# Public toilet texts **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 3, 2001, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224 "2001-01-03T13:01:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/21 "2001-08-25T04:44:23Z")
I read this one today: _Time to shave my face Cut my hair And move to another town_ ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/22 "2001-08-25T05:47:05Z")
_In days of old, When knights were bold And rubbers weren’t invented, He placed a sock Upon his cock, And babies were prevented!_ –from a campground restroom somewhere in Alberta, c. 1985 I am of the opinion that women’s restrooms often have more “intelligent” graffiti than men’s restrooms do. In the university library where I used to work, my favorite stall had a running commentary on illegal immigration, believe it or not. I see hardly any graffiti nowadays in “the real world.” Darn suburbia! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/23 "2001-08-25T11:06:32Z")
Or, alternately: _In days of old, When knights were bold, And toilets weren’t invented They’d leave their load Beside the road, And ride away contented_ I like: _Here I sit, Buns a flexin’ Just gave birth To another Texan_ ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/24 "2001-08-25T11:39:51Z")
At my University library female loo, in big bold marker and in all the cubicles: Bloody hell! Tampax woman strikes again. ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/25 "2001-08-25T11:47:22Z")
Someone scrawled a Shakespeare quote about treachery in a stall at the local bar (I guess the toilet moved on him or something), so underneath I scrawled: _We are what we always were in Salem, but now the crazy little children are jangling the keys to the kingdom and common vengeance writes the law!_ I felt very pleased at sharing great literature with people who were drinking away their children’s lunch money. ---
**Author:** ![50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/b9e5f3/32.png) [@50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/50)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/26 "2001-08-25T18:37:57Z")
At a camp that I went to when I was younger there was a beautiful rendition of ronald regan for some reason, very nicely drawn with detail and shading, correct proportions and everything, maybe 2 feet tall, just the upper torso. Heres a favorite: This here thone is all my own, I try to keep it neat, So please be kind, With your behind, And dont shit on the seat. Q: for the ladies, is there an enormous ammount of boogers on the walls in your bathrooms? or is this a guy thing? ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/27 "2001-08-25T18:45:10Z")
At my old boarding school there was a lot of weak grafitti, some prison-style portraits of the female form, and this little gem: “Flush twice, it’s a long way to the dining hall” Lucky Charms ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/28 "2001-08-25T19:57:31Z")
This one from Beavis and Butthead: \*Here I sit, same as ever Took a dump, pulled the lever the toilet clogged, the water flowed look out world-it’s a mother lode! \* And this one, under those annoying, I Love Jason, or TK + JR =TLA, : _Give your guy a little class-don’t write his name where you wipe your ass_ ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/29 "2001-08-25T20:10:32Z")
“Pull to eject” ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/30 "2001-08-25T20:17:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by idiotboy \* > \*\*This one seems to be a standard in most men’s stalls…I’ve seen it in several… > > **Here I sit, > Broken-hearted. > Came to shit, > But only farted.** > > Still makes me giggle… 😃 \*\* The next time I’ll take a chance, and save the dime but shit my pants. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/31 "2001-08-25T20:19:49Z")
{On the stall wall beside the atrium/theatre of the left wing Innis College cinema dept.} The new cinematic emporium is not just a super sensoriun, but a highly effectual heterosexual mutual masterbatorium ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/32 "2001-08-26T00:04:51Z")
In a men’s room at the university of Seville ca. 1982: Me cago en Rusia (I shit on Russia). The grafitti in Spain at the time tended to be political. There were numerous responses, but this is the part I remember. ---
**Author:** ![sdarr2002](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@sdarr2002](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdarr2002)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/33 "2001-08-26T01:19:29Z")
capitian’s log stardate 4545.3 - spock and i beamed down to take a leak saw that about 20 years ago and i still laugh at it. we used to have a sign at work “players with short bats, please stand close to plate” i don’t think it counts as graffitti, though. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/34 "2001-08-26T06:52:51Z")
When I was at LSU, I found myself needing a bathroom when all that was handy was the faculty bathroom for the English department. I went in it, wondering if there’d be racy literature graffiti on the stall. There wasn’t, but someone had written, “Sorry, professors, I’m just a freshman who had to take a piss.” ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/35 "2001-08-26T07:39:22Z")
I was solemnly informed by a bathroom wall: “Hey you, sitting there, don’t worry Jesus does and always will love you.” Did I miss the Sermon on the Pot or what? At my high school, where there was a lot of tension between Latinos and Armenians, I was amused to note a running racial argument that took up most of a stall door and culminated in the brilliant statement “All Armenians are racist!” :rolleyes: For my part, I have the occasional habit of pencilling Shelley’s “Ozymandias” on bathroom walls, but then again I also type it on every typewriter and word processor on display at Office Depot. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/36 "2001-08-26T16:40:04Z")
oh god, about women’s bathrooms. especially university bathrooms. in my university arts building, some english student had corrected ALL the grammar in the graffitti… and the posters, adn the flyers… jeezy creezy. and in the medical department above the “PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS” sign, some smart-ass med student ( or water sports fanatic)has written “actually, urine is a sterile liquid and only picks up contaminants after urination.” which is nice to know! we also have a running WHO HAS SLEPT WITH XXXX list, for the biggest player on campus, in the toilets at the bar. i’m sure that that guy must be very proud. ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/37 "2001-08-26T17:55:05Z")
My personal favourite, over a Urinal: Don’t look up, you’ll miss. Don’t look down, you’ll cry. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/38 "2001-08-26T19:00:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dragonblink \* > \*\*For my part, I have the occasional habit of pencilling Shelley’s “Ozymandias” on bathroom walls, but then again I also type it on every typewriter and word processor on display at Office Depot. \*\* Allow me to applaud you **applause** Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/39 "2001-08-26T19:17:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by irishgirl \* > \*\* > “actually, urine is a sterile liquid and only picks up contaminants after urination.” > > which is nice to know! > \*\* The Master [speaks](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_220.html) on this subject. My two favorites from the Rathskeller at the Univeristy of Florida were: _Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse_ and \*Don’t drop acid… take it pass/fail \* Sadly the Rathskeller burned down some years later, I don’t know if it was ever rebuilt. ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224/40 "2001-09-10T23:03:15Z")
At a local tavern **"Amanda Rawls! I Love You more than life itself! I will Always Love You! Please call Me Tommorow**(sic)\*\* Always Richard"\*\* What disturbed me was that this plantive plea was found written just above the urinal in the Men’s room of this particular establishment. I have concluded that either Amanda has an alternative sexual assignment, or Always Richard is one, poor, sad bastard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/public-toilet-texts/48224.md?page=3)