# Pumping gas isn't rocket surgery you lazy twit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2016, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976 "2016-04-12T04:22:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/81 "2016-04-13T01:46:16Z")
> [@Kinthalis](#): > > I actually don’t know how dangerous it is statistically. Well, Occam’s Razor would imply that if it was actually a risky thing, then fewer than 48 states would allow self-service gas pumping. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/82 "2016-04-13T02:11:51Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > I don’t have a dog in this fight, but I can’t remember the last time I didn’t just swipe my card at the pump and begin fueling. Takes maybe 5 seconds. No need to go inside. I’m also one of these almost-never-carries-cash-around types, but it’s certainly not 5 seconds around here. Here it’s more like this: Swipe card. Wait for it to register. Then, it asks you for your zip code. Enter zip code. Wait a second or so. Would you like a car wash? Sometimes somewhere in this process there is also some question involving a rewards card or number or something like that. But it’s always at least two things: the zip code of the card holder and whether I want a car wash or not. From swiping to pumping, it’s more like 30-45 seconds. Not that it’s a big deal, but it does annoy the friggin shit out of me. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/83 "2016-04-13T02:17:34Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Yeah, I _like_ cash. As a business owner, I’ve had checks bounce (no longer accept them) and I’ve had credit card payment reversed over silly reasons that weren’t worth fighting. > > I love it when I quote a fee, say $425, to a local (often a farmer) and he pulls out a wad of cash and asks what I’ll take in cash (waggling his eyebrows). I say, $400, he winks and hands me the cash. > > Not sure what it’s all about, but everyone ends up happy. If you really don’t know what it’s about, the answer supplied before is correct. The assumption is that you will sock the cash away and not report it as income to the IRS, as opposed to a payment that is made with check or credit card or other completely traceable method. I mean, there are reasons to give cash discounts, but with the wink-wink-nudge-nudge you’re talking about, it’s absolutely assuming you are not reporting cash income to the IRS. ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/84 "2016-04-13T02:32:35Z")
I bought gas in Oregon once. The first indication that you’re not allowed to pump your own gas should _not_ be a dirty homeless looking guy running at you full speed and trying to wrestle your credit card out of your hand. After “the incident” I sure as hell pumped my own gas. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/85 "2016-04-13T03:00:20Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I’m used to pumping my own gas, though, and wouldn’t dream of going out of my way to find a station with an attendant. The OP is right. It ain’t rocket surgery. It’s one of those tasks you need to do that becomes second nature after a while. I grew up in Oregon, and did find a gas pump baffling the first time I drove in another state and was faced with self-service. Another customer noticed my Oregon plates and confused look and very kindly showed me how to work the pump. I only needed that one lesson, and I’m not the most mechanically capable person in the world. 🙂 I now live in California, and usually manage to get my husband to deal with that problem. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/86 "2016-04-13T04:34:06Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > ??? No, this, I had never heard. What happens? > > (I thought it was bad because it leads to top-off spills, which are wasteful and polluting.) Modern cars (say late 1990s and newer) trap the vapors that are displaced when you fill the tank in the car’s evaporative canister. The canister is designed to trap vapor. Liquid fuel will ruin it. Over filling the tank can, under the correct conditions, cause liquid fuel to force its way past the valve on the top of the tank and flood the canister. This can lead to tough running, stalls, check engine light and a several hundred dollar repair bill not covered by warranty. Also if they can’t seem to cope with the high technology involved in your gas cap (righty tighty, lefty loosey) and it trips a check engine light and you get to take time out of your day and visit your local auto repair emporium where if you are very lucky they won’t charge you, the first time. So yeah I have no problems with the OP crawling up the attendant’s ass for toping up particularly since the instructions printed right on the fucking pump tell you not to. (Go look the next time you get gas). After all he is a highly trained gasoline dispensing engineer who is so much more qualified to desperate this highly dangerous liquid than I. After all I’m just an ASE Master Automotive Technician with over 40 years of experience in the repair of the modern automobile. Obviously I am too stupid to do such a highly technical operation. I have purchased gas in both Oregon and NJ. I have yet to see an pump jockey in either of those states I would consider totally competent at their job. I would refer to them as inbred mouth breathers, but that would be an insult to inbred mouth breathers everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/87 "2016-04-13T05:57:27Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Would you like a car wash? Did I pull up to the fucking car wash? No, I pulled up to the gas pump. What the fuck do you think I want? I hate playing Twenty Questions with a goddamned gas pump before I can pump gas. The entire fucking world is connected to the Internet, my card has a magnetic strip AND a computer chip, but there is no way on God’s green earth that the system can figure out if it is a debit card or credit card. Obviously it’s something only the cardholder can answer, but really who the fuck cares? Costs me the same either way. Do I want a receipt? How about before you ask me that question you check and see if the lazy ass motherfucker attendant bothered to refill the paper in the pump printer in the two minutes that passed since you told the previous customer to see the clerk for a receipt? Because the answer is no, you still don’t have any fucking paper to print out a receipt. To anyone who programs the POS system for gas pumps: You suck at your job. