaker and how to be comfortable with an audience. I found the experience very worthwhile and joining is not expensive. Second this idea. I’m in a TM group now and enjoying it very much. I like to watch various Ted Talks to inspire myself and also to identify things to do or not do. Here are a couple that I used as a learning experience\* in a recent meeting that I was toastmaster for: A great, riveting speaker: [Jill Bolte Tyler “My Stroke of Insight”](http://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight) A horrible speech by a brilliant, very respected man: [Cliff Stoll “The Call to Learn”](http://www.ted.com/talks/clifford_stoll_on_everything) - We were short a couple of speakers in that meeting, so I showed these talks instead and challenged the attendees to evaluate them as if they were our TM speakers. We evaluated them orally as a group. It was fun and educational and reinforced the TM speaking principles. ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/72 "2015-09-24T18:45:51Z")
Holy moly, I’m getting even more great advice. I’m seriously almost getting excited for my next speech. Thanks so much. Toast masters? That sounds kind of intimidating. What do you really do there? Is there a sign in sheet? Refreshments? Do you **have** to talk-- can you just hang out quietly in the back until you’re comfortable? What is the membership fee? Is there like a rank structure? Mentors? Group activities? Are there many women there? ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/73 "2015-09-24T18:53:26Z")
Ah shit. Just found my local toastmasters. They only meet Wednesdays at 7pm. My public speaking class is every Wednesday at 7pm. Fml. I still want to know about it though. Maybe after the semester is up this can become a hobby. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/74 "2015-09-24T19:09:58Z")
> [@brovolone](#): > > Holy moly, I’m getting even more great advice. I’m seriously almost getting excited for my next speech. Thanks so much. > > Toast masters? That sounds kind of intimidating. What do you really do there? Is there a sign in sheet? Refreshments? Do you **have** to talk-- can you just hang out quietly in the back until you’re comfortable? What is the membership fee? > > Is there like a rank structure? Mentors? Group activities? Are there many women there? Toastmasters was set up for the explicit purpose of giving people a non-threatening, supportive place to learn and practice public speaking skills. While we are evaluated on our speeches, the evaluations are required to be constructive and helpful, never scornful or disparaging or overly negative. Everybody there has felt the nerves and the intimidation of doing the first few speeches, so we all relate and try to be supportive. There is usually one or a few people with very excellent skills who serve as mentors for the new people. The fee is nominal, around $40/twice a year, but some clubs find ways to get those paid for reliable, active members. For example, my club is private for employees of my company only, and the company pays for our dues if we do one speech and three meeting roles during the dues period. The rest kind of depends on the individual club, but a typical meeting contains several things: [ul] [li]prepared speeches - members of the club who are working on their speech projects to try to earn their certificates (the basic one is Competent Communicator and then there are specialized categories after that).[/li][li]table topics - people either volunteer or are called on to stand and speak for 1-2 minutes on an assigned topic. This teaches improvisational speaking skills. [/li][li]Evaluations and reports[/li][/ul] There are several “leadership” roles that the members perform in every meeting: Toastmaster (it’s your show), Table Topics Master (He who torments the others with random topics), Timer, Grammarian, Ah-counter (she who counts the number of filler words everyone uses during the meeting), General Evaluator and of course the evaluators for the prepared speeches. The meetings tend to be run according to Roberts Rules of Order, although different clubs adhere to that more or less. Every club has it’s own personality or “culture”. Generally, you can visit a club meeting once or twice without participating just to see how things go and get the feel for the club. And sure, lots of women there, also lots of ethnic variety. In my club, our ethnic coworkers seem to like TM to help them learn better English (which is an entirely valid reason to join TM also) as well as confidence in speaking in general. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/75 "2015-09-24T20:29:57Z")
Hey, congrats, brovolone! You did really well. Now that you have one speech under your belt, you can think about adding a bit more pizzaz to your speaking voice. But that’s easy compared to coping with nerves and fears. Life is SO much easier when public speaking no longer terrifies you. ETA: Some universities have speaker clubs–usually student organizations. Maybe yours does? ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/76 "2015-09-24T20:34:06Z")
Thanks JcWoman for describing TM to me, sounds even more fun if I were to bring a friend. Thanks Emiliana, i want to be less of a robot. The professor said it sounded like I was describing a colonoscopy during my speech, lmao. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2015, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/77 "2015-09-24T21:15:01Z")
Glad you did well. I have always hated public speaking and also had to take a mandatory public speech class in college. My approach was to memorize my speech and really know my material. Then I went up there and essentially went on autopilot. I don’t remember anything from the speeches I had to give except the class swimming in front of my eyes. I scored quite well, apparently I was quite good at it. But my mind would essentially black out. I’d then spend the rest of the class uncontrollably shaking and sweating as an aftershock. I never felt consciously anxious. I never felt like I would fail, or people would laugh at me, or that I’d make a mistake, or that I’d mumble, or talk too fast, or forget parts of the speech. I always felt confident about my ability to do it. But my brain would just overdrive when I got up there. It never got easier. I interact fine with spiels and speeches in a small setting though. My tip is to keep your hands out of your pockets if you did that. It distracts your viewers and makes them think you’re going to show them something. Also, you can move from one spot to another a couple times during your speech to draw people’s attention for an important point. You can’t do it more often unless your speech is long or else it loses impact. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2015, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235/78 "2015-09-25T05:44:19Z")
> [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#): > > 52 of 60 is 86.7%, which figures to a high “B” without any curve in grading. From the data you provided, it might even be an “A”. > > My congratulations. Read Monty’s advice above, it’s good stuff. Thanks, TSSR. I actually came up with that on my own. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-speaking-help-me-survive-this/732235.md?page=3)