# Punchline Regularly Tossed Out Without the Jokes They Come From **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2013, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864 "2013-04-04T21:48:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/61 "2013-04-07T05:53:03Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > “That’s what _she_ said.” > > I must say, however, that of the examples in the OP, only #2 is familiar to me (and I get most of the other contributions). That’s what she said at the picnic. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/62 "2013-04-07T06:11:53Z")
“Puny god.” “Let. The Wookie. Win!” “I am a sexy shoeless God of War!” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/63 "2013-04-07T19:24:22Z")
“That explains the mayonaise on your shoes.” You can use it almost anywhere, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/64 "2013-04-07T20:09:13Z")
Blah, blah, blah, Ginger. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/65 "2013-04-07T22:13:09Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > No, it’s really very simple… You stay here, and make sure he doesn’t leave. Unless what again? ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/66 "2013-04-08T01:19:15Z")
Well, depending on the genteelness of the company, “Hey, you brought her, _YOU_ poke’er!” And the classic from H:Lots–“You didn’t come here to hunt, did you?” Which I remember correctly when that show was on and I was on a newsgroup, someone who knew the joke had to explain it, b/c they never say anything but the punchline (as I remember). ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/67 "2013-04-30T08:06:33Z")
In my circle, any time someone fucks up royally and had lots of warning that it would go badly… “Should have bought the squirrel” ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/68 "2013-04-30T12:02:43Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > Lady, this just ain’t your day. Holy shit. I just looked up this joke. This is easily THE most offensive and hilarious joke I’ve ever heard. Wow. AMAZING. I am SO quoting this from now on whenever I have to deliver bad news to someone (lady or not). WOW. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/69 "2013-04-30T14:02:04Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Holy shit. I just looked up this joke. This is easily THE most offensive and hilarious joke I’ve ever heard. Wow. AMAZING. > > I am SO quoting this from now on whenever I have to deliver bad news to someone (lady or not). WOW. It is a righteous jewel, all right. The version I was alluding to has a woman staked out in the desert and an old saddle bum arriving to hear her sad tale of rape and other abuses. That the one you found? ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/70 "2013-04-30T15:13:49Z")
Whenever my daughter would keep asking me stupid questions (“Why do we have to go there?” “Why can’t I get the dress?” “Where is my homework?”) and I got tired of answering them I would finally reply, “Because ice cream doesn’t have bones.” ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/71 "2013-04-30T15:24:43Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > It is a righteous jewel, all right. The version I was alluding to has a woman staked out in the desert and an old saddle bum arriving to hear her sad tale of rape and other abuses. That the one you found? Yes that’s the one. I still can’t get over how shocking it is. Possibly the only truly funny rape joke I’ve ever heard. Easily more shocking than the Aristocrats at its worst. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/72 "2013-04-30T15:46:31Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Yes that’s the one. I still can’t get over how shocking it is. Possibly the only truly funny rape joke I’ve ever heard. Easily more shocking than the Aristocrats at its worst. It’s all in how they tell the Aristocrats joke if it’s even slightly amusing. I seem to remember Gilbert Gottfried’s telling was pretty raunchy, and Sarah Silverman can make the phone book funny – at least she could before that lame series she had. The only other rape joke I can even compare it to is of a trucker picking up a long-haired hitchhiker. Remember that one? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/73 "2013-04-30T15:54:57Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Yes that’s the one. I still can’t get over how shocking it is. Possibly the only truly funny rape joke I’ve ever heard. Easily more shocking than the Aristocrats at its worst. I don’t find it funny, just another ‘‘it’s offensive, so it _must_ be funny’’ miscalculation, a la Sarah Silverman or whoever. [This one though…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF5XJRYJFrY) Also, I could easily add three pages to this thread listing punchlines we spout off on a regular basis. SMACK! ‘‘You know we don’t!’’ is one of my favorites. (Philip J. Fry: That doesn’t look like an L at all. Unless you count lower-case. Bender: _outraged slap_ You know we don’t!) ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/74 "2013-04-30T16:13:11Z")
It’s funny not because it’s shocking. If that were true, then it would be just as funny if the guy said, “No, I’m going to rape you instead.” It’s funny because of the use of the phrase, “Lady, this just ain’t your day,” which is just something you would never say to someone you were about to rape and it’s a hilariously “light” phrase to use to refer to rape. You know, if you get a flat tire on your way to work, or you lose your luggage at the airport, that would be an apropriate use of the phrase “not your day,” but when it’s applied to rape, it’s hilarious because it’s such an understatement. The rape itself allows the punchline to be funny but otherwise it’s not funny in and of itself just because of the shock value. And no I’ve never heard the one about the trucker who picks up a long haired hitch hiker. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/75 "2013-04-30T16:37:47Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > And no I’ve never heard the one about the trucker who picks up a long haired hitch hiker. To abbreviate what can be made into as long and shaggy a story as you wish, the gist is that it’s a rainy night and the long-hair is drenched and goes on and on about his thanks for the ride, his backstory, and all sorts of trivia and the driver remains silent throughout. Eventually the rider asks, “Well, aren’t you going to ask me?” “Ask you what?” “Whether I’m a boy or a girl.” “Aw, it don’t matter to me. I’m gonna fuck you anyway.” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/76 "2013-04-30T16:38:20Z")
“Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?” “Superman, you’re a mean bastard when you’re drunk.” “Try to stop you? Hell, I bet $20 that you’d make it!” “Don’t listen to her! Sheep lie!!” “You can if you want to. After all, it’s your cow.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/77 "2013-04-30T16:39:32Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > It’s funny not because it’s shocking. If that were true, then it would be just as funny if the guy said, “No, I’m going to rape you instead.” > > It’s funny because of the use of the phrase, “Lady, this just ain’t your day,” which is just something you would never say to someone you were about to rape and it’s a hilariously “light” phrase to use to refer to rape. You know, if you get a flat tire on your way to work, or you lose your luggage at the airport, that would be an apropriate use of the phrase “not your day,” but when it’s applied to rape, it’s hilarious because it’s such an understatement. > > The rape itself allows the punchline to be funny but otherwise it’s not funny in and of itself just because of the shock value. > > And no I’ve never heard the one about the trucker who picks up a long haired hitch hiker. You sure know all get-out about rape.:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Pazu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pazu/32/15522_2.png) [@Pazu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pazu)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/78 "2013-04-30T16:41:47Z")
“We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/79 "2013-04-30T17:18:47Z")
“no, but my father was a piano mover, so” ---
**Author:** ![Reyemile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@Reyemile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reyemile)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864/80 "2013-04-30T17:47:59Z")
“Very well then. Death…by Bunga Bunga!” “…but you fuck ONE goat…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchline-regularly-tossed-out-without-the-jokes-they-come-from/654864.md?page=5)