# Punchline Regularly Tossed Out Without the Jokes They Come From **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2013, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864 "2013-04-04T21:48:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/1 "2013-04-04T21:48:33Z")
There are all kinds of jokes that “everybody” already knows and has heard countless times, and assumes everybody else knows. And in certain circumstances, people regularly toss out punchlines that seem appropriate to the situation. Examples: 1. When you’re given a task nobody else wants, you may hear, “Today is YOUR day in the barrel.” 2. When you say, “We have a ton of work to do,” a lazy slacker is liable to snort, “What you mean WE, Kemo Sabe?” 3. When things are looking grim, a would-be optimist may quip, “Well, there must be a pony here someplace.” What punchlines do you hear or use semi-regularly? You don’t have to share the joke(s), just the punchlines and (maybe) the context in which they’re used. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/2 "2013-04-04T22:02:37Z")
Any time someone asked how much something costs: “Twenty bucks, same as in town.” ---
**Author:** ![bot3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@bot3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bot3)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/3 "2013-04-04T22:06:42Z")
When it appears that good fortune might strike, but something just isn’t right you might say " What the hell, two rolls no coffee!" ---
**Author:** ![bot3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@bot3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bot3)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/4 "2013-04-04T22:07:55Z")
Or When things are a real mess…“This looks like a shit-house in distress”. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleClogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@PurpleClogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleClogs)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/5 "2013-04-04T22:08:20Z")
Not really a joke, but anytime you say something is $19.99, “but if you act now, we’ll send you TWO”. ---
**Author:** ![dubs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dubs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dubs)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/6 "2013-04-04T22:31:04Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Any time someone asked how much something costs: “Twenty bucks, same as in town.” Good Lord!! When I heard this joke 30 years ago, it was only 10 bucks! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/7 "2013-04-04T22:39:05Z")
Lady, this just ain’t your day. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/8 "2013-04-04T22:44:37Z")
> [@dubs](#): > > Good Lord!! When I heard this joke 30 years ago, it was only 10 bucks! If we adjust for inflation it’s now 40 bucks same as in town. ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/9 "2013-04-04T23:23:40Z")
We say “But do they call me Seamus the architect?” fairly often, without the rest of the joke. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/10 "2013-04-04T23:28:19Z")
“… said the actress to the bishop.” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/11 "2013-04-05T00:11:11Z")
Monty Python is a rich source of these. “Run away! Run away!” “That’s no ordinary rabbit!” “An African or a European swallow?” ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/12 "2013-04-05T00:20:27Z")
Focus? Bof us? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/13 "2013-04-05T00:53:38Z")
Rectum? Damn near killed him! ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/14 "2013-04-05T00:57:46Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Monty Python is a rich source of these. > > “Run away! Run away!” > > “That’s no ordinary rabbit!” > > “An African or a European swallow?” She has huge…tracts of land. I believe Siri refuses to answer the question “What’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow” question. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/15 "2013-04-05T14:13:47Z")
Who you callin “you people?” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/16 "2013-04-05T14:20:41Z")
I think we’ve slipped out of joke punch-lines and into movie punch-lines, so what the hell … … whenever something at work gets troublesome, we usually comment, “Could be worse, could be raining.” ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/17 "2013-04-05T14:24:24Z")
Third base! ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/18 "2013-04-05T14:41:26Z")
Not the actual punchline, but you know how sometimes someone will tell you something, and they’re talking fast/excitedly, so there’s no pause for you to ask them what they’re going on about? So you end up hearing some long, confusing story that makes absolutely no sense to you? My usual reply to something like that is, "[a couple seconds of silence] …_Who’s_ on first? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/19 "2013-04-05T15:03:59Z")
> [@Ms.Pumpkin](#): > > Not the actual punchline, but you know how sometimes someone will tell you something, and they’re talking fast/excitedly, so there’s no pause for you to ask them what they’re going on about? So you end up hearing some long, confusing story that makes absolutely no sense to you? My usual reply to something like that is, "[a couple seconds of silence] …_Who’s_ on first? Or "Wait.. who shot _who_ in the _what?"_ ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/20 "2013-04-05T15:18:53Z")
> [@bot3](#): > > When it appears that good fortune might strike, but something just isn’t right you might say " What the hell, two rolls no coffee!" > [@bot3](#): > > Or > > When things are a real mess…“This looks like a shit-house in distress”. References? I’m not familiar with them, and neither show up on Google in the form you quote them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864.md?page=2)