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/88 "2016-04-13T07:02:52Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > The entire fucking world is connected to the Internet, my card has a magnetic strip AND a computer chip, but there is no way on God’s green earth that the system can figure out if it is a debit card or credit card. Obviously it’s something only the cardholder can answer, but really who the fuck cares? Costs me the same either way. It asks you if it’s a debit card or a credit card because most debit cards can use either option. Some banks even charge a fee if you use the debit button, so it doesn’t cost their account holders the same either way. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/89 "2016-04-13T07:24:42Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > To anyone who programs the POS system for gas pumps: You suck at your job. If they didn’t suck at their jobs, they’d be developing the next generation of AI systems or writing the software for the triple-redundant fault tolerant control systems for the next NASA Mars lander. But since they suck at their professed skill sets, they’re programming the POS interfaces for gas pumps. And, tragically, their equally unskilled friends are developing all the software that your bank, insurance, and cable companies use. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/90 "2016-04-13T08:18:32Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > I genuinely did LOL when I read what you wrote! I’ve often said I’d rather drive dead drunk on Divisadero (alliteration for free) in San Francisco with one leg and a clutch than drive in Portland. And I learned to drive in the Bay Area, so it’s an informed opinion. One thing I’ve never been able to figure out why peoples in Western Oregon are soooooooo completely incompetent at driving on snow. It only takes a half inch to shut the schools down. It’s not that the buses themselves are dangerous, but it’s like they’re giant yellow targets and peoples MUST slam into them. I swear, the peoples ALL drive closer together and at higher speeds. One morning after about an inch of snow, Eugene had **37** traffic accidents on the freeways … and there’s ONLY about 9 miles of freeway total in the whole fucking place. Automobile carnage in the ditches after a decent snowstorm, cars in medians, cars on front lawns, cars in the river … just how goddamn hard is it to drive on a little snow? Now you PIT the Oregon Legislature for not letting these peoples handle an EXPLOSIVE and FLAMMABLE liquids on their own ??? That’s cold, man … just cold … ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/91 "2016-04-13T10:53:55Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > If you really don’t know what it’s about, the answer supplied before is correct. The assumption is that you will sock the cash away and not report it as income to the IRS, as opposed to a payment that is made with check or credit card or other completely traceable method. I mean, there are reasons to give cash discounts, but with the wink-wink-nudge-nudge you’re talking about, it’s absolutely assuming you are not reporting cash income to the IRS. I guess that’s what they think, but I’m too cowardly to mess with the IRS. Still, cash payment is sweet from a small business POV. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/92 "2016-04-13T12:37:16Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > Did I pull up to the fucking car wash? No, I pulled up to the gas pump. What the fuck do you think I want? > > I hate playing Twenty Questions with a goddamned gas pump before I can pump gas. The entire fucking world is connected to the Internet, my card has a magnetic strip AND a computer chip, but there is no way on God’s green earth that the system can figure out if it is a debit card or credit card. Obviously it’s something only the cardholder can answer, but really who the fuck cares? Costs me the same either way. > > Do I want a receipt? How about before you ask me that question you check and see if the lazy ass motherfucker attendant bothered to refill the paper in the pump printer in the two minutes that passed since you told the previous customer to see the clerk for a receipt? Because the answer is no, you still don’t have any fucking paper to print out a receipt. And this is yet another reason why I prefer to hand the clerk a $10 and say “10 on pump ##” and do it myself. That, and card skimmers, which were a thing around here awhile back. Yeah, I like the convenience of not having to carry wads of cash around all the time like 30 or 40 years ago, but sometimes cash has advantages e-payment does not. Basically I like having options. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/93 "2016-04-13T13:01:41Z")
See, I actually prefer paying at the pump, I just wish the process would allow me to start pumping gas as quickly as possible. I’m going to be standing around waiting a couple of minutes while the tank is filling, how about asking me about a car wash then? And if you drive old cars, the windshield squeegee car wash is more than adequate. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/94 "2016-04-13T13:46:31Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > \And this is yet another reason why I prefer to hand the clerk a $10 and say “10 on pump ##” and do it myself.\ But what if you want to fill up? You have to give the clerk more than you think you need, and then go back and get change. Pain in the ass IMHO. MUCH faster to just pay at the pump. ---
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/95 "2016-04-13T14:34:54Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > I sincerely hope that someday, somewhere, I’m in front of you in the cash register line, so I can pay in cash and watch you seethe at the loss of 15 seconds from your life. > > I almost never pay in cash (hell, I rarely even carry cash) but in your case I’d happily make an exception. 😃 I don’t see how it takes any longer to pay in cash than it does with a card, myself. If anything, the CC authorization and signing the receipts (for non-gas purchases) seem to take as long the process of counting out change. How long does it take you anti-cash people to count, anyway? Maybe we need someone to time the transactions with a stopwatch. I often buy fountain sodas from Circle Ks around here. They come out to 75¢. My usual payment process is to pull out the change I have in my pocket, count out 75¢, walk up to the register and pay. If I pay with a CC, I must open my wallet, slide the card out of the tiny pocket inside the wallet, wait for the cashier to ring up the soda on the register, swipe the card through the reader, and wait for my payment to be approved. In some stores, I might even have to sign the receipt! My usual way is faster, I just bring the soda to the clerk, hand him two coins, and I’m on my way. I also don’t get the notion that just because I’m paying with cash, that I must have something to hide. People have been paying with currency for millennia. So by continuing to do what people have done for thousands of years to facilitate exchanges of goods and services, they must be up to no good because—please explain. ---
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/96 "2016-04-13T14:38:53Z")
> [@Lord\_Feldon](#): > > It asks you if it’s a debit card or a credit card because most debit cards can use either option. Some banks even charge a fee if you use the debit button, so it doesn’t cost their account holders the same either way. There is a particular station around here that has three options before you swipe your card on the pump. 1. Pay inside 2. Pay outside credit 3. Pay outside debit Anytime that I have paid at the pump at that station, I press option #2, and swipe the card, and every time I have done so, the very next question it asks is, “Is this a debit card?”:smack: ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/97 "2016-04-13T15:20:37Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > Did I pull up to the fucking car wash? No, I pulled up to the gas pump. What the fuck do you think I want? > > I hate playing Twenty Questions with a goddamned gas pump before I can pump gas. The entire fucking world is connected to the Internet, my card has a magnetic strip AND a computer chip, but there is no way on God’s green earth that the system can figure out if it is a debit card or credit card. Obviously it’s something only the cardholder can answer, but really who the fuck cares? Costs me the same either way. > > Do I want a receipt? How about before you ask me that question you check and see if the lazy ass motherfucker attendant bothered to refill the paper in the pump printer in the two minutes that passed since you told the previous customer to see the clerk for a receipt? Because the answer is no, you still don’t have any fucking paper to print out a receipt. > > To anyone who programs the POS system for gas pumps: You suck at your job. Ah! That’s right! I knew there were a couple more menus. Yes, the Credit/Debit one and the receipt one, too. (The car wash one, though, is somewhat necessary because here many places have a 10 or 20 cent discount on gas if purchased with a car wash. That said, I hate that they’ve linked these two purchases together.) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/98 "2016-04-13T15:22:53Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I guess that’s what they think, but I’m too cowardly to mess with the IRS. > > Still, cash payment is sweet from a small business POV. As Alan Thicke says in his radio ads: “Don’t mess with the IRS!” As a small business, I always prefer check or Chase Quickpay (or credit, except for the 3% charge) so I can track everything more easily. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/99 "2016-04-13T17:13:52Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > One thing I’ve never been able to figure out why peoples in Western Oregon are soooooooo completely incompetent at driving on snow. It only takes a half inch to shut the schools down. It’s not that the buses themselves are dangerous, but it’s like they’re giant yellow targets and peoples MUST slam into them. I swear, the peoples ALL drive closer together and at higher speeds. One morning after about an inch of snow, Eugene had **37** traffic accidents on the freeways … and there’s ONLY about 9 miles of freeway total in the whole fucking place. > > Automobile carnage in the ditches after a decent snowstorm, cars in medians, cars on front lawns, cars in the river … just how goddamn hard is it to drive on a little snow? Now you PIT the Oregon Legislature for not letting these peoples handle an EXPLOSIVE and FLAMMABLE liquids on their own ??? > > That’s cold, man … just cold … Because it doesn’t snow all that often. Even in Anchorage, the first snow of the season resulted in dozens of accidents and ditch divers. It’s like people lose their muscle memory after a break between winters. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976/100 "2016-04-13T17:32:31Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Finally someone says “retarded” in the Pit so I can respond appropriately. Just because your mom is retarded doesn’t mean you get to be mean on message boards. > [@Absolute](#): > > Get a rewards card, and pay it off every month, and all your spending is actually a short-term loan for which _they pay you_ 1% to take out. Not being an retard I only have one credit card and it is a rewards card for emergencies. I learned math in school so I know how to budget and I use the debit card for transactions with shop keeps. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pumping-gas-isnt-rocket-surgery-you-lazy-twit/751976.md?page=6